Ex doesn't see why he needs to pay maintenance

Caroline73_2

If you can't afford to get your son to nursery how will you get him to school in September. If he has a place there he will have to go, you can't not take him because you can't afford it.

Basically if your ex is on JSA you wouldn't be getting enough from him to make a significant difference to your household income. Are you getting all the.benefits you are entitled to?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

£8000 in 2 years? Took 12 years for the CSA to get £1700 from my ex.

Don't knock it.

Flower08

lauren_1 wrote: »

Why dont you give the £7k car back and the £1k from you business and requests maintainance from the sale of the car.

I have to admit I was suprised no one picked up on this fact earlier.

OP I would say you have done pretty well out of getting money from your sons father, not many ex's would buy you a car! I agree he should contribute some money, but could you not sell the car (think you said you couldnt afford to insure it) and use that money?

Zoetoes

Flower08 wrote: »

I have to admit I was suprised no one picked up on this fact earlier.

OP I would say you have done pretty well out of getting money from your sons father, not many ex's would buy you a car! I agree he should contribute some money, but could you not sell the car (think you said you couldnt afford to insure it) and use that money?

This is partly why I suspected it wasn't a genuine post.

faithcecilia

You are both on benefits. He gets what the government believes a single person needs to live on, you get what they believe an adult and a child need, plus you are working. While I would imagine a father would want to pay towards his child I cannot see why, when everyone involved is claiming benefits anyway, he should be obliged. And given he is seeing his son, he will of course be paying out extra during that time, at least £5 I'd imagine.

toocleverbyhalf

Thanks all for your replies. I asked for another opinion and boy I got it! I can't expect you to know the background to this, but obviously there's a lot that has happened. I have decided to try and use my car as part ex for a smaller cheaper one, but I'm not paying him the money back or either the car or buisness money. When he offered me the money to set up I initially refused because I knew that it would forever be held against me. And it has been. Every week he asks how many clients I have had and mentally calculates how much I've made and demands a cut. Sometimes I won't have any clients for a couple of weeks, but I still have bills to pay. There's no way I can pay him back at the moment and quite honestly I don't see why I should. It was a gift, part of the £10,000 he got from his dad. As for nursery, he doesn't have to go to that school & I've chosen one in walking distance, just in case I don't have a car. That car was bought when we had a breif reconciliation after he went to rehab.
I've been to hell and back with this man, been hospitalised because of him but it's time I moved on.
I think you are all right and I should arrange for my son to be picked up & dropped off at his dads who lives around the corner from me and be independent financially.I have also decided to keep MY contact with him to a minimum. I can't take the verbal abuse any more. He makes me feel like s***t so it's best I stay away. I won't be contacting the CSA either. It's not worth the abuse I'll get.

toocleverbyhalf

Hi. Thanks for your replies. I asked for another opinion and I got it! I've decided to try to get a smaller car to save money, but I'm not giving it back nor am I willing to pay back the £1000. I haven't got it & it was a gift. I initially turned it down on the basis that it would be held against me forever. He said he wouldn't be it always gets thrown in my face and he thinks he should get a cut of every client I do. Some weeks I don't earn anything and I still need to make up the shortfall in my benefits and I live on the breedlove. Yet everytime he gets a bit short his dad bails him out. Also the car was bought for me so I could take his son to visit him in rehab which was a 200 mile round trip every sunday for six months.
I guess I'm feeling resentful because everytime I try to get him to face up to his responsibilites I get verbal abuse and he tells me to keep my som away. That's until he calms down. But I can't take any more, I get IB for bipolar and I'm still having counselling for what I went through. I'm not bothering with the CSA either. I'm too scared of what he'll do. It's not worth it just for a fiver.