Upsetting comments on another board - but are they right

londoner1998

mrsdumplin wrote: »

ok, so we are in debt up to our eyeballs and beyond.

Instead of burrying our heads in sand we have done something relatively responsible and are entering a DMP in an effort to get back on track.

Our estimated date of repayment is some time in 10 years although I will do my darndest to make sure it doesnt take that long.

Anyhow, we have cut back everthing, we dont go out, no pub, no meals out, no cinema, didnt even do valentines day cards this year. but I have hung on to our sky...we were paying £72 a month, I called them up and explained the situation that I was entering a DMP and couldnt justify this level expenditure any longer, two phone calls later it was down to £46 a month. Cheaper than going to the cinema twice a month...

I posted my success on another board and recieved these comments.

"Why not cancel and use the £46 a month to pay off the debts that have made you need a DMP in the first place?! Sky is a luxury not a neccessity.

In a DMP ...AND YOU CAN STILL AFFORD £46 pm FOR SKY

but are they right?... I've done the check and £46 wouldnlt decrease the term much, or have I still got my head in the sand !

MrsD

Oh OP, I can understand you feel hurt- about two weeks ago I posted on another board as well about being really down: my job is on the line, argument with OH, exhaustion though job seeking, studies, work... only for two people to start posting judgemental and very harsh comments about my being lucky that my OH 'tolerates' me, that I am abusing my OH and a lot of lot other very misinformed and insensitive, comments, dissecting my relationship based on a couple of posts and taking these out of context. If I was feeling low, that put the nail on the coffin. I was asking for advice and venting, yet I came away feeling attacked and virtually spat on the face by these two people.

On the other hand, I had many other very helpful and also honest comments with constructive criticisim and I refelected on these, trying to be fair to my OH from an informed point of view. There is line between constructive criticism and patronising judgemental attitudes.

But these ar eopen orum and we get exposed to it when we post- I woudl advise you to take with you what helps you (not necessarily what we like to listen to), and take one step at a time. Learning to manage money in different ways takes time and everyone is different. YOu make your own decisions, because after all nobody knows what you priorities and needs are. Don't think too much about it and DO congratulate yourself about your progress.

As and when you feel ready, I am sure you will consider the Sky bill again.

Just try not be dragged down by comments that come out as too critical...

vicxzy

Mrs D just stick to these boards, I learnt that the hard way! Im pregnant & when I said I couldnt stop crying long enough to speak to a debt advisor on the phone the owner on another forum told me to 'grow up & take responsibility' & to pull myself together etc!
They are the ones who need to grow up if bullying strangers is all they have to look forward too. xxx

Nottoobadyet

d123 wrote: »

if you can do all that on less than £50 a month can you also feed 5000 people on 2 fish?

One night out with a taxi home won't leave much change from £50 these days, and theatre tickets? Really?

No, but I was trying to illustrate that people use their entertainment money in different ways. I thought I made that quite clear in the second paragraph, if you read that far.

I regularly get standing theater tickets in the £5-10 range, go to universities and churches that put on free music and honestly cant remember the last time I took a taxi anywhere, so yes, a £50 entertainment budget could get me quite far.

immoral_angeluk

Opinion as a DFW:
Sky is non essential and would be one of the first things I got rid of if I was out of contract to free up money to pay my debts as far as possible.

Opinion as a money advisor:
Sky is a non essential and most creditors will not accept it as part of your financial statement, BUT... the fact is if you are not spending money elsewhere and your only way of staying sane is by having it, then I would recommend trying to cut the cost down as much as possible, but to keep it if it's your only luxury. Debt and mental health problems go hand in hand and if your only relaxation and pleasure at the minute is by watching tv/movies etc on sky, then I'd say it's a worthwhile sacrifice if you are unable to access freeview/freesat.

People have varying opinions, same with people who are up to their eyeballs in debt who smoke. "Just stop smoking!!" they say. Fair enough, but who's tried stopping smoking when stressed/depressed/anxious?

Only you can make that choice at the end of the day. Don't let anyone else bully you into decisions which will inevitably make you miserable.

beanielou

The cheapest sky package is £19.50.
Worth a thought at the end of the 6 months?

ms_london

I think it really depends on your circumstances, but if you have no other luxuries at all and sky is your only one, then why the hell not hang onto it? Some people pay that for sky, but still go out all the time, have a gym membership etc etc etc - if it keeps you sane, keep it. xx

anyusernameleft

Wow, Sky. I don't even have TV, can't afford a roof ariel installation, though I pay the licence because of the major harassment if I don't. TV is not that important really. My CRT set is about 30 years old and I watch DVD's on it sometimes.
Honestly. Sky isn't that great. Get Freeview. It doesn't work in my area (Central London) but some people do very well with it and after the set up costs it's free. It's only TV you know.

FTW

mrsdumplin wrote: »

ok, so we are in debt up to our eyeballs and beyond.

Instead of burrying our heads in sand we have done something relatively responsible and are entering a DMP in an effort to get back on track.

Our estimated date of repayment is some time in 10 years although I will do my darndest to make sure it doesnt take that long.

Anyhow, we have cut back everthing, we dont go out, no pub, no meals out, no cinema, didnt even do valentines day cards this year. but I have hung on to our sky...we were paying £72 a month, I called them up and explained the situation that I was entering a DMP and couldnt justify this level expenditure any longer, two phone calls later it was down to £46 a month. Cheaper than going to the cinema twice a month...

I posted my success on another board and recieved these comments.

"Why not cancel and use the £46 a month to pay off the debts that have made you need a DMP in the first place?! Sky is a luxury not a neccessity.

In a DMP ...AND YOU CAN STILL AFFORD £46 pm FOR SKY

but are they right?... I've done the check and £46 wouldnlt decrease the term much, or have I still got my head in the sand !

MrsD

You decide what's best for you, and you decide what rate to pay back at and what's feasible and what's not - someone else doesn't have to live your shoes.

Ignore the baiting and the criticism, and the lecturing on what you should cut out. It's not up to them to tell you.

nat21luv

How about getting freeview then the £46 you've saved can be split-£20 towards debt(£240 a year closer to paying off) and the other £26 can go on real entertainment for a few nights in a month? Best of both worlds I say!

winner12

Got rid of Sky when i had my LBM last year I liked films which were Saturday night entertainment
But now I borrow DVDs from family and friends so dont miss it
The rest of the week Sky is no different to Freeview