Time to get it sorted!

grannyx2

If I had a magic wand I'd use it to send you a winning lottery ticket

life soundd hectic as usual, hope you get a little bit of time to yourself this weekend

granny x

cazmanian_minx

We're a law unto ourselves up here

debtfreewannabe321

You're doing really well carrying on through all the stresses life is throwing at you well done for the honesty and pledging to carry on! Have you thought about a dmp which whilst affecting your credit rating would also mean you could afford to stay in your home and if your dw did give up work/reduce hours it wouldn't send you over the edge (financially wise..) sorry if you've already covered this my memory is not great

grannyx2

Oh dear Mr B, don't ever be afraid of putting something in your diary. If it is worrying you, we want to hear about it, so even if we can't do anything to help, we can at least be supportive.

It's your diary and therefore should reflect your thoughts, experiences and concerns, as well as the joyous moments

Granny x

grannyx2

((((Hugs)))) I hope you get some real life support

Granny x

pennywisepoundstupid

Bonnington, Ive read your diary for a long time now and rarely post but always read everyday.

You strike me as being such a lovely caring person, that does so much for the people that are around you and yet seem to receive very little back.

You mention your wife not being well and feeling as though she cannot work, but what about you and the fact that you are carrying around all this stress and worry, I'm sorry to be blunt but who will take care of you and the bills if you become ill.

You have mentioned earlier in your diary that if you told your wife the truth that she would leave, ok well where would she go and what would she do? Would it leave you worse off ? Again I'm sorry to be blunt, but you alone have not racked up all the debt, from what I've read its all the family so wife has to take responsibility for it as well, all you have done is try to protect her from it (again your caring side coming out).

Would a DMP really be a bad thing if it means you can stay in you much loved home, that you have worked so hard to make a lovely family home. Yes it would take longer to pay off your debt and yes the family would need to know about it, but if it caused you less stress and unhappiness surely this would be better than how things are at the minute.

I'm sorry if I'm talking out of line, but I really think your such lovely man that deserves to be happy.

PWPS.x.

debtfreewannabe321

I second penny and that's what I was trying to get at, sorry may have worded it wrong...but if you went on the dmp (which DW doesn't need to know about) you can stay in your beloved home the credit rating would be down for a time (is it 6 years?) but if you really want to stay in the house long term anyway I just thought it would be a good idea. As for the dmp, i'm with SC and my budget always looks better than in real life, they are so very helpful and when we go through the budgets we always put a few extras in (one man from SC told me to do this as my car kept repeatedly breaking down but they wouldn't allow me to have more than say £40 on the budget to cover repair expenses) so we had a 'newspaper/magazine fund' which I believe was another £20 or something (sorry exact amounts escape me? ) we also had a budget for hairdressing/dentist when in reality I didn't use it as I very rarely get my hair cut by the hairdresser, i just do it myself I've added budgets for school fees (£200 a month) and all sorts. Obviously i'm not endorsing lying, but rarely does a budget stick to their format and people have all sorts of income/outgoings that will be different. I've never had a creditor question anything on there, and if you've ever read my diary you'll notice that our tenancy money gets paid but never on time. So the last time I called up to do the budget I told them I had no tenant in there it pushed up the term of repayment but it meant we didn't have to do without when she decided not to pay me. I instead topped up emergency funds/car funds etc. Sorry long post I hope it might help though? And I understand the 'having noone in real life to talk to' thing. I have a few friends that I can trust and the nearest one is 250 miles away so I often bottle it up......OR come on here and get some online support

:A

sweetpea26

Hi Bonnington

I agree 100% with penny dfw321. Too much is expected of you. You have to take a stand. I think firstly talk to your church friend and he will help you I am sure.

You need to tell your wife you cannot do all she expects of you. You have done so much and you will burn out very soon if you don't tell her.
God bless I am thinking and praying for you.

cazmanian_minx

(((((((((((Bonnington)))))))))))) I agree with what the others are saying; you can't go on like this taking all the responsibility on your own shoulders indefinitely. You say that you don't want to do a DMP because you can pay everything off if/when you sell the house, but you also say you don't want to sell the house. MrsB is pulling in the opposite direction to you financially at the moment, which makes your job twice as hard

sweetpea26

Hello Bonnington

How are you today?