How do you do this with children who are used to no money worries?

jennikitten

GeorgieFTB wrote: »

I've been the kid in this situation

Me too. My mum's solution was to take us to car boot sales at the weekend. Good for recycling, and a lot of bargains to be had (especially if you don't mind a bit of haggling). Can pick up new, boxed toys a lot too.

Freecycle might be worth a look as well?

MrsTinks

As for teaching the value of money there was a challenge or whatever on MSE a while ago - about how parents taught their children the value of money...
I loved how one parent paid interest at 1 rate if her son saved up his money but charged him a staggering 100% interested if he wanted to borrow money for something... suddenly saving up had a HUGE attraction and he could wait another week or whatever to buy something...
As for buying kids things... I agree - the fondest memories I have from being younger are of making christmas decorations on my birthday with my mum... it didn't cost us much but even a the age of 31 when my mum asked me what I wanted for my birthday I asked her to please just fly over and spend the weekend making decorations with me and her granddaughter... it meant so much more to me than a jumper, new shoes, some ornament I'd only have to dust etc...
And despite my mum being horsey she or anyone else never came to watch me ride either... I always cycled down and did my lesson, helped in the stables and cycled home... they never even came to see me in showjumping or cross country competitions... I'd have loved to have shown what I'd learnt and what I could do...

mrscmr

dear cleggie

my children were very very spoilt for a long time, having a toy or game everytime we went anywhere.. then our situation went down hill rather rapidly... 2 years on ... they rarely ask for anything, they actively get involved in weekly food shopping and really understand the value of things. they even help with ebaying their old toys etc. it was my fault that they were spoilt but back then i had no idea what lay ahead of us...

it will take them a little time to readjust but they will and my kids are no worse off for it, infact when they do get something it actually means something these days x

duchy

This is all quite thought provoking -Shopping is probably one of the top hobbies in the country .

I think I'm lucky as I don't really enjoy it and usuallly if I go now I'm mystery shopping or out for something specific. If I want to treat myself to something-I'm more likely to buy on line and justify it with cashback or nectar points or something

There was one day I needed a sharpie pen-none to be had in my local high street -instead of jumping on a bus to the bigger shops at a cost of nearly £3 return-I went home and bought them on ebay -cost less than the busfare alone would have done and arrived the next morning.

It's just a matter of changing your habits but there's definitely savings to be made -in time and money by losing the shopping "hobby" or keeping it as a treat.

Get the kids in on it too-introduce them to the concept of the freebies board here and encourage them to enter competitions -there are lots of kids only comps and they might win something fab -who knows they may never develop the "shopping hobby" and you might have saved them a fortune

Tixy

MrsTine wrote: »

I loved how one parent paid interest at 1 rate if her son saved up his money but charged him a staggering 100% interested if he wanted to borrow money for something... suddenly saving up had a HUGE attraction and he could wait another week or whatever to buy something...

This is great.

dimpski

Another idea for you as well if the buying involved books - why dont you try your local library. It is free, can be a nice walk (if local) and they can still gett all sorts of books. Will also help with the responsibily bit in that they have to look after them and remember that they have to go back - which results in another cost free trip for the family.
Just a thought....
Our library was in the town so this was the reward for my two sons when we had to go into town for bits. My eldest loved his books - the only thing was we would often end up in there for an hour but then again it was warm, educational and they loved taking part in the summer read....

barbiedoll

Yes, I know how this feels, we had to have the "money chat" with my son a couple of years ago, when he was 11 too. Christmas that year was horrible, we could only manage to buy him a couple of second-hand games and books and we felt dreadful on Christmas morning, although he put a brave face on it.

The following year (last Christmas) I spoke to him to ask him what he would like for a present. He said that he knew that we didn't have much money but he would rather have his dad at home for Christmas day and forego his presents. (My husband had to work for the previous two Christmases) He also said that as he gets "loads of money" from other members of our family, it wouldn't matter if we didn't get him anything expensive as he could go and buy something in the sales on Boxing day. He made me cry a little bit but as I thought that he was one of the most materialistic kids on the planet (the Argos catalogue is his favourite book!) I felt quite humbled too. Kids don't really need presents every five minutes. it's us parents who think that they do. My son has become a real MSEer, all of his old video games get sold or traded in, we love charity shops, boot fairs and ebay. He swaps things with his mates and he won't ask for money for chips, sweets and so on when he is going out, because he knows that we just don't have it. In return, I keep crisps, sweets and ice-creams for him and his friends at home.

Kids aren't usually too bothered about new clothes either. Don't be afraid to "trade down" your usual haunts, go to Primark and Peacocks for the kids clothes, they only grow out of them anyway! And don't feel guilty. The children have a roof over their head, food and clothing and a mum who loves them. They really don't want or need anything else!

cleggie

Oh my God....i am loving the responses on this thread, thank you all so so much. I really want you to know that i absoloutley appreciate every reply.

I wasnt sure what to expect when i admitted my debt, i thought that some would tell me to shut up and stop moaning about such 'little' debt, and then i thought that some would slate me for having debt in the 1st place...and you have all been so so supportive and helpful!

Thanks so much, it really makes a difference to me!

Anyhow, on the advice of someone on this site (sorry, cant remember who it was) we chose a theme (a country) and used it for our entertainment, and food.

So, we chose China. My older son had already been to a Chinese club not so long ago, so told us a bit about the language, then we researched more about it, looked on the maps we have and found where it was, then we all helped (!?) make dinner- Home Made Chicken Chow Mein (with prawn crackers).

It was FAB!!!! Thanks to you all so much!

RAS

I have a feeling that what your sons will remember is the inspired days your spent together doing and learning things.

And by the way, one of the big things to learn is that adults do not know it all, and that at 7 or 10, you can be an independent learner. It is not just what you get taught at school.

makemedebtfreeplease

we have 2 girls - 6 & 9 - and since going on dmp we have started giving them weekly pocket money which they have to save if they want something - its surprising how many things they decide they dont want when it is their money not ours buying it!!!