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Help with primary school needed?

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  • Mics_chick
    Mics_chick Posts: 12,014 Forumite
    was picking my DD up from school yesterday (shes 8) and someone in her class had wet herself because the teacher had asked her to hold on and she couldn't. She was in floods of tears and of course all the children were laughing at her,,,, that will stay with that poor little girl for a while. I would be FURIOUS if it had been my DD, when you need to go you need to go, especially in this cold weather.

    I think you are being an optimist about this situation Mrs O :D - the following situation happened to me at 7 or 8 and I can still recall it very clearly now I'm 40 !!! :eek:

    When I was in the last year of infants, I asked my teacher about 4 times in quick succession if I could go to the toilet and every time she said no! Taking into account what some posters have said about skivers/time-wasters in this thread, I was sitting on my own in the book corner for talking too much in class but I still don't think it excused what happened... The last time I went up to her desk she said I could go - but I told her it was too late because I'd already been... on the floor!!!

    It makes me so angry :mad: :mad: :mad: that it's still happening and breaks my heart for the poor kids who it's happening to :grouphug:

    In my opinion I would ask the teacher in a calm way about her version of the story and if you're not satisfied that it wasn't a misunderstanding/accident or that it won't be handled any differently next time then tell her your nephew will not be asking for permission in future he will just tell her he's going to the toilet and then go!!! Depending on where the toilets are (ours used to be outside across the playground) he should inform her to be on the safe side - so that she knows where he is. Then I would write to the school and tell them about the situation and the reason why. If anyone raises any objections I should point out that this is highly humiliating for him and even a form of psychological abuse - some may think it an extreme view but this is how I feel from actual experience.

    Good luck with this, MC
    You should never call somebody else a nerd or geek because everybody (even YOU !!!) is an
    "anorak" about something whether it's trains, computers, football, shoes or celebs :p :rotfl:
  • Mics_chick wrote:
    and if you're not satisfied that it wasn't a misunderstanding/accident or that it won't be handled any differently next time then tell her your nephew will not be asking for permission in future he will just tell her he's going to the toilet and then go!!! Depending on where the toilets are (ours used to be outside across the playground) he should inform her to be on the safe side - so that she knows where he is.

    As others have said until the teacher's been spoken to, we can't actually know what happened v what the child perceived happened.

    however, I would be appalled if a child/parent in a class behaved like that rather than trying to solve the problem in a constructive manner.

    We all complain about a lack of control by teachers, encouraging behaviour like this may be a very good reason why some children think rules and expectations of certain behaviour do not apply to them.

    please try to speak to the teacher and if not the logical chaanels before encouraging disrespect of her authority that could spread to other pupils.
    "This is a forum - not a support group. We do not "owe" anyone unconditional acceptance of their opinions."
  • Mics_chick
    Mics_chick Posts: 12,014 Forumite
    I stand by what I've said about telling the teacher about going to the loo rather than asking.

    After reading all of the incidents mentioned in this thread and my own bad personal experience in childhood I felt outraged that this is still carrying on.

    Maybe I didn't state it emphatically enough that the teacher should be approached in a calm and reasonable manner. But after listening to her version if it is clear that it wasn't an accident or a misunderstanding and the teacher showed an arrogant or disinterested attitude then I would not let her exercise her petty-minded power trips on my child. Come on haven't we all met someone like that at some point - it's their way or no way. My child would not be humiliated for the sake of someone's ego.

    I heard another disturbing story from a mother I was on a SureStart course with. When her daughter started school, another child in her daughter's class mentioned that someone had been to the loo for a poo but not flushed it. The teacher remembered that the last one to go to the loo was the daughter so she got the blame for it, even though it could have been anyone else in the class. The little girl must have used a different cubical and not realised that someone else had been lax. Anyway the teacher made such a fuss about the incident and embarassed the little girl infront of the whole class that she developed a phobia for using public toilets even if she was double up in pain. The little girl was around 5 when the incident happened but she still refused to use public loos even in her late teens!!!

    I realise that teachers need control of their classes but being pragmatic enough to realise that occasionally a child might need the loo between break times, especially in the first couple of years, instead of a rule set in stone that if anyone asks the answer is always NO!!! Skivers/time-wasters are soon found out but it shouldn't be at the expense of the genuine cases.
    You should never call somebody else a nerd or geek because everybody (even YOU !!!) is an
    "anorak" about something whether it's trains, computers, football, shoes or celebs :p :rotfl:
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