Ensuring my children are looked after

babyemily

Good morning,
I was hoping someone on here could offer some advice please? I have 3 children, 2 of them have special needs including autism. I have no family as such except my husband. My husband is not the childrens biological father but we have been together a very long time. Their biological father is not allowed near them in fact he is not even allowed to know where they are due to his violence. I have reached a certain milestone age and its made me think of my mortality, I know its a tad morbid but this is something that needs sorting for my piece of mind.
As my husband has no legal rights I would like to make it clear that IF anything happened to me then my wishes are they would stay with him as he is such a good dad to them. Also I would like to state that IF something happened to both of us then I would like them to live with 2 friends of mine. They are wonderful people who are in the medical profession and who are brilliant at dealing with special needs.
The thing is I dont know how to do this? Would anyone on here know what I could do please?
I am not planning on going anywhere soon I just feel it is best to have this covered.
Thank you.

carolpinkdreamer

As soon as anyone has children they should write a will to ensure that their children are properly looked after if anything happens. We wrote ours many years ago and have peace of mind since x

onetomany

can ur partner atopt them?

flutterby_lil

Hello. I was in a similar position, except my son's bioligical father died on my son's first birthday - I am with somebody else who wants to adopt him. Have you and your partner considered the adoption route or maybe PR?

I wanted piece of mind to so have written a will stating what I would like to happen to my son if anything happens to me before the adoption is complete. That way I do not need to worry.

Good luck.

babyemily

No We have looked at this before and SS made it very clear that they would have to involve ALL family members including my exes also he would be consulted if they could find him, after much debate we decided this was not for us as our children are happy now and we feel no need to have these people notified of anything.

McKneff

You cannot 'will' your children, it would have to be a court case if the biological father so wished. It would be up to a court to decide.

Your wishes dont come into it when it comes to offspring.

flutterby_lil

McKneff, why not? I went to a solicitor who did my will and never said anything like that.

heretolearn_2

What you want is to set up a guardianship. This is a good link
http://www.lawandparents.co.uk/legal-guardianship-this-possible.html

It is possible for the father to challenge this in court if you died, but the chances of his winning are zilch as they look at the child's interests. An absent violent father isn't going to get the kids off a loving stable father figure who has raised them and has guardianship.

Mojisola

McKneff wrote: »

You cannot 'will' your children, it would have to be a court case if the biological father so wished. It would be up to a court to decide.

Your wishes dont come into it when it comes to offspring.

Your children aren't your possessions and you can't "give" them to other people.

You can express your hopes that certain things will happen but no-one is obligated to abide by them.

McKneff

flutterby_lil wrote: »

McKneff, why not? I went to a solicitor who did my will and never said anything like that.

Becasue they are human beings, you can only will goods and chattels, your solicitor, mmmm, well that does surprise me, was your request within your will. He/she should have, its really basic law.

babyemily

Mojisola wrote: »

Your children aren't your possessions and you can't "give" them to other people.

You can express your hopes that certain things will happen but no-one is obligated to abide by them.

I do not think of my children as possessions and have no plans to give them to anyone I just want my wishes explicitly known in case anything ever did happen to me