We’d like to remind Forumites to please avoid political debate on the Forum.
This is to keep it a safe and useful space for MoneySaving discussions. Threads that are – or become – political in nature may be removed in line with the Forum’s rules. Thank you for your understanding.
📨 Have you signed up to the Forum's new Email Digest yet? Get a selection of trending threads sent straight to your inbox daily, weekly or monthly!
The Forum now has a brand new text editor, adding a bunch of handy features to use when creating posts. Read more in our how-to guide
Grumpy OH
pinkshoes
Posts: 20,674 Forumite
My man is in a mood!
He has a newly single best mate who now refuses to go out drinking in the small town we live in, because he doesn't want to bump into his ex, so is wanting my OH to go out drinking in the town he now lives in (about 10 miles away).
I don't have a problem with him going out, but it means I'll get woken up when he comes in (usually 1am), then woken up 2 or 3 times in the night with him getting up to pee, and usually walking into the furniture (due to the number of pints he'll drink!!).
My main issue is that we have a 3 month old, who will require 1 or even 2 night feeds, as well as waking up at 6am, which I can just about cope with, but if I also get woken up by my OH all night, then my day tomorrow will be rubbish, as I'll be shattered, yet he'll be too hung over to look after DS. (He'll disagree with this, but sitting DS on his knee in front of the TV does not count as entertainment for a 3 month old!).
I suggested he either drives, has a couple of pints and soft drinks, then comes home at a reasonable time, OR he gets his mate to pick him up, they stays over at his mates house, with his mate dropping him off tomorrow nice and early to walk the dog! (no where to park at his mates house).
He now appears to be grumpy and sulking.
Are my two suggestions that bad, or am I being unreasonable by not wanting a night of broken sleep?!
I hate man moods!
He has a newly single best mate who now refuses to go out drinking in the small town we live in, because he doesn't want to bump into his ex, so is wanting my OH to go out drinking in the town he now lives in (about 10 miles away).
I don't have a problem with him going out, but it means I'll get woken up when he comes in (usually 1am), then woken up 2 or 3 times in the night with him getting up to pee, and usually walking into the furniture (due to the number of pints he'll drink!!).
My main issue is that we have a 3 month old, who will require 1 or even 2 night feeds, as well as waking up at 6am, which I can just about cope with, but if I also get woken up by my OH all night, then my day tomorrow will be rubbish, as I'll be shattered, yet he'll be too hung over to look after DS. (He'll disagree with this, but sitting DS on his knee in front of the TV does not count as entertainment for a 3 month old!).
I suggested he either drives, has a couple of pints and soft drinks, then comes home at a reasonable time, OR he gets his mate to pick him up, they stays over at his mates house, with his mate dropping him off tomorrow nice and early to walk the dog! (no where to park at his mates house).
He now appears to be grumpy and sulking.
Are my two suggestions that bad, or am I being unreasonable by not wanting a night of broken sleep?!
I hate man moods!
Should've = Should HAVE (not 'of')
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
Would've = Would HAVE (not 'of')
No, I am not perfect, but yes I do judge people on their use of basic English language. If you didn't know the above, then learn it! (If English is your second language, then you are forgiven!)
0
Comments
-
Hi
I dont think you are being unreasonable at all, if anything i think you are being more than fair esp as you have a 3 month old.
Have you asked him why he is sulking or did he just mumble something.
Not sure what else to say other than let him get on with it.
xx0 -
I sympathise with you, and agree that to me, in your situation, your OH staying at his mates after a night out would make most sense. But if they've both been drinking, neither of them will be legal to drive in the morning tomorrow will they?0
-
No, you're not being unreasonable, after all you're the one getting up a couple of times in the night.
Sounds to me like your OH hasn't adjusted to the new arrival yet and pretty much expects life to be like it was before baby. If he doesn't help with the night feeds, he may have no idea how shattering it to survive on stretches of 4 hour sleep
Keep calm and carry on0 -
Lol, youre far nicer than me..........my OH wouldnt be allowed out! Tee hee, but I am a bit hormonal at the moment!Sealed Pot Challenge Member 151
Targets for 2014......
CLEAR THE OVERDRAFT - £700
SAVE DEPOSIT FOR HOUSE £10,000 SO FAR
LEARN TO SEW - Have made two little stuffed rabbits so far, I love them!0 -
I think you sound very reasonable. You have basically given your partner the option of staying out all night after a night on the drink with no nagging, no hounding him by text about where he is or nagging him to get up early to look after the baby. He should be jumping for joy!If you always do what you have always done, you will always get what you always got!0
-
I think he should be grateful that you're doing all the night feeds AND more than happy to 'let' him stay out all night and sleep at his mates house, but like others have said - he's probably unaware of just how tiring it all is.
Maybe he wanted you to say 'no' and have a get out clause, and now you've said that you don't mind, he'll have to go all the way over to his mates town...Paying off CC in 2011 £2100/£1692
Jan NSD 19/20 Feb NSD11/15March/April ? May 0/15
Sealed pot 1164 it's a surprise!0 -
Staying over at his mate's house does seem reasonable but what will you do if it becomes his saturday night regular habit and he starts staying out every saturday. Tell him next Saturday you will be going out and he can babysit
I’m a Forum Ambassador and I support the Forum Team on the Old style MoneySaving boards.
If you need any help on these boards, please let me know.
Please report any posts you spot that are in breach of the Forum Rules by using the Report button, or by e-mailing forumteam@moneysavingexpert.com.
All views are my own and not of MoneySavingExpert.com0 -
I think he should be bloody grateful you are willing to let him stay out all night!:heartpulsOnce a Flylady, always a Flylady:heartpuls0
-
How many times a week does your OH go out drinking?. I would have thought he would prefer to be with you considering you(both) have a new baby. I get the impression that a lot of young women put up with behaviour like this but I just could not handle it.
You say you don't mind about him going out but it might become a problem as time goes on and there might not be enough money. Alcohol is expensive and children need more as they get older. I can only see it getting worse as time goes on unless his attitude changes. You need to have a good sleep every night.
Sorry for the rant but I feel strongly about situations like this.0 -
tell him if he doesnt stop his moaning YOU will go out instead
:heartpulsOnce a Flylady, always a Flylady:heartpuls0
This discussion has been closed.
Confirm your email address to Create Threads and Reply
Categories
- All Categories
- 354.3K Banking & Borrowing
- 254.4K Reduce Debt & Boost Income
- 455.4K Spending & Discounts
- 247.3K Work, Benefits & Business
- 604K Mortgages, Homes & Bills
- 178.4K Life & Family
- 261.5K Travel & Transport
- 1.5M Hobbies & Leisure
- 16K Discuss & Feedback
- 37.7K Read-Only Boards