no house but baby must have everything new

mark5

I see it that the in laws want to buy something for a newborn grandchild which they are entitled to do with their money, contributing to a house move probably wouldn't mean the same to them.

Nikel

suzie-q54 wrote: »

My son and his girlfriend are expecting their first baby and are very keen to move near to her parents for their support when the baby arrives. They cannot afford to drop the price of her flat to sell it and then buy a house nearer the parents. At the same time, the parents have already chosen the new pram and cot they want to buy even though my daughter has offered to let them borrow a cot and pram which are perfectly serviceable. Seems to me that the price of pram and cot would be a big help in the whole deposit situation. I guess everyone has different values and ideas of what is right.

They say when your son gets married you 'lose' him to the in-laws, and its the other way round when your daughter gets married....

quintwins

aliasojo wrote: »

I think the bit in bold is the relevent bit (for them at least).

I also don't think it's got anything to do with values. It's simply a young couple caught up with the excitement of their first child and wanting everything to be 'right'.

Most of us only gain the wisdom of putting 'wise' over 'want' when we get older.

this is definatly true, when i had my first i wanted everything new (even tho i had no money) and did without myself so i could get it, 2nd time round i was alot wiser and the only things that were acually new that we bought was his furniture he now has alot more than my twins did because money stretched further now

mlz1413

Is this her parents first grandchild? Many first time parents & grandparents do want to buy new, I think it gets less important once the firstborn excitment wears off.

If the in-laws want to buy new then it is saving your the parents (your son & his partner) money in the long term as they will have these to keep.

Your daughters offer may have been generous and very wise in terms of saving money, but ultimately if they have a different offer they want then be happy for them.

I always think of it from the babies point of view - they have no idea how new or old an item is nor do they any concept of its value.

mutter

Lots of soon to be parents would walk over hot coals to give their firstborn something rather nicer than 'serviceable' - I know I did! - though I agree with other posters that with the benefit of hindsight, it's not strictly necessary or particularly wise.

The OP tells us nothing whatsoever about the financial situation of the young couple in question so it's hard to comment, except to say that I doubt if the £500 or so they'll spend on these items (if it's they who are buying them) will have a lifechangingly long term impact on their property plans.

I agree that we all have different values, but it's hard to see what's so very wrong about wanting the new baby to have nice things.

digitalphase

I don't really see the point in your post either. If the other grandparents want to buy a pram and cot rather than have use of a 'perfectly serviceable one', then it's up to them/the parents of the baby.

I am expecting my first and we have bought our pram/buggy new (but got £100 off) and a brand new cot which was reduced from £100 to less than £30. Brand new doesn't have to mean expensive anyway, bargains can be had.

I can understand why the daughter would want to be nearer to her mother. I would as well, but OH's parents live a lot closer, and that's just how the situation is.

ash28

suzie-q54 wrote: »

My son and his girlfriend are expecting their first baby and are very keen to move near to her parents for their support when the baby arrives. They cannot afford to drop the price of her flat to sell it and then buy a house nearer the parents. At the same time, the parents have already chosen the new pram and cot they want to buy even though my daughter has offered to let them borrow a cot and pram which are perfectly serviceable. Seems to me that the price of pram and cot would be a big help in the whole deposit situation. I guess everyone has different values and ideas of what is right.

My parent's bought each one of their 4 children a new pram when they were expecting their first child. I'm in my 50s.

I was delighted to be do the the same for my son and his partner when they were expecting our granddaughter. I will be delighted to same for my daughters when (if) they have children.

The items your son's partner's parent's are buying will belong to them and could possibly be used for any other children they may have and what your daughter is willing to lend will not.and will have to be given back at some point.

There is no right or wrong imho, just choices and if their choice is to accept the generosity of the maternal grandparents that's exactly what it is - their choice.

I doubt very much if the money the grandparents are spending on the baby, probably £500 or £600, will make much difference regarding the flat and deposits.








I

POPPYOSCAR

I would imagine that your son's girlfriend wants a new pram etc. and that is why her parents are buying them.

I don't think we should question what other people do with their money
even if we would do things differently ourselves.

Angela_D_3

It's her first baby of course she wants new so it'll be in good condition and she can use it with the next baby.
For a start 2nd hand isn't that much cheaper any more as people are cutting back, also with new products you get a waranty which is very useful, things aren't built to last these days and my extremely expensive silver cross pram which I won in a competition (costs over a grand new) has some faults with it after 7 months, luckily they've been repaired free of charge, but buy cheap and pay twice is often the case.
Oh and another friend did buy a 2nd hand pram and the wheel fell off with the baby in it, that's not a chance i'd be willing to take with my child. She went and bought a new one to replace it.

twirlypinky

I get the OPs point here. My other half and i are getting married fairly soon and his parents keep offering to pay for things we're not having. For example, a photographer. We don't want one, we really don't. If we really wanted one then we would pay for one, it's not that we can't afford it, it's that we're choosing to spend our money on other things, especially as we're also trying to save a house deposit. If they really want to spend their money on us, we'd rather have help with our marital home that we'll live in for the next x number of years, not ONE DAY. But ho hum, you can't really say that can you? sounds terribly ungrateful!