16 year olds staying in hostel

Emmzi

just to add - as some of the parents seem determined to keep thier kids "young" - very controlling parent at 16 = me going to live in a squat at 17 to get away from it.

Did not seem to kill me.

Proceed with caution though!

Tish_P

I stayed at a YH for a few days with 5 friends when we were 15. We arranged the trip including food, train tickets & accommodation and it was really good fun! I'd be more worried if your 16yo wasn't showing this kind of sign of emerging independence.

bestpud

My dd(18) started going for occassional weekends with a group of people she met on the www at 16.

At first I was horrified and the first time she met them, I went with her to London for the day, so I could see they were who she thought they were! Since then they've been to a few places but they tend to book an apartment or crash at someone's flat - they just take sleeping bags and find some floor space.

If she wanted to go with a group of friends I knew then I wouldn't have been so concerned.

Your dd has been honest - some woukd have told you they were staying over at a friends. Ask for the name of the hostel and say you are worried as it's her first time away, so you will be calling if she doesn't
contact you regularly.

I used to ask dd to text at every railway station on the way and when she found her friends dah de dah . She humoured me and I soon relaxed.

I did have to book her a hotel room once, when she was 16, as bad weather meant her train could only go so far (and she'd got no money on her!!) and she couldn't get hold of her friend with the flat they'd
stayed at, but she got up the next morning and came home ok. I was worried sick about her being in a strange city at 11pm and with no cash on her, but she coped, and learnt it's always advisable to have cash and a back up plan.

Now I leave her alone as long as I see a FB update every now and again.

At least your dd is with friends. If you can teach yourself to trust her, it can be a great learning curve for her. Just tell her you are worried and come up with a plan you both feel ok with.

busiscoming2

If you believe your daughter to be mature enough and know the friends then I don't see a problem. At 16 she could be working and in my mind that means they are responsible enough. Its hard to let them go, but think back to when you were that age and what you were doing.

bestpud

busiscoming2 wrote: »

but think back to when you were that age and what you were doing.

That could be the problem!

sock-knitter

at 16 they are more than old enough to go for a weekend away.
aty 16 they can leave home, and do as they wish

Kayteehee

I'm 23 now and when I was 16 I went on a trip away to celebrate finishing our GCSES, to various hostels in North Yorkshire with 4 friends (2 male 2 female & I am female). We organised and saved for the whole thing ourselves, planned itineries, train tickets and bookings. We had a great time and unlike what someone on this thread said about the uk coast having no draw except drink, we had a great time no alcohol or partying involved!

We visited the sights, went to the beach, hiked around, and eat night one of us made a 2/3 course meal for the rest of us on a £10 budget. It taught us a lot of things and we really enjoyed the freedom. I think at 16 your daughter should be more than capable of doing this. Just get the details of where she is and make sure she knows what to do in an emergency. As far as i'm aware the parents of my friends were very pleased for us to be all going away together. I know of some girls in my year alternatively went on a drunken sun sex and sea trip to Ibiza or some other place at 14/15 (no idea how!).....

January20

At 16 my dd went away for a whole week with 7 or 8 of hers friends to a little cottage by the sea a couple of hours' drive away from our home. It was a great experience and a great learning opportunity for them: They booked and paid for the whole thing, they organised transport and food, etc. They had a great time.

My dd is 18 now and this year, after A level exams, they are planning to go to London for a few days. I'm glad I let my dd go when she was 16. Allowing more and more independance and choices over her own life has made her a very mature and sensible girl.

She is more sensible at 18 than I was at 21. I was mollycoddles because my parents feared I would get into the wrong relationship, the wrong crowd, not do well at school etc. Consequently, I grabbed the first bit of freedom I got: hence me living in the uk now.

mum2twinsx2

If you trust her, why not?
I would be strict on finding out where she is staying, make sure you have all her friends numbers. Check with all the other parents that all is okay with there child going etc...
I went to london after my GCSES with three friends, we just went shopping sightseeing.
we quite often jumped on the train with camping gear to the sea, but we are only about fifteen mins from nearest beach.. x

red_devil

check out what the other parents think? she may just be saying they all know and they are alright?