Ex doesn't see why he needs to pay maintenance

shelley_crow

If he can afford to indulge his smoking habit normally then he can afford to pay something towards his child, surely even a token £1 a week shows willing that he would pay more if he could...

kelloggs36

if he is on JSA he should pay £5 out of his benefits as maintenance.

elsien

If he adores his son as much as you say, then he'd be making the effort to pick him up when he has access and not be expecting you to do all the running round. And stop buying him fags!

mum2twinsx2

zoeleigh wrote: »

I suspect this isn't a genuine post, surely a mother wouldn't inflict such mental torture on her own child just to be such a spiteful !!!!!.

In ideal world it wouldn`t happen, but shamefully it does.

rachbc

I'm all for nrps paying maintenance but in this case what is he supposed to pay with? As he is on JSA he won't have any/ much money to give you...

I would however attempt to formalise your pick up/ drop off arrangements (my ex ad I do one trip each) and keep all you other financial dealings separate - no buying him fags or borrowing money from him - it makes things so much easier in the long run when boundaries are clear.

gratefulforhelp_2

Toocleverbyhalf wrote: »

When I said I didn't see why I had to pay the money back because I bought him 3 packets of fags last weekend when he was broke, he went mental and told me to get my son and f****k off out of his life. QUOTE]

Super charming.

Toocleverbyhalf wrote: »

I think the best thing to do is cut off contact because I'm clearly banging my head against a brick wall.

Its been said but you can't mix child support and contact, otherwise my daughter wouldn't recognise her biological father:eek:

kelloggs36 wrote: »

if he is on JSA he should pay £5 out of his benefits as maintenance.

I suspect CSA CBA to collect. Suggest you contact them again and ask them to do the assessment and collect the fiver a week.

You do not, though, have to drop off or pick up for contact, car or no car.

That is the responsibility of the NRP (your ex).

xoxo_2

rachbc wrote: »

I'm all for nrps paying maintenance but in this case what is he supposed to pay with? As he is on JSA he won't have any/ much money to give you...

If he can afford to smoke he can afford to provide for his child.

Smoke away £10 a week, or give that money towards his child who he apparently adores. Hmm... tough choice...

lauren_1

Why dont you give the £7k car back and the £1k from you business and requests maintainance from the sale of the car.

Or be very grateful for the car, grow up and work out long it would have taken you to get £7k from him via CSA.

I think threatening to cut contact is the wrong move.

Jinx

Would you be better off financially finding a job in a salon? You could still do your regular clients and declare your profit (if any) on your tax return. This might put you on a better footing and you could go self-employed full time again when you are able.

RE your ex not collecting your son, thats his decision. I think you need to put it in black and white; if you dont collect him you will not be having him - so that leaves you phone calls or skype. Most of us have been there, i spent a fortune on bus fares when I initially split with my ex, then got a reality check; my bus fares were dearer than his petrol and it took me a lot longer.... Of course you may want to revisit that when you're more solvent but you may not.

If you are entitled to the cash while hes on benefits - claim it. And dont buy the ex anything but equally this will mean he wont lend you anything.

Good luck

Blackpool_Saver

Accept no maintenance until he has a job, stop supporting him though too.
Keep up the contact for the child's sake.