How do you do this with children who are used to no money worries?

cleggie

GeeGee, you are so right. I need to remember that fact. Who cares about them being bought stuff if i am spending time with them!

CravingSaving

GEEGEE8 wrote: »

I used to go horseriding with my sister on a Saturday, either mum or dad would take us, didn't matter who took us they would sort us out with the riding school and then sit in the car until we had finished. I would have loved them to have watched me each week instead of sitting in the car.

So, think of things where money doesn't even enter their heads

Woooooah..... this really struck a chord with me GeeGee8. I used to take my son to football, but as I hate the sport, and the noise, I used to sit in the car and read. I can't undo what has been done, but with your wisdom and some hindsight, I would do things differently now (except for when it was raining or snowing!!).

Cleggie, I think others have covered it well. Stop going into town as a usual weekend activity and exchange it for something the kids will really appreciate... time with you.

Feeling newly motivated (and a little shamed myself) so off to bake a cake with my daughter!

My kids all know that times are tight. They don't know the nitty gritties, but enough to know not to be asking for money for this n that. I think it is good to know that your parents aren't perfect. It's better to know it earlier, than for it to come as a surprise and a disappointment when they are adults!!

Hope things work out for you.

drrat

They will in time get used to getting less. The trick is to on occasion treat them like you used to, but not regularly and not on demand.

Our kids know not to expect too much, they get the odd treat, and when they get one they appreciate it that much more because they don't expect it.

If we take them shopping we do still have to say no a hundred times, but they don't complain about it. But Feeling mean as a result I understand that, as I feel the same sometimes. Especially when you see other parents buying on demand.

And as for christmas and birthdays, they know how much they are going to get as they know we only spend x amount of money on them at xmas and Birthdays. So their expectations are managed here also. Although I admit its hard sometimes to keep to this budget especially if you have something specific in mind which costs more. What we do in these cases is trim spending elsewhere to make it affordable, my wife would normally be particularly frugal on the weekly shop for a couple of weeks to make up the difference.

dreamdreamer

What a great point to have raised. We don't have kids but the reason I'm striving to be debt free is that I don't want debt when we have children. We won't start "trying" until the debt is gone. Not so I can splurge on them, just so I don't have the worry at the back of my mind and can just enjoy spending time with them.

I definitely think the way out here is, as other's have said, not to go to town! We've all done it, shopping as a hobby! I used to go in 3-4 times a week just to meet friends, have a coffee, a browse. Now I go in probably twice a month because I need to go to the bank/post office etc. It's more than halved my outgoings.

Kids really do love TIME, much more than "stuff". I can't remember anything I begged for on a saturday in town. I do remember every cheap sun holiday in a caravan with a board game and a KFC bargain bucket - spending quality time and thrashing mum and dad at everything! That was the real fun, not the hours trudging round shops.

Especially when you see other parents buying on demand.

Just think of their credit card bills!

GEEGEE8

CravingSaving wrote: »

Woooooah..... this really struck a chord with me GeeGee8. I used to take my son to football, but as I hate the sport, and the noise, I used to sit in the car and read. I can't undo what has been done, but with your wisdom and some hindsight, I would do things differently now (except for when it was raining or snowing!!).

Aww, it's not easy if you don't enjoy it I guess.. but I've always vowed to myself that I will be watching everything my kids do and cheering them on (I don't have kids yet, so maybe it's not as easy as I imagine)

I also had the same with my Karate classes, used to go on my own and all I ever wanted was someone to be proud of me and congratulate me.

Don't get me wrong, I had a great childhood and very fond memories, but I did crave more attention rather than all the treats and expensive gifts.

As an adult I struggle to do things on my own now, like going swimming or gym as I'm much more motivated if I have someone there to 'show off' in front of lol.

OP, don't underestimate how much fun your kids will have knowing you are there and watching them on the monkey bars or slides lol..

shop-to-drop

You don't need to explain to the kids about debts etc. Tell them you don't have much money they will understand and accept it. So many people seem to be ashamed to let their kids know they don't have unlimited money I don't understand it. We don't have lots of debts but try to spend money sensibly our kids know that there are some things we wouldn't have or do if we weren't sensible with money and they think that's great. I guess it's easier because we have always been like that but your kids are old enough to understand. Maybe get them involved with budgeting with you. Setting a food shopping budget and saving receipts adding them up that sort of thing.

GEEGEE8

Tell them you are saving up for a puppy... that'll stop them moaning about new toys! lol.. *joke*

cleggie

Hahahahahaha GeeGee..good one!!

cleggie

Just wanted to say thanks to you all.
Me and the kids have just spent over an hour in their bedroom with paper aeroplanes having a whale of a time!!
Fun doesnt have to cost money!

We are also having a wii night tonight, battling each other. Should be fun!

shop-to-drop

cleggie wrote: »

Just wanted to say thanks to you all.
Me and the kids have just spent over an hour in their bedroom with paper aeroplanes having a whale of a time!!
Fun doesnt have to cost money!

We are also having a wii night tonight, battling each other. Should be fun!

You've got it! Don't be ashamed of having little money the kids will get it. In fact in books all the nice kids and parents are poor. The rich ones are the nasty ones.;)

If you do have to take them with you and have a spare pound to give each of them you could try what we used to often do and give them the pound before you go tell them that if they want anything while out they have to use the pound if they don't spend it they can save it or go to the pound shop for something. Also remember to take a drink and snack with you so you don't have to buy while out.