Does lending money destroy relationships?

birkee

Sure, I'm sure the young man would be pleased you read his diary. I'm sure he would have loved someone to talk to about his misery, but didn't have that someone. At least he would be glad to know that someone knew where he was coming from.

I've done a lot of genealogy too, and I like to think that, just briefly, I've brought the people involved back to life for a little while. Gone and forgotten, or researched and their lives understood a little more. Some very moving stories in genealogy.

Lending money to friends / family?
Depends on who, and what for. Immediate crisis? Sure, depending on the first part. Uneccessary expenditure? Not likely.
One thing I don't understand, is contributers who say they've lent loads of money to family or friends.
You lend money to someone, the first loan must be repayed before any more is lent. Repetitive lending without repayment, is just throwing money away.
They probably despise you for being a soft touch anway. Why lend money to someone who despises you?

DVardysShadow

*max* wrote: »

Maybe the OP doesn't know how to read her own thread, so she made anoth...oh hang on, no she didn't? She just made up a whole new profile to reply here with the exact same post she she used for her original thread.
OP, either 1/ you're incredibly dim and I wonder how you even managed to find your way here to post a whole thread or 2/you're just taking the proverbial from people who genuinely want to help, making you a total !!!!.

What is it?

Or some other reasons

• someone wanted to discredit the OP
• someone wanted to quote the OP and made a hash of it
• a spammer is trying out an automated way of putting up posts with stolen content

FatVonD

I lent a friend a couple of hundred pounds to pay for a survey to be done on a house she'd inherited and wanted to mortgage to buy her sister's half. At the time my son was small and I wasn't working and this was my savings. The remortgaging didn't go ahead (as far as I know) and I've not heard from her since (about a year after I'd lent it) asking if she could repay me at £50 a month when I was struggling. Never again.

Fuzzy_Duck

January20 wrote: »

Well, I'm not going to lecture you into the rights and wrongs of reading another person's diary - particularly someone who is dead - anybody heard of Anne Frank? (surely she didn't leave instructions that her diary should be made into a book to be read by millions did she?)

Anyway, to get to your question, I would shy away from borrowing/ lending money to friends and family as much as possible as it can be destructive if the lender cannot get their money back for some reason.

I disagree on the Anne Frank account actually. She wanted to be a famous writer after all, and I don't think you can really compare her diary, an important piece of history which has such a profound effect on people and showed the talent she had at such a young age, to a diary written by a suicidal lad detailing painful events in his short life.

Also Ann Frank's dad removed all the bits Ann might have been embarassed about (although she hardly seemed a shy girl) such as bits she'd written about puberty and bad things she'd said about her mother which she'd admitted she felt ashamed about reading through past entries.

Anyway, back on topic I think it depends on who you're lending the money to and why, and the likelihood that person is going to pay it back. The fact his girlfriend argued with him when the money didn't go in on time does suggest she was ungrateful and perhaps using him, which is incredibly sad.

Jake'sGran

wenwen188 wrote: »

I am a house clearer, I was clearing out this young lads flat (He killed himself - shame really for a 21 year old he had a photo, some clothes and a diary to his name)

I asked the client (council) what they wanted me to do with the stuff, I was told to dispose of it how I saw fit. The clothes will go into the bundle and the photo and diary, I felt needed to be returned to a family member/close friend

So, (I know you will say this is bad!) I took about reading this young lads diary, seems he had it tough in life. So I realise after reading there was a special girl in his life, so I scan through the diary to find some form of contact details. I read on an entry on friday, he was giving this girl £100 a week so she could go uni and such. I read another entry he paid her rent. and every friday £100 went in without fail.

Now, fast forward to this month, He was late paying her rent, They argued and apparently a few texts were sent (the client sold the device for costs) and then he did the this.

What is the point of this post? It's weird, and I can't understand why you would want to repeat the words used by the original poster.
If you are not sympathetic why not just stay away or is it that you have no words of your own?

I suppose we can expect all kinds of strange people to post on these forums but it's just so pointless. Please go somewhere else.

rozmister

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

sjc3 wrote: »

How did a dead girl manage to edit a diary?

In March 1944 Anne Frank heard a man on the radio talking about the oppression of the Dutc during WW2 and he vowed to publicise the Dutch people's memoirs after the war to spread the true message of what happened. Anne then began to edit her diaries; changing names to protect people's identities, editing bits out. Unfortunately she was taken to a concentration camp in August 1944 and never got to finish her editing or pass the memoirs over herself but Otto picked up where she left off hence today we can read her diary.

Primrose

I'm a great believer that lending money often does destroy relationships because it immediately put a moral mpressure om a relationship that previously wasn't there. In my own experience I've found that lending money to family members creates the worst bad feeling because so many people don't regard that as a debt of honour which needs to be paid back and they often use the "family" argument to dodge repaying their debts. The resentments that non repayment of debts causes often lasts for years. It's not worth it. If people want to borrow money, they should go to the banks and leave their personal relationships untainted.

brians_daughter

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

No, lending money rarely destroys relationships. It's the repaying or neglect thereof which does that.

Never a truer word said! :T:T:T:T:T

MikeyGe

Wow! Some good responses, I am not that other poster who copied me word for word, I do see it all, it isn't pleasant I see some sad sad things, I try and think this was someones <insert relevance here> and treat the stuff with some respect if you get me?

I got these things that need to be returned to a family member or someone close, in this instance I found some addresses one saying "parents" so I'll check into that and forward it onto the client so they can tell the news (I wouldnt do that as its not my job/place) I give it a few weeks and then send/drop the items round.

This particular job is troubling me, such a young man, so much potential. In a file, I found this kids degree certificate.