do your brothers and sisters help out with children?

skintchick

I'm not saying you should 'have' someone else's children, just that I think you should have decent relationships with people in your own family.

It's like I'm sure you would expect your family to at least try and have a good relationship with your partner. Would you not be hurt if they didn;t, and instead said 'well i don;t like men/women'? It's such a generalisation to reject a whole section of the community and refuse to engage with them. And if you take that a step further and make it Asians/black people/gay people it enters the realms of deeply unacceptable.

I simply think it is slefish to refuse to engage with a person because of a group they belong to (in this case the group is under-18s).

And as for me being ill - I am having a miscarriage. I am posting today to distract myself a bit, I usually don;t post that much any more.

and I don;t mean to upset you or challenge you personally so please don;t take it that way at all, you are interesting to debate with.

Any

I am so sorry to hear that! My sister had one between my niece 1 and 2 too, I obviously don't know your medical details but often it is just one of those things..sometimes it happens. My sis had niece 2 one year after. It does not make it any easier to deal with the greaf I know..

I think you took it to extremes. Very extreme. How did we get to racism argument?
I don't think anyone is saying they don't want to have any kind of relationship at all. It will always be at least as good as the one with your sibling. They come as part of them at the end of the day. But the argument here is where parents expect automatically it is their siblings duty to take care of their children, even on add hoc basis. One has to respect their life as well.
More often then not the relationship forms as the children grow as well.
However if your siblings live miles away or you don't have very close relationship as it is then hardly you can expect that to change with your children.

MoneySavingMamma

suki1964 wrote: »

You know there is nothing worse for me then to try to read a post from someone who is trying to sound so intellectual, yet doesnt know the difference between a ' and a ;

Makes a total mockery of their post.

You complete idiot!

What a stupid and useless post!!

Have you not read what Skintchick is going through right now, at the time of posting??!!

How dare you, I'm very angry & think you should be ashamed of yourself!!!!:mad::mad::mad:

onlyroz

I rather suddenly found myself an "auntie" at age 21, when I met my husband's nieces for the first time. The first thing they said to me (considering they were age 6 and 7 at the time) was "when are we going to get a cousin?" At that time, and at that age I found myself pretty much unable to relate to my nieces in any way. They're now age 17 and 18, and I still have trouble knowing what on earth to say to them. As for being asked to babysit - I think I would have been completely out of my depth. However, the youngest niece did come up trumps for us, one time, when I was in hospital and we needed someone to look after our youngest for a day. For that I am grateful, but I would never have *expected* her, or anybody else in the family to have looked after him.

Gavin83

I never want kids of my own but I would be happy to look after someone elses on the odd occasion. In fact Im looking after my girlfriends little sister for the night next weekend, although she's 10 so it will be a little easier than a younger child.

I don't particularly like or dislike children but I don't think it's fair to expect a childless couple to look after your children or find them as exciting as you do. They're childless for a reason after all.

LilacPixie

My sister sometimes has my oldest 2 nothing expected or demanded but a friend of hers has a little girl of a similar age so sometimes she 'borrows' my girls and meets her friend in a soft play place. She also had them over night while I was having baby number 3. I am of the opinion that I trust her with my girls so if she wants to spend the day with them then all she has to do is phone and ask if they are free, if they are then fine if not then another time... you wouldn't believe the social life a 4 year old has...

PasturesNew

I've got no nieces/nephews. Nor will I ever have any.
There have never been kids in our family - my cousins were the same age as me and we never mixed with them much and I haven't even seen them for 30 years or so. Used to see them a maximum of 1-2x a year really, at Nan's. Not seen any of them since the day of her funeral... and they weren't all there even then.

Zara77

I have not read through every single post but thought i would add my own experience. I dont want children at all what so ever but really enjoy my nieces and nephew. So much so that their parents are happy for to oversee their academic careers. Its a bit like parenting light. I see them weekly and at weekends. I even take them on holidays. They really are amazing children, well behaved, caring,funny and loving. They all are very charitable and kind. They do have there 'moments' but honestly they are so few and far between.
I understand that most families have different dynamics but we all get along, so it works. Our theory is everyone plays to their strengths. Im quite clued up about education/money but others are better with cooking/computer etc.
We are literally always around at each others so we take a pragmatic approach and we enjoy each other company.
Though we loath our extended family, so we really only have each other.
I really hope that the children, as they grow older have a similar relationship with each other. But who knows what will happen once they go off to uni/travelling/partners.
Its funny i have friends who never see their siblings and have demi-adopted Auntships! It is nice and i guess im very lucky. But prospect of having my own, is one that i just could not do. I dont see the point but do understand that mine is not a view commonly held. In fact most people are shocked that i dont want children because of the way i am with my nieces/nephew. I enjoy taking them to Art Galleries,Museums and doing off beat things with them-things their parent would not like at all.
(Actually heres a tip for a great activity to do with kids-really messy.
Buy some cheap wall lining paper from any diy store. Buy some cheap children's paint- spread out huge chunks of the paper in a garden and let them paint-with their foots/hands. This even works for older kids because they dont 'do' those types of things. Great fun.)
Whatever your situation life will throw all kinds of curve balls and we all manage the best way be can.

*max*

MoneySavingMamma wrote: »

You complete idiot!

What a stupid and useless post!!

Have you not read what Skintchick is going through right now, at the time of posting??!!

How dare you, I'm very angry & think you should be ashamed of yourself!!!!:mad::mad::mad:

Errmmm...to be fair here, there was no mention of Skintchick going through anything at the time that person posted (that I noticed). It may not have been very nice, but I don't see how it was personal? Calm down.

euronorris

skintchick wrote: »

And as for me being ill - I am having a miscarriage. I am posting today to distract myself a bit, I usually don;t post that much any more.

I'm so sorry to hear this skint. Huge, yet gentle, ((HUGS)) from me. :grouphug::grouphug: