do your brothers and sisters help out with children?

scooby088

Sod that if my sister ever had kids then i'd say NO NO NO..I dont want kids of my own and being round other peoples kids really hammers it home that i don't want any kids of my own. Even though my OH has kids and i love them dearly having my own will never be a priority, just glad my OH can't have anymore.

What is it the single childless family member seem to be asked to babysit, spend time with either siblings child or friends child? I for one want to spend as much time away from other peoples kids as i can.

pigpen

scooby088 wrote: »

Sod that if my sister ever had kids then i'd say NO NO NO..I dont want kids of my own and being round other peoples kids really hammers it home that i don't want any kids of my own. Even though my OH has kids and i love them dearly having my own will never be a priority, just glad my OH can't have anymore.

What is it the single childless family member seem to be asked to babysit, spend time with either siblings child or friends child? I for one want to spend as much time away from other peoples kids as i can.

Same here and I do have children.. I can't abide other peoples children. I collect my children from school a few minutes late every day so I can avoid most of the alien children at school and their parents...

Any

scooby088 wrote: »

What is it the single childless family member seem to be asked to babysit, spend time with either siblings child or friends child? I for one want to spend as much time away from other peoples kids as i can.

I am not even single and I do, lol!!! I have to screen out what my other half thinks about it, because I am not sure my sister would ever speak to us again if she heard him.

I don't mind kids in short periods of time, but longer term I find them boring (sorry to all parents around) as they don't do or say much of interest to an adult (2 and 6). I just have no idea what to do with them. Evenings are best (dinner, bath, fairy tale), however then there is that when they go to bed you have to spend 5 hours on someone elses sofa waiting for them to turn up, and my BIL is such a sting that they don't even have any proper channels lol (believe me they can afford it).

And is it just my family, or do other people have the experience they kind of loose their name as well? My name is now Aunty Any, and that is how my sister calls me even in a text messages to me! Actually, most of the time just Aunty.

horseykitty

I think it's a sad indicator of the type of society we live in where grandparents and other members of the extended family never offer to babysit and feel that if they were asked it would somehow be some great enormous sacrifice that they would have to make to do so.

Obviously no one wants to be used or taken advantage of re babysitting but surely being part of a family is all about helping each other out? My DD is nearly three and she is looked after by her brothers on the days that I work - I fit the days I want to work around their uni days off. This means that they have an incredibly close relationship with her, I don't have to pay a childminder and they get to live rent/bills free at home. A win/win situation.

red_devil

we used to see oh nephew and neice and take them out we really enjoyed it and they did too. Then there was a right royal family bust up and it stopped. Havent seen them now for years. Their child years have gone now sadly.

Any

horseykitty wrote: »

I think it's a sad indicator of the type of society we live in where grandparents and other members of the extended family never offer to babysit and feel that if they were asked it would somehow be some great enormous sacrifice that they would have to make to do so.

Obviously no one wants to be used or taken advantage of re babysitting but surely being part of a family is all about helping each other out? My DD is nearly three and she is looked after by her brothers on the days that I work - I fit the days I want to work around their uni days off. This means that they have an incredibly close relationship with her, I don't have to pay a childminder and they get to live rent/bills free at home. A win/win situation.

We don't pick our family.
Have you read any threads around here re family arguments?
And that has nothing to do with the society we now live in, family thrifts go on for ages. Just because someone is a family doesn't mean they are are automaticaly extended part of you/your spare parts or time (IYKWIM). They are human being just like any other person, you need to build relationship with them and respect them/they must respect you. And you expecting them to babysit for you/look after your children is none of this.

The "family" argument is just great excuse/guilt trip that people who need to justify the need to use other people use instead of "can you do me a favour please".

The fact is that some people like children and some people don't. I don't. I babysit for my sister because I love her, but I haven't chosen to have her children and I was not consulted in any way whether once they are born I am willing to change my lifestyle. So the respect there is do not expect it, ask me nicely and give me notice. Not send me on guilt trip when I cannot oblige.
I also don't understand why would someone think that when someone close to you have a kid it will automatically alter your opinion about kids.

euronorris

Any wrote: »

And is it just my family, or do other people have the experience they kind of loose their name as well? My name is now Aunty Any, and that is how my sister calls me even in a text messages to me! Actually, most of the time just Aunty.

Well, my neices and nephew call me Aunty Euro, mostly but I don't mind. The eldest two are starting to just call me Euro now. They are 11 and 9, but both soon to be 12 and 10. And I can remember, when I was still living at home, being woken up numerous times at weekends by my them knocking on my bedroom door and shouting 'wakey, wakey aunty euro!'. That I wasn't too pleased about, especially as my Mum encouraged it!

However, the rest of my family will only refer to me as aunty euro in front of the kids. Otherwise, I'm just Euro, same as I always was. Not sure why your sister calls you aunty......maybe she thinks that you would like it, because maybe she would if the roles were reversed. Either way, I'd just have a quiet word with her and remind her that you are way more than just an aunty and ask her to call you by your name.

Any

I have tried Euro, trust me.
My nieces call me aunty, that is normal though in my eyes, I am not complaining about that.

It's not just me, she does it to other people as well. But then she also calls her husband "daddy" even when on the night out.. So I am not taking it personaly.

euronorris

Any wrote: »

I have tried Euro, trust me.
My nieces call me aunty, that is normal though in my eyes, I am not complaining about that.

It's not just me, she does it to other people as well. But then she also calls her husband "daddy" even when on the night out.. So I am not taking it personaly.

What does she say when you ask her to call you by your name?

Sorry, I find it a little odd that she does this, and to everyone too. And calling hubby 'daddy' freaks me out a little. I know some people like that stuff, but I already have a dad and I don't wanna think about him whilst having fun with the OH! lol

Having said that, maybe she was always really looking forward to having a family of her own and couldn't wait for the time when she would be called mummy, there would be a daddy, and you would be aunty and so on, so perhaps she's reluctant to let go of the titles now.

Any

I usually say like "I've got a name" when she calls me and she just ignores it basically.
I have said also once before now "could you call me by my name again please" and that got ignored. Just change of subject.

I find it freaky too when she calls her hubby daddy, believe you me. But now I kind of got used to it. She calls him by his name when she is cross with him. I think she finds it cute and maybe in a way it is sign of being close for her.