16 and pregnant help....

StrongWork

melbi_uk wrote: »

How do you know the parents of the unborn child won't leave school with good qualifications - set up home when they have found employment and go on to have a successful life together as a family?

Delightful optimism. Based on statistics we know that it is unlikely - not to say impossible.

(I'm surprised you haven't suggested a sick note yet.)

melbi_uk wrote: »

The only thing that I'd be concerned at at this stage is the girls ability to finish her education (including further education) although this can be done if she has the support of both families.

Utterly and totally agreed. THUS:

And given at 16 (about to sit GCSEs or now starting AS levels) the most sensible, practical solution would be a termination. This is a MASSIVE burden and one that can lead to huge economical, mental and physical pressures at a very important time in this girl's life.

melbi_uk wrote: »

Why shouldn't the unborn child have a chance in life?

One has to look at the bigger picture, realistically.

I know for some posters on this forum, people manage on a diet of rainbow pies and sunshine lemonade, but let's be honest, in real life that's not the case.

In the above situation, unless you have genuinely sat down, both 16 year olds together, along with mum/dad on both sides and properly discussed the possibility of a termination, then it is utterly foolish on their part. To suddenly proclaim the suggestion of such as evil/bad/outrageous without proper formal discussion is simply ludicrous.

If the discussion concludes that there is potential for good decent support (both financial and emotional), knock yourselves out. But to blindly jump in without proper sensible consideration is foolhardy.

dseventy

StrongWork wrote: »

Delightful optimism. Based on statistics we know that it is unlikely - not to say impossible.

(I'm surprised you haven't suggested a sick note yet.)



Utterly and totally agreed. THUS:

And given at 16 (about to sit GCSEs or now starting AS levels) the most sensible, practical solution would be a termination. This is a MASSIVE burden and one that can lead to huge economical, mental and physical pressures at a very important time in this girl's life.



One has to look at the bigger picture, realistically.

I know for some posters on this forum, people manage on a diet of rainbow pies and sunshine lemonade, but let's be honest, in real life that's not the case.

In the above situation, unless you have genuinely sat down, both 16 year olds together, along with mum/dad on both sides and properly discussed the possibility of a termination, then it is utterly foolish on their part. To suddenly proclaim the suggestion of such as evil/bad/outrageous without proper formal discussion is simply ludicrous.

If the discussion concludes that there is potential for good decent support (both financial and emotional), knock yourselves out. But to blindly jump in without proper sensible consideration is foolhardy.

Whilst I don't agree with the tone of the post (or the picture of a coat hanger- come on), I agree that a termination should at least be an option.

She is not the first and won't be the last.

D70

Zoetoes

StrongWork wrote: »

Delightful optimism. Based on statistics we know that it is unlikely - not to say impossible.

(I'm surprised you haven't suggested a sick note yet.)



Utterly and totally agreed. THUS:

And given at 16 (about to sit GCSEs or now starting AS levels) the most sensible, practical solution would be a termination. This is a MASSIVE burden and one that can lead to huge economical, mental and physical pressures at a very important time in this girl's life.



One has to look at the bigger picture, realistically.

I know for some posters on this forum, people manage on a diet of rainbow pies and sunshine lemonade, but let's be honest, in real life that's not the case.

In the above situation, unless you have genuinely sat down, both 16 year olds together, along with mum/dad on both sides and properly discussed the possibility of a termination, then it is utterly foolish on their part. To suddenly proclaim the suggestion of such as evil/bad/outrageous without proper formal discussion is simply ludicrous.

If the discussion concludes that there is potential for good decent support (both financial and emotional), knock yourselves out. But to blindly jump in without proper sensible consideration is foolhardy.

I'm assuming by the original post that the decision has already been made to keep the baby.

At 16 they may have already left school?

melbi_uk

How do you know the parents haven't sat down with both parents to be and discussed all the options?

Are you judging the girl on the fact her mother claims benefits? Do you know why her mother is on benefits or are you just stereotyping?

globalds

HappyMJ wrote: »

So what who cares...Benefits pay quite reasonably so what decent standard are you talking about? The child will be housed, kept warm, clothed and fed. What else do you want?

A role model.

Torry_Quine

StrongWork wrote: »

And given at 16 (about to sit GCSEs or now starting AS levels) the most sensible, practical solution would be a termination. This is a MASSIVE burden and one that can lead to huge economical, mental and physical pressures at a very important time in this girl's life.



One has to look at the bigger picture, realistically.

I know for some posters on this forum, people manage on a diet of rainbow pies and sunshine lemonade, but let's be honest, in real life that's not the case.

In the above situation, unless you have genuinely sat down, both 16 year olds together, along with mum/dad on both sides and properly discussed the possibility of a termination, then it is utterly foolish on their part. To suddenly proclaim the suggestion of such as evil/bad/outrageous without proper formal discussion is simply ludicrous.

If the discussion concludes that there is potential for good decent support (both financial and emotional), knock yourselves out. But to blindly jump in without proper sensible consideration is foolhardy.

To say that a termination is the most sensible practical solution is not necessarily so. If they don't want to consider a termination that is their right. The two parents of the unborn baby need to discuss what they want to do but although they may want to involve their parents it really is not their decision to make.

Fiddlestick

mande74 wrote: »

cant believe some people would even suggest an abortion by putting up the coat hanger sign how would u feel saying that about yr child or yr mother saying that about u

I would feel perfectly fine - a foetus != a child.

Both myself and my partner have discussed this in depth (as should any couple who are engaged in a sexual relationship) and we are both agreed that we do not have the financial or physical resources to bring a child into the world right now.

Consequently if my partner fell pregnant, we would both have no hesitation in arranging a termination.

I complely agree the coathanger image was a step too far, although it must be said it was another poster that displayed it, not me.

Look at the practical advice that everyone else has given on the thread so far - a child of 16 (which is what they are, a child - not an adult) really needs to be focusing on their future and making the right decisions about what sort of education or career would best suit the type of life that they plan on leading.

If the prospective parents and grandparents haven't sat down and seriously discussed the potential of a termination then it's something that they really should consider doing before they dismiss the suggestion out of hand.

Torry_Quine

Fiddlestick wrote: »

I would feel perfectly fine - a foetus != a child.

Both myself and my partner have discussed this in depth (as should any couple who are engaged in a sexual relationship) and we are both agreed that we do not have the financial or physical resources to bring a child into the world right now.

Consequently if my partner fell pregnant, we would both have no hesitation in arranging a termination.

I complely agree the coathanger image was a step too far, although it must be said it was another poster that displayed it, not me.

Look at the practical advice that everyone else has given on the thread so far - a child of 16 (which is what they are, a child - not an adult) really needs to be focusing on their future and making the right decisions about what sort of education or career would best suit the type of life that they plan on leading.

If the prospective parents and grandparents haven't sat down and seriously discussed the potential of a termination then it's something that they really should consider doing before they dismiss the suggestion out of hand.

The parents (no prospective needed) may well have sat down and discussed this with or without the grandparents who do not need to be consulted. A termination may be what is appropriate for you but that doesn't necessarily make it right for everyone. We only know a very little about the situation so it's not always a good idea to extrapolate too much.

Zoetoes

I do agree that the situation needs to be looked at from every angle before a decision is made but I'm assuming from the original post that it already has been.

Caroline_a

I will keep my opinions regarding the termination issue to myself, but I just wanted to say how sad it is that in this day and age we still have young teenagers getting pregnant when there is so much education regarding contraceptives. As some have said, this is going to have a lasting effect on their lives, and nothing will ever be the same for them again. The nephew will have a financial committment that he will have to deal with, whether he stays with the girl or not, and the girl will find that she will suddenly have to take responsibility for another human being.

What do we have to do to persuade these young girls that if you want a baby, at least finish school first!