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Help with primary school needed?

2

Comments

  • inkie
    inkie Posts: 2,609 Forumite
    Mortgage-free Glee!
    Certainly go in and have a word with the teacher (or better still, put it in writing), children should be able to go to school without the fear of humiliation by having an accident.
  • Prudent
    Prudent Posts: 11,566 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    I suspect this may be the first and the last time. The teacher will not want a repeat incident! It can be hard to judge when to let a child out of class, as some just want a walk along the corridor. I am a teacher, and fortunately this has never happened to me, but I would take the child at face value next time if it did. It has happened to teachers that I work with and they do feel guilty about not letting the child out of class.
  • andycarmi
    andycarmi Posts: 1,072 Forumite
    inkie wrote:
    Certainly go in and have a word with the teacher (or better still, put it in writing), children should be able to go to school without the fear of humiliation by having an accident.

    I agree with this if you write a formal letter, you SHOULD get a written reply back. Also state that is what you expect. Then if your not hapy you have evidence to take it futher if needed.
  • rio
    rio Posts: 245 Forumite
    This happened to my son who is 4 as well, and he refused to put on the borrowed pair of clothing and instead screamed and screamed so much that I had to go into school to calm him down. He is now allowed to go to toilet whenever he likes without asking. I wonder why!!
  • Spendless
    Spendless Posts: 24,390 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper
    i would say to teacher, young mikey came home with spare pants on yesterday, do you know what happened? and then take things from there.
  • misty
    misty Posts: 1,042 Forumite
    After I read this thread - I asked my son (5) what he would do if he needed the toilet when it wasn't play time. he said he would ask Mrs W and then go. He said he would have to go quickly just in case the fire alarm went off and he was out of class. (something I hadn't thought of) I asked him what he would do if the fire alarm did go off - he said they have to finish quickly and go straight to meeting point not back to class. They obviously know that children do need to go to the toilet and it isn't always convenient. I teach adults and I've lost count how many times people come back from break and then nip to the loo - but I wouldn't dream of saying they couldn't - so why some schools do is beyond me.
  • pavlovs_dog
    pavlovs_dog Posts: 10,213 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    i would raise your concerns with the teacher before taking the issue any higher. find out both sides of the story, then decide how best to proceed.

    its easy for us grown ups to forget that at that age, children dont have the 'capacity' to plan their toilet breaks around convenient moments in the way that us oldies can. when they need to go, they need to go there and then - holding on is rarely an option :o
    know thyself
    Nid wy'n gofyn bywyd moethus...
  • Poppy9
    Poppy9 Posts: 18,833 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    I think all kids in primary complain about teachers not letting them go to the toilet during lessons. Part of the problem is that some kids just use it as an excuse to leave the class. Usually the teachers know which children play up but because they have warned the class that they will not be allowed to use the toilet outside play/lunch time the good kids don't ask as they think they will be refused.

    DD used to be in a swimming club. It was quite a serious club that competed regularly and the training was hard. DD was about 10 and she asked coach to go to the toilet. He said no even though she never normally asks. The reason he said no was because one girl in the squad used to ask to go every 15 minutes (they trained for either 1 or 1.5 hours at a time) just to skive. By the end of the session DD was feeling quite ill as it wasn't number 1's she needed:o . I told her if it happened again she was old enough to say, "sorry but I have to go" and to just get out of the pool.
    :) ~Laugh and the world laughs with you, weep and you weep alone.~:)
  • chmmy
    chmmy Posts: 267 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture Combo Breaker
    I think it would really have helped here if the teacher had come out and explained what happened. When my son age 4 wet himself recently and was really upset i was told what had happened (he couldnt open the classdoor and panicked....).

    I work as a TA in Year1 and it can seem that sometimes we let children go and sometimes we dont. This is because some children only ask to go when their friend is going, or maybe they have just come in and sat down from play/lunch, or there are only a couple more minutes of teaching on the carpet before they go to work at their tables.

    Usually you can see when a child really does need to go (by the look in their eyes or they are dancing a bit!) so we have only had one 'wet accident'. I assume if you just write a note or speak to the teacher and ask if your nephew can go to the toilet whenever he asks then it wont happen again.
  • sticher
    sticher Posts: 599 Forumite
    Personally, I think approaching the teacher first is by far the best approach. There could be any number of reasons the teacher did not come out to talk to you about the incident, and until you speak to her you will not know exactly what happened. Children often see things differently to how adults do. Personally, i think writing a letter/seeing a Governor, etc is not even giving the teacher a chance to explain - which may set your mind at rest immediately, and with no bad feeling on either side.

    Children of all ages will ask to go to the toilet to get out of lessons/have a break from class, etc and teachers cannot have children constantly coming in and out of class (this happens if you allow it to) as it causes too much disruption. Obviously though at age 5 more allowances have to be made.
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