Help with primary school needed?

mikeywills

I know that this is not necessarily a moneysaving topic, but I really could do with some help with how to approach the subject tactfully.

The day before yesterday my nephew came out of school with his trousers and pants in a bag, and wearing some school spares. When I asked him what had happened he said that he needed to go to the toilet in class but the teacher would not let him. He was unable to hold on so had wet himself (he's 5), His teacher did not come out when I picked him up but his older sister said that when she was in the same class the teacher used to have favourites that would be let out to go to the toilet while everyone else was refused.

What I really would like is some help with approaching the subject with his teacher. I don't want to go in ranting and raving, which is how I feel, but I want to make sure that I can stop this happening again in the future. My nephew is a very sensitive boy, and I could tell that he was very embarrassed about it.

Any advice greater accepted.

frenchconnection200

I would suggest finding out who your parent governor is and approach them. They should be in a position to see the head teacher and discuss it with them, or perhaps be with you if you discussed it with the head. Tread carefully as accusing teachers of having favourites won't help but state that your nephew is sensitive and this has upset him. I think it is terrible not allowing children to go to the toilet especially at that age and this needs to be addressed.
As a parent governor myself I would have no problems approaching the head teacher about something like this if asked to do so, good luck.

kelloggs36

I would get your son's side of the story and then ask (politely) the teacher's side too. It may be that he forgot to ask, or he may have just come in from playtime and the teacher may have refused because the children should have gone then - it is disruptive to keep having children go to the toilet during class. However, he is only 5 and so he should really have been given permission to go when he asked. As a trainee teacher I would have let him, but also pointed out that he must remember to go at break times to help him not need to go so much in class.

It is always best to get both sides and then to decide whether or not to take any further action.

I had an incident with a pupil who just never asked to go and had an accident - bless her! She was really upset, but we dealt with it and never got cross with her.

The teacher was probably afraid that you may have gone in to have a go at her, hence her not coming out!

frenchconnection200

Good points kellogs. 5 year olds can be very noisy and it may be that he didn't shout up or wasn't heard.

funky-footprints

Id just approach the teacher and ask.

mikeywills

Well it was my intention to ask her, what were the reasons for refusing him to go to the toilet. Unfortunately my natural expressions and body language can come across a bit aggressive. People often tell me to cheer up it might not happen, when inside I am as happy as a pig in ****.

Think I may approach the parent governor, first thanks french connection200.

emilyt

When both my DD'S were that age if they wanted to go to the toilet they just went. The toilet was situated just off the classroom and at the other side was the nursery school. I would definately voice my concerns and talk to someone about it. I personally would speak to the teacher in question. Other than that speak to the head teacher.If his sister is in the same school then you could always speak to her teacher.

hobo28

I would agree with those who say speak to the teacher first. There could be a perfectly logical explanation. Going in all guns blazing and/or getting governor's involved is way too OTT at this stage.

Remember the teacher has 30 kids to deal with day in day out. I can't think of any reason why a teacher would say "No" on purpose. After all, they have to deal with the aftermath.

At the end of the day, he/she made a mistake. Its not a big deal and teachers are human too.

Zziggi

My DS is in the reception class. All the kids in reception are allowed to go to toilet whenever they need to go although they are encouraged to go at break & dinnertime. Obviously if they are always going off to the toilet and they don't have a medical reason to need to go, then they are quizzed a bit more firmly by the class teacher, but certainally in the reception class, they are still allowed to go.

P.S. i always put a spare pair of school trousers, pants & 1 large nappy in the bottom of DS's P.E. kit and have told the teacher this is where they are as DS still has 'accidents'.

It does sound a bit odd and harsh if a teacher doesn't allow a 5 year old to go to the toilet.

Mrs_Optimist

was picking my DD up from school yesterday (shes 8) and someone in her class had wet herself because the teacher had asked her to hold on and she couldn't. She was in floods of tears and of course all the children were laughing at her,,,, that will stay with that poor little girl for a while. I would be FURIOUS if it had been my DD, when you need to go you need to go, especially in this cold weather.

loveandlight

Originally posted by Mrs Optimist
was picking my DD up from school yesterday (shes 8) and someone in her class had wet herself because the teacher had asked her to hold on and she couldn't. She was in floods of tears and of course all the children were laughing at her,,,, that will stay with that poor little girl for a while. I would be FURIOUS if it had been my DD, when you need to go you need to go, especially in this cold weather.

The same thing happened to my son a couple of years ago when he was 8. It was Wintertime and when I picked him up from school he was wearing shorts and no socks. You could tell from his face that he'd been crying as his eyes were red and swollen. Turns out he had asked his teacher TWICE if he could go to the toilet and she said no. So he accidentally wet himself. He'd never ever wet himself before and the class laughed at him. He crouched himself up on the floor in the foetal position crying with humiliation. I spoke to his teacher but (as usual) they couldn't care less. :mad: I really do believe now after other things that have also happened that some teachers just don't like their jobs or the children they teach.