Pregnancy After Stillbirth - Experiences Please

RedwoodBrook

After suffering a stillbirth at 36 weeks last October, I have today found out I am pregnant again. My partner and I started trying almost immediately after we lost our son and are absolutely overjoyed.

Somewhat ironically, I have worked out my due date to be exactly the same as my son's was. I have very mixed feelings about that.

Although I will appreciate any input, I am really keen to hear from anyone who has gone on to have a successful pregnancy after suffering a similar experience to mine. I have read many stories on the internet and the experiences seem to vary. Some women had fortnighly scans from 18 weeks, while others had no 'special treatment' whatsoever. I know care varies from place to place, but if anyone can give me an indication of what I can expect in the upcoming months I would really appreciate it.

Thank you

jackomdj

nothing to add - except congratulations.

I know it will be hard but try not to stress about things & enjoy the pregnancy as much as possible.

Morganarla

Hi Red, I remember your last thread. I'm so happy for you. Many congratulations xxx

System

Hi Red,
Congratulations on this pregnancy, so sorry to hear how your last one ended.
I have been in a similar position and have a very poor obstetric history. Saying that, I'm happy to tell you that I did go on to have healthy babies after stillbirth.
My pregnancies were a bit complicated ( 3 x early miscarriage, investigations, nothing found, just unlucky, 2 x live healthy births very close together, then sadly 2 x still births, 13 months apart, another early miscarriage then another 2 live healthy babies. So there is always hope!
I was very closely monitored in all my pregnancies and had HCG injections and weekly scans for my first child, but then just had weekly scans for all subsequent babies. I also knew that I could phone anytime, if I was worried and my consultant would check me out/scan me again, whatever was most appropriate. My last best baby was 10lb and is a lovely thriving schoolboy now.
Please feel free to PM me if I can help in any way.
Linda x

Spendless

My baby wasn't stillborn as I had the pregnancy induced at 17 weeks when a routine scan revealed he wouldn't live beyond a few minutes at best. I became pregnant 8 months later, against medical advice, who had told me to wait till a year had passed before trying again. I'd moved areas between the 2 pregnancies and went to my GP who sent me for early and more regular scans, for reassurance. I would suggest you ask. I went on to have 2 healthy children now almost 11 and 8.
For me, I think though the extra scans helped, it was hearing of other people who'd gone thru same as me, had managed to go on to have other children It made me think if they can, so can I. My subscription was for arc who carried stories like this, but get in touch with sands, I'm sure they'll be able to offer support.

chelle230

many congrats Red.
not me, but a close friend of mine had a stillborn daughter at 40 weeks, 6 years ago.
totally devastating for her, but then on a positive note fell pregnant again within a few months, she was monitored closely, scanned every few weeks, and induced a couple of weeks earlier than her due date, and she had a healthy boy.
she then fell pregnant again almost straight away, same precautions were taken. she had another daughter.
both children are doing very well, and know all about their older sister.
my friend does still have her off days, but her 2 children helped ease the pain of her loss, and continue to do so.
I hope you have a happy healthy pregnancy.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

The advice of waiting a year is usually on the reasoning that it means the parents get the first anniversary of the birth, due date, Christmas and the like over and done with. It also allows the mum particularly some time to control her body a bit - sort of taking any pressure to make love again off her, IYSWIM. I have no idea if there is any proper research done around this, but working in Gynae, I heard every permutation of advice and explanation given by doctors. Occasionally this suggestion results from wanting to ensure a caesarian scar is properly healed, but I have known of mums to have babies within 9 months of a section.

Some people need to try again as quickly as possible, some need to wait.

The only things I would suggest is

1. Don't give this baby the same name as your first. And don't choose the feminine version if this is a girl and your first was a little boy, and vice versa.

2. Get new stuff, even just a few things, just in case you find yourself uncomfortable with this baby having the things that were ought for your first.

3. Get a nice frame and your keepsakes - babygro, blanket, bonnet, handprints, whatever you have - and make a special little picture so that your first baby is remembered and cherished and part of your future lives.

4. Don't ignore anything that worries you for fear of overreacting. If you're worried, movements decrease, for example, then seek help and insist on being properly checked out - if midwives seem dismissive, get the consultant, for example.

5. Check your previous notes, in case there is something there that has been overlooked - an infection, for example, and ensure that this is properly addressed.

6. Remember, your terrible loss is likely to be followed by a beautiful baby that will never replace your first child, but will help you all heal in some way.

7. It is reasonable to feel down after the birth, you could be overjoyed, you could feel that this is the 'wrong' baby, any number of conflicting feelings. Seek help sooner rather than later, don't hide any feelings away for fear of their not being 'normal' or ungrateful.

8. If you are booked in for an induction or section, make sure it happens a day or two before your oldest's birthday. Afterwards means you have a sad memory just before his/her birthday every year - and further before means that there is a possibility of baby blues hitting just as your eldest's birthday comes. Obviously, you have to go by medical advice, but if there is a situation where you can book a date in advance, this is worth taking into account.

I wish you all the best for your future.

Jo x

emsywoo123

Jojo I'm not sure why, but your post brought a tear to my eye, it was beautiful.

Red I remember your thread, as we were due at almost exactly the same time. I have no advice to offer, sorry, but I am so so pleased for you and congratulations :beer: :beer: (such an inappropriate smiley )

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Jojo I'm not sure why, but your post brought a tear to my eye, it was beautiful.

Red I remember your thread, as we were due at almost exactly the same time. I have no advice to offer, sorry, but I am so so pleased for you and congratulations :beer: :beer: (such an inappropriate smiley )

Thanks, Emsy, but I think we all know by now that you're a complete softy

xx

Bunny

Sorry I've no personal experiences to share with you, but like a previous poster, I do remember your previous thread, I would just like to add a big Congratulations :j :beer:
A friend of a friend is currently pregnant after the stillbirth of her son at around 36 weeks, they found out it was a combination of a clot and the baby tangled in the cord that caused his death, but she has been on blood thinning injections and is being induced slightly earlier, I'm not sure whether she's had more regular scans or not, as I say she's a friend of a friend.
I do hope everything goes smoothly and I hope you have your baby a bit away from the birthday of Felix and also his funeral, just so you can think about each baby separately.
I think Jojo has made some great suggestions.
I hope it's a happier time for you and not one filled completely with worry and stress (although that would be understandable)

brians_daughter

RedwoodBrook wrote: »

After suffering a stillbirth at 36 weeks last October, I have today found out I am pregnant again. My partner and I started trying almost immediately after we lost our son and are absolutely overjoyed.

Somewhat ironically, I have worked out my due date to be exactly the same as my son's was. I have very mixed feelings about that.

Although I will appreciate any input, I am really keen to hear from anyone who has gone on to have a successful pregnancy after suffering a similar experience to mine. I have read many stories on the internet and the experiences seem to vary. Some women had fortnighly scans from 18 weeks, while others had no 'special treatment' whatsoever. I know care varies from place to place, but if anyone can give me an indication of what I can expect in the upcoming months I would really appreciate it.

Thank you

Sorry for your loss, and happy for your great news!

I lost my son at 24weeks and had more regular scans and check ups in the pregnancy after that, this pregnancy tho i have just had the usual anti natal care

My best friend has a stillborn son at 38+4 - no reasons for it that thye could find 'just one of those things' After 15 months they found out they were expecting twins - just like you, they were due 2 years to the day of Ewans birthday. She did have extra scans (but it was twins so more is to be expected) She was scanned (from memory) at 6 weeks, 12, 16, 20 and every 2 weeks after that. She was also induced at 38 weeks- again this was partially due to twins and also due to Ewans death.

Call you doctors, usually you only see a mw at around 8 -10 weeks but i am sure they will see you prior to this given the circumstances.

I would look at the significance of the dates as a sure sign that your little boy is smiling down on your from baby heaven..hes decided mummy and daddy have had too much heartache and he wants you to be happy. You will never forget him if you have 100 children.

Sorry, i do hope that last bit has not offended you in anyway... what is my belief may not be yours.

Anyhow a massive congrats!! :j:j:j:j:j:j:j