How do you do this with children who are used to no money worries?

Quenastoise

My Saturday routine when it's just DS and I includes going to the local library and the charity shop across the library. DS is allowed a small toy from the charity shop, which I don't really look at as an extravagance because it's only £1 or £2 tops and the money goes to a good cause.

At the same time, he's used to hearing "no, you can't have that, it's rubbish/babyish/too expensive" and he accepts it.

He earns his own pocket money by doing chores (at 10p a pop) and is currently saving for Lego Atlantis.

We talk about earning money and not wasting food/electricity, etc.

He'll probably have his own MSE account at some point, but he's only 6 at the moment

Morty_007

Have totally loved reading this thread. The support from everyone is amazing and the ideas are fab too. Will have a look at the things to do thread later when i'm not getting glared at by the DH for typing and not coming to the dinner table I have also loved this thread for the fact that the thread is untouched by critical ninnys!! (touch wood!)

I'll be back

Lottebear

As a child my mother was a single parent on benefits, only used to go to town for what we needed not every week, and this would be explained before we went i.e we are going to the bakers to buy bread not sweets.

If toy were asked for it was only after a birthday with money given, some would be saved and some would be spent, she also used buy a selection of gifts for birthday parties to save on me wanting things in the toy shop.

Quenastoise

enjoy your dinner !

[Deleted User]

cleggie wrote: »

GeeGee, you are so right. I need to remember that fact. Who cares about them being bought stuff if i am spending time with them!

This is so true!

I had the opposite kind of upbringing - my mum was left alone with two children through no fault of her own, and she'd had a pretty thrifty post-war childhood herself.

Although it was sometimes a bit hard, feeling jealous of the kid who went to DisneyLand and had £5 a week pocket money (in 1981 !!! I had 30p!) I am now very very glad.

I know how to shop around, how to entertain myself and how to cook from scratch - wholesome filling nutritious food.

Our non-school clothes often came from jumble sales (no charity shops then) but my mum took us to the library after she finished work at 4pm every week, or twice even - we often got books about subjects that we'd been learning at school or seen on telly - and we were allowed to try all sorts at weekends! Because we went shopping with her and *knew* we couldn't spend more than a certain amount it helped us learn sums, adding up the trolley.

I grew a 5 foot apple tree from a pip, we tried growing lettuce in the front garden, and we even made our own board games if we didn't have the money to buy them or borrow from family. We were allowed to stay up very late on Saturdays to watch very old 1930's horror films - I'm a film buff now! We did have fun, and lots of laughs at times.

It wasn't perfect by a long shot but I'm glad it was like that and it makes the appreciation of luxury all the more enjoyable.

pennypusher

Hi have you thought about putting up your Statement of Affairs, maybe we could go through it and help you save money that way so you've got a little extra for the children, or to pay off your bills sooner.

The_Matelot

Hey! Dont worry you can see the support that everyone is giving you. We as parents all fall into the same trap. God knows i do. But i have found kids are very robust you just got to come down to thier level. Mine has suddenly found a love for baking which im happy with as a mixture box is a pound in asda! Also we went through his room and had a degunge on sat and found no end of unopened xmas toys/games that he'd forgotten about! There always ways round spending! X

CravingSaving

joolzred wrote: »

I grew a 5 foot apple tree from a pip,

Oh this is a great one! My son has a 1ft orange tree growing on the kitchen windowsill. It is now about 3 years old so he will probably be an adult before it bears fruit!

This has truly been a great thread and quite inspirational. From this thread I have taken time to bake with my kids yesterday, ask them if they would like a "country" themed food night (they chose Germany... Wiener Schnizel and Sourkraut??? any ideas please on a postcard), and have just done a deal with them over payment for chores!

I am a Scout Leader, and spend hours and hours a week organising exciting things for the Scouts to do.... I think I have been neglecting my very owns scouts As I have recently learned when my 16yr old son left home to live with his Dad (another discussion entirely), you only get a very short time frame to make things count with your kids.

shop-to-drop

We also used to have 'try something new night'. Where we'd buy something they'd never eaten. A strange named fruit etc. I'd always rumage in the markdowns for bargains. We'd have fish, seafood, different meat etc they loved this. I wouldn't make it the whole meal it was just a taste. Some of the items they now love others we didn't get again! I think it has really helps given them a healthy attitude to food.

gambit27

I went from being comfortable, in a relationship with OH having decent money, me on a part time wage, to being a single mother of 2, on the part time wage, stuck with our joint debt, which was all in my name, with no maintenance from ex (think this is his way of getting back at me for ending the relationship) I struggled so much that we could barely afford bread some weeks, and felt enormously guilty that my kids didn't have ANY treats, for about 6 months till we sold the house. I had to use most of the money to pay off debts so we now rent, as I didn't have enough for a deposit, and I've faced up to my debts, which I'm now paying off (half way there ) after a bit you get used to it, and you manage your money much better. I never, ever go into town, it's far too tempting, I order online a lot, and only go into town when I really need to. My kids are the same age as yours, I've not explained that I'm in debt, I don't think it's necessary, it helps of course that they know there's only one wage coming in!

We have a blow out night out once a month, once all the bills are paid, to the cinema, bowling or whatever and pizza hut (they do great deals) or nando's mmm, I also exchange my Tesco vouchers for cinema vouchers and keep them for mid month treats now and again, we take our own goodies and I splurge on a bag of popcorn for us. They look forward to their treat, and they are both FANTASTIC with their money. They never complain, or 'want' for anything, as they have everything they need, and treats are seen as just that. If they see something they fancy on the internet they save it to their wishlist on favourites, and if I have spare cash I'll order it for them off ebay or wherever's cheapest and they get a lovely surprise when it lands on the mat and I say, that's for you I also have a Credit Union account, I put £20 per week in that, and that gives me a loan of £800 at Christmas to buy their pressies (mostly eases my guilt if I'm honest lol) and put's away savings of about £250 per year, the £20 pays off the loan by November, and add's to my savings which I can't touch while I'm paying back the loan, so by the time I'm debt free I'll have a decent little nest egg tucked away, already got £1,250 in it, so my plan is once I'm debt free in a couple of years, I'll treat us to a lovely holiday somewhere special using savings, not credit

They help me cook dinner almost every night, we get recipe books from the library and write down our favourites to make again. We've started baking a lot too. So not only are we spending time together, they're learning how to look after themselves when they're older. We plant fruit and veg and look after the plants together, then take great delight in eating them when ripe Wii night's are fantastic fun too and only costs the batteries (even cheaper in the long run if you buy rechargeable)

My parent's had hardly any money when I was growing up, but I never knew till I was an adult, in this situation, and my Mum said not to worry, we've all been there. I used to think scrambled egg rolls as Friday night dinner was a treat, but my Mum says it's because eggs were all that were left before my Dad got paid that night and we went shopping, she also said she felt terrible about feeding me that for dinner, but I loved it, and now it's a real comfort food for me, I always have scrambled egg rolls when I feel down, just aswel it's cheap lol. I don't remember going to the cinema often, or anywhere else for that matter, but in the summer we used to pile into my Granda's car every 2nd Sunday and go away for the day with a picnic, ball, bucket and spade etc, only cost the petrol chipped in by 2 sets of adults per car, and away we went from early morning till after dinner (always chips from the chippy) I planted peas, potatoes and onions with my Granda in his garden, I always remember polishing the door knob with brasso for some reason too!!! Our holidays were caravan's in Whitley Bay every year, 2 caravans between about 15 of us, but that was half the fun, we still do that every Easter, take our own food and have 1 special meal out, only now there are more of us so we go for 4 caravans, my kids have an absolute ball, they have all their cousin's with them, so get a lot more freedom to roam about the park, just as I did when I was younger. Quality time is a million times more important than money, when I look back at my childhood I realise just how much, just took me a while to figure that out.

My aunt was in a similar situation, and her kids (now 18 and 21) say they remember their cinema nights, drawing the curtains and watching a video with sweets and crisps, they also remember 'butterfly toast' as a huge treat lol, she'd cut the toast into triangles and make it look like a butterfly. But it just goes to show, the butterfly toast, my scrambled egg rolls, it's the smallest things kids remember, not how much money being spent.
And the important thing to remember is, it's not forever, you'll be out of debt before you know it, and the money your spending on debt, could be money saved for holidays, home, whatever.