Lost one of our cats today

sazzybum

Sorry in advance, because this will probably be a bit of a ramble.

I usually leave for work about 845, but this morning I had the urge to go about 825..I ignored it for about 10 minutes but the feeling was really strong..so I started walking.. I got to the road and turned left to find one of our cats (I've got 6) lying about 10 feet from the road. I ran to him, but he was gone.

I feel so guilty..what if I'd listened to myself? Would I have saved him? He hadn't been gone long-his eyes were still wide, and his eyelid hadn't started going over.

My partner walks the same way to work, and he wasn't there at about 755.

In a way I feel lucky because I know what happened to him, if I'd left it to my normal time, the council would have lifted him, and I don't know if they'd have scanned for his chip, and told us...and he must have died right away-so no pain and confusion.

We carried him home and buried him in the garden, and yes I know I have another 5 but we're heartbroken, and I just feel SO guilty.

Again- sorry for the ramble, just had to get it out. My partner is devastated and I can't mention Milamber without him getting upset. Don't want to mention how guilty I'm feeling in case it makes him worse.

nicter

Aww Im so sorry to hear this sazzy
RIP Milamber xxx

spike7451

I'm so sorry for your loss,sending hugs & wishes.
Merv

notsorichandnotsofamous

Thats so sad

Sending you hugs !

sazzybum

All I can say is thank you. Means a lot to me x

MrsE_2

Sorry for your loss, don't torture yourself.
The only way you could have prevented that was to be on the road the second the Milamber was there & as the car was coming, sorry to put it like that but its true & it really was a split second thing.
At least it was quick & he didn't suffer.
Hugs to you x

Cats_Galore_Rescue

So sorry to hear of your loss Sazzy x

Run free Milamber

SnowyOwl_2

I'm sorry to hear about your cat. I know that horrible sick feeling too well, and the accompanying "what if I had..." questions.

The horrible feeling will go and yes you will miss your dear friend Milamber. Remember he was loved and wanted, well fed and looked after - not every cat has these luxuries. You did the very best for him and made sure he was happy. He's gone too soon but at least he had a good life because of you.

sazzybum

Everyone, thank you for taking the time to reply.

MrsE-My head knows you're right, and you put it perfectly, made me feel a wee bit less guilty.

SnowyOwl-he was so spoiled..my partner used to carry him up and down stairs, cradled like a baby, all because Mil fancied a belly rub! My friends are always saying that if they died, they want to come back as one of our cats

There's just an awful big space where a little cat used to be.

Again-thanks everyone.

Sazzy x

Loanranger

So sorry to hear about your friend.
Guilt is a normal part of the grieving process, the 'if only' thoughts are normal.
He's at peace.
Try not to be beat yourself up.
I know these sound like trite platitudes but they're true.
Be kind to yourself.

tattyuk75

I'm sorry, I would be as upset as you if I were in your place. The small thing that should help you is that you know what happened, you know he wasn't roaming around in agony for days and you got to take him home and lay him to rest yourself. So many cats out there just vanish (mine included; Keats has been missing 3 years), and you know that he is at rest and with you, instead of being incinerated by the council for example. Your guilt will fade, I think the urge you had ten minutes before you left would not have saved him, look at it this way instead, I think the message was to find him and bring him home when he couldn't be saved, and you did just that. I hope you feel a bit better soon and realise that you WERE there for him.