how would you tell a friend/work colleague she smelt of BO??

celebrate

I work in a gp surgery and one of our trainee's has a really bad body odour problem. It is so overbearing I feel embarrassed for her. She is a friend as well as a colleague but we are not that close. She is having some problems with her performance as well and I don't want her to feel that I am getting at her.

Her trainer is one of my partners-should I have a word with him or her directly? How would you bring up the subject?

balletshoes

If you consider her a friend, you should have a quiet word with her - don't mention her performance at all in the same conversation. She may not be aware of her BO problem, so a quiet concerned word from someone she may consider a friend too would be the best way I think.

Rockporkchop

Can't you throw a few of your Lloyds bargains her way?!

There_Goes_Trouble

I would speak to her directly, she's going to be mortified and it'll be worse if she thinks 'people' are all talking about her behind her back.

I think that you just have to be honest and tell her that you've noticed recently she's been suffering from an a bit of body odour and just thought you'd mention it as it's always harder to smell it on yourself (which I don't actually think is true, I can always smell myself if I'm bad but it gives her an excuse!!) and you don't want her to have the embarrassment of someone else noticing.

It may be that she has a problem with sweating, I am allergic to anti-persperant and so do find that I have to be careful with the clothes I wear. This time of year is difficult because the weather is changeable, eg today was 0 degrees when I left home so I piled the layers on (I work outdoors), but then it got up to 10 deg by lunch and I was sweating in all my layers! Luckily I wear a uniform at work so I can keep some body wipes and a spare polo shirt in the car and if I need to change no one would notice. I often 'freshen up' and change at lunch time. I am however very honest at work and do ask my colleagues to let me know if I get bad and haven't noticed! I would always rather be told and have the opportunity to sort myself out, than get home and realise as I pulled my top over my head just how bad I'd got..... no one's ever said anything yet but then I am very aware of it and keep a check on myself!!!

FelinePrincess

I would say a quiet friendly word is the best way to go, chances are she is blissfully unaware. Maybe empathise and give her a couple of tips, eg "I used to get quite sweaty myself but I found such and such deodorant really helped and I always carry some wipes and deodorant with me just incase" - even if it's completely untrue she will probably feel a bit better about it if it's approached like that

twi1ight

If someone sweats a lot then it can get into their clothes in the underarm area and sort if build up. Then, it just takes a bit of warmth to start smelling. This could be part of the problem but I'm not sure how to broach the subject. Perhaps go along the line of talking as if it's you and telling them how you have to keep replacing clothes and can't work out how else to prevent the problem.

BitterAndTwisted

No beating about the bush. Just take her somewhere private and tell her that you've noticed it lately and wonder if there's anything you can do to help. She'll be mortified but it's got to be done.

pixelation

You may like to suggest she wears more cotton and natural fibres. Artificial fibres + sweaty pits = BO.

*max*

There is no "nice" way to go about it I'm afraid. Depending on her personality, she will be midly or awfully embarrassed about being told, but maybe you could use the fact you are working in a medical environment?
Are you a GP or a nurse? If so, I would approach it "professionally", ie: "Listen, I know it's a very delicate subject, but there's no reason to be embarrassed about it, it's just nature! I've noticed you've been a bit smelly lately. Don't worry, I've seen MUCH MUCH worse, but I know I'd rather be told. Have you changed deodorant/shower gel? Because I know some people can get a reaction to different brands..."

That kind of thing. Again, there's no perfect way to go about it, but I know I'd rather someone told me!

ailuro2

I'd take the coward's way out and leave a Mitchum roll and a bar of Imperial Leather Active soap in her handbag or coat pocket when she wasn't looking...:o

JCP

There is no easy way to say it unfortunately - I think you just need to say it straight out.

I had to do this with one of the guys that worked for me a few years ago, and it wasn't nice, but very necessary.
It was horrible to have to say it to a 40yr old man, but he took it surprisingly well and was in fact quite grateful in the end.