no house but baby must have everything new

TrickyDicky101

twirlypinky wrote: »

I get the OPs point here. My other half and i are getting married fairly soon and his parents keep offering to pay for things we're not having. For example, a photographer. We don't want one, we really don't. If we really wanted one then we would pay for one, it's not that we can't afford it, it's that we're choosing to spend our money on other things, especially as we're also trying to save a house deposit. If they really want to spend their money on us, we'd rather have help with our marital home that we'll live in for the next x number of years, not ONE DAY. But ho hum, you can't really say that can you? sounds terribly ungrateful!

That's rather a refreshing attitude! When my wife and I got married we did everything on the very cheap because we - rightly I believe - wanted to save for a deposit for our first house (we were living with her mother at the time).

I am blown away at the number of times I've seen posters complain about either being in negative equity or having a high % LTV and not being able to refinance their mortgage elsewhere as a consequence but still planning to spend £20k+ on their wedding that year.

Christyt

Ebay, Gumtree and NCT Nearly New Sales have saved me a fortune with my little one. NCT sales are especially good for newborn and up to 1 year old stuff because people sell stuff brand news - presents they never used etc - for around 1/5 of price usually. So you don't even have to feel bad about buying second hand stuff half the time.

POPPYOSCAR

TrickyDicky101 wrote: »

That's rather a refreshing attitude! When my wife and I got married we did everything on the very cheap because we - rightly I believe - wanted to save for a deposit for our first house (we were living with her mother at the time).

I am blown away at the number of times I've seen posters complain about either being in negative equity or having a high % LTV and not being able to refinance their mortgage elsewhere as a consequence but still planning to spend £20k+ on their wedding that year.

But if they don't want to sell their flat and buy a house to be nearer to the parents and choose to spend the money on having new for their baby instead then that is their choice.


When I had my kids I had as cheap as possible but that was my choice.

twirlypinky

I can't get over that either. Our wedding is costing us £3.2k all in, including the honeymoon spending money and to be honest with you thats more than i wanted to spend when we're saving to move house - but it's something we both really want, it's our money and our choice, we have no debts we're ignoring in order to do this. Once we get back from Rhodes (wedding venue) we're putting everything we have into moving house, there will be no more holidays until we've moved, there will be no big christmas (not that we spend much anyway). We will be frugal!

twirlypinky

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

But if they don't want to sell their flat and buy a house to be nearer to the parents and choose to spend the money on having new for their baby instead then that is their choice.


When I had my kids I had as cheap as possible but that was my choice.

I was looknig through the classifieds earlier this week, looking to see what prices things were going for (I'm weighing up the effort of a boot fair against the ease of classifieds) and saw reams and reams of "nearly new" and "good as new" baby clothes and items, i'm stunned at how many people buy new to be honest. I know people want everything perfect for their child, but when they're tiny they grow so quickly that they don't wear the clothes very often before they're too small anyway.

POPPYOSCAR

twirlypinky wrote: »

I was looknig through the classifieds earlier this week, looking to see what prices things were going for (I'm weighing up the effort of a boot fair against the ease of classifieds) and saw reams and reams of "nearly new" and "good as new" baby clothes and items, i'm stunned at how many people buy new to be honest. I know people want everything perfect for their child, but when they're tiny they grow so quickly that they don't wear the clothes very often before they're too small anyway.

I agree with you and have no problem with this myself but for those that want new and choose to spend their money in that way, it is for them to decide.As a family member once said to me I want to learn being a mum for myself and if I make mistakes so be it.I will listen to advice but do not want to be told that what I am doing is wrong and I should be doing it their way.

Same family member paid a small fortune for new pram, hardly used it, sold it for nearly as much as she paid for it.

Second one suitable for two bought 2nd hand(still expensive!!) looks like new.

I, like others would rather put the money to house etc. but a choice has to made and thats exactly what it is - a choice.

twirlypinky

agreed, if it's your money it's up to you what you spend it on.

TrickyDicky101

POPPYOSCAR wrote: »

But if they don't want to sell their flat and buy a house to be nearer to the parents and choose to spend the money on having new for their baby instead then that is their choice.


When I had my kids I had as cheap as possible but that was my choice.

I was making a general comment that wasn't directed at the original OP/OP's child.

supermaiden

Im currently pregnant with our first child. We rent a house, both me and husband work. We cannot afford all brand new stuff but if we could we would get it. My gran has said we have to have some new stuff so has offered to buy our pram once we find one which I very much appreciate.

Yes the money would probably be better spent going towards a deposit but sometimes you just have something else you want more, and if its their first child they will want only the best. Its totally up to them at the end of the day, its their money.

Morglin

suzie-q54 wrote: »

My son and his girlfriend are expecting their first baby and are very keen to move near to her parents for their support when the baby arrives. They cannot afford to drop the price of her flat to sell it and then buy a house nearer the parents. At the same time, the parents have already chosen the new pram and cot they want to buy even though my daughter has offered to let them borrow a cot and pram which are perfectly serviceable. Seems to me that the price of pram and cot would be a big help in the whole deposit situation. I guess everyone has different values and ideas of what is right.

One of the joys of becoming a grandparent is buying new things for the new arrival.

I guess that's the way the girlfriend's parents feel, and perhaps your son and his GF actually want new stuff for the baby.

Lin