Pregnancy After Stillbirth - Experiences Please

RedwoodBrook

Thank you to everyone who contributed to my question.

I am feeling much better after seeing the consultant today. He explained everything in a lot of detail and confirmed a lot of what I already suspected. In his opinion, my son's death was a result of the cord being around his neck although tests on the placenta showed it was not functioning properly and that was also a contributing factor. He was very small and this should have been detected.

He admitted that I had received substandard care thoughout my pregnancy and he could only apologise on behalf of the hospital. He also said I would be under his supervision during this pregnancy and would be receiving daily injections of something-or-other and some other sort of daily medication. He also confirmed I would be able to have a section at 36 weeks if the pregnancy progressed as normal. I am to undergo a series of tests, some now and some after I have given birth, to help prevent this happening again. Apparently there is a high chance I have 'sticky' blood as he phrased it and this can and often does (if untreated) result in stillbirth.

I am really feeling positive about seeing him, and I feel as though I have had a lot of my questions answered.

Thank you again to everyone who contributed.

Red

brians_daughter

Red, good positive news about the app with cons. i am so glad for you.

Although the pain and worry will never leave you during this pregnancy you can now take comfort in the fact you are under the best care possible and every avenue is being explored to aid a successful and normal pregnancy.

If you ever want to chat just pm me or post on here x x

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

Jowo, I appreciate your input, but I find the first 3 points you made a little bit patronising. He is very much a part of my life and all the Christmas cards I sent were from me, my partner, Felix and our puppy. He will continue to feature in everything I do. His name is for him, and will not be used for anyone else. I intend to let my Goddaughter (when she is born) use the toys he would have had, and I will be using everything for my next baby. Siblings (and close friends) share things and It would grieve me more if his clothes/toys were never used. There are pictures of him all over our house and I have a box that contains everything I have - even the tissues were used to wipe his face in the time after he had been born - of him.

That said, I know you did not mean to offend and if you have experience in gynae I am very appreciative. I did not have a section with my son - I was not allowed - but I want one at 36 weeks with this pregnancy. I could not face a normal delivery again, and would want to deliver early for my own sanity more than anything.

Poppyscorner - It is funny you should mention a consultant appointment. I am seeing him tomorrow morning (nearly 5 months after the birth) although I am not sure what will be discussed. I never met the man during my pregnancy or during the delivery so i am not sure what use he will be). He also never saw Felix. We did not have a PM with Felix as the cord being wrapped very tighly around his neck was enough for us. I know, however, that tests were done on the placenta. My only hope for tomorrow is that if there was a problem with Felix (he was very small, as was the placenta) my next pregnancy will be managed better. I had poor care throughout although I do not think it contributed to my son's death.

Thank you again to everyone who has contributed. It is just so upsetting that so many people have experience (directly or otherwise) of stillbirth.

Sorry, but it wasn't meant to be insulting - I have worked in Gynae and have met women who named their subsequent children the same and suffered/regretted it. Some have found it too, too hard to put their second child in clothes that should have been for their first. And some have (especially when the child has been extremely early) tried to erase all reminders from their lives as the pain has been too much, only to regret it later. At my hospital, I would put photographs in sealed envelopes for the mums and kept them on file as sometimes, months later, they would ask for them. One lady came back five years later and didn't expect that we still had it. We did.


When seeing a consultant afterwards, it is usual if there is a PM to discuss what was found. They may be able to explain what happened, they may have to say that simply, we don't know what caused it. As this may have a bearing on future care, it is important - for example, if premature labour can be linked to ascending infection (b strep, for example), there would be a discussion as to whether iv antibiotics would be advisable during a subsequent labour, or whether a section/induction is suitable.

It is also good to be able to say what was felt about the treatment at the time. Some midwives find it difficult to deal with sadness and are less than supportive, as they don't know what to say - some are thoughtless. But some are wonderful. Doctors, also, can be too detached to be sympathetic as well. Sometimes changes are made to procedures on the basis of these appointments.


I am sorry if I have upset anyone - it was never my intention, and, as can be seen, very few people seem to have a great deal of experience with this kind of bereavement - so they naturally feel alone. I wanted to try and explain something, as I have seen and spoken to lots of ladies (and yes, some Dads) in the same situation.


xxx