Health advice for my 8 year old overweight son please...

Taliahmai

Thank you I did try and go to the dr's yes, but to be honest they didnt seam interested at all and basically just said to me. Well you know what you need to be doing so just do it!

It is more his state of mind over it im bothered about, he is becoming increasingly upset about it and often crys, he doesnt like going to school as he gets picked on (something ive brought up with school on lots of occasions!) Its gotten so bad now that once he refuses to go to school there is nothing i can do to physically move him. ive not been able to pick him up for a couple of years, ive tried coxing him, bribing him, just generally talking to him...talking to his teachers and everything. His teacher even came round one morning as i rang them to explain he just wouldnt move. We have another meeting with school next week when they go back so hopefully this will solve it once and for all......but i know its all down to how he feels about his weight. Its just so upsetting seeing him so upset

Ballyhoo

I used to be a lot bigger than I am now, but it's still a work in progress. For me, it was a case of "put down the fork, put on the nikes" and that was it really. Even for adults it's really hard...

It's tough being a big kid, and it really is worth getting your GP on board, particularly in order to rule anything else out - its unlikely but worth checking in order to put your own mind at rest. I'd also consider whether he's comfort eating out of sight etc - it's tough but you might have to check whether he might be eating secretly at school/friends houses. Do you give him free rein with his pocket money or is it more controlled?

Some local gyms offer facilties for younger kids, but normally from 12 upwards, as 8 is awfully young. Also, it can be quite boring just working away by yourself in a gym, even in groups. Have you considered a team game like rugby? It's a good supportive environment, most clubs are really friendly (and not just for him, you can make new friends too!) and - best of all - he'll probably be coached by huge blokes who you wouldn't dare call fat in a million years. Could be great for his self-confidence.

shellsuit

Taliahmai wrote: »

Thank you I did try and go to the dr's yes, but to be honest they didnt seam interested at all and basically just said to me. Well you know what you need to be doing so just do it!

It is more his state of mind over it im bothered about, he is becoming increasingly upset about it and often crys, he doesnt like going to school as he gets picked on (something ive brought up with school on lots of occasions!) Its gotten so bad now that once he refuses to go to school there is nothing i can do to physically move him. ive not been able to pick him up for a couple of years, ive tried coxing him, bribing him, just generally talking to him...talking to his teachers and everything. His teacher even came round one morning as i rang them to explain he just wouldnt move. We have another meeting with school next week when they go back so hopefully this will solve it once and for all......but i know its all down to how he feels about his weight. Its just so upsetting seeing him so upset

Poor thing

What does he eat on a typical day?

What about going for walks of a weekend, or swimming a couple of times a week?

It's not just about cutting the bad food out, he will need to excercise also.

[Deleted User]

Sausage rolls and pork pies are SOO bad for you. There is an unbelievable amount of saturate fat in those things (look at the 'ring of death on those things, its all red normally)- you'd be better off eating a mars bars

How about substituting something with a strong savoury taste for them, like twiglets? These small snacks could easily be throwing in unnecessary fats and calories that will prevent weight loss

faithcecilia

Taliahmai wrote: »

Thank you I did try and go to the dr's yes, but to be honest they didnt seam interested at all and basically just said to me. Well you know what you need to be doing so just do it!

It is more his state of mind over it im bothered about, he is becoming increasingly upset about it and often crys, he doesnt like going to school as he gets picked on (something ive brought up with school on lots of occasions!) Its gotten so bad now that once he refuses to go to school there is nothing i can do to physically move him. ive not been able to pick him up for a couple of years, ive tried coxing him, bribing him, just generally talking to him...talking to his teachers and everything. His teacher even came round one morning as i rang them to explain he just wouldnt move. We have another meeting with school next week when they go back so hopefully this will solve it once and for all......but i know its all down to how he feels about his weight. Its just so upsetting seeing him so upset

It must be very hard to see your son so upset about it, I think this is all the more reason to go back to the gp as it sounds like he could possibly be depressed.

A few years ago there was a documentary following a group of overweight children and their parents as they tried to get to a healthy weight. One thing they said is you need to be honest with the child. Its so easy to try and reassure them that they are not fat when they are upset about it, but actually that doesn't help as the child is fat, and the child knows it and the parent knows it, it basically becomes the elephant in the room. They suggested, when a child says 'so and so called me fat' to respond along the lines of 'yes, we know you are, so we are doing x, y and z so you won't be soon.' I know it goes against instinct, but it seemed helpful.

shellsuit

Regarding what he has for his lunch, that is so unhealthy.

Pork pies and sausage rolls are just fat basically. And a sandwich too, then fruit? An adult doesn't even need all that, let alone an 8 yo child.

What does the sandwich consist of? White bread? Butter? What filling?

squoog

If this were my son, i would go back to the gp and explain the whole situation and ask to be referred as I suggested before. I hope the school are taking the bullying seriously.

Humphrey10

cte1111 wrote: »

1. Rewarding children for eating up all their food is teaching them to overeat, you need to teach him how to learn when he is full and stop eating at that point.

I'd second this - I was told by a dietician that this is a problem for lots of people, their whole childhood they are forced by well meaning parents to overeat, and punished or made to feel guilty for not overeating ('no pudding unless you finish your main course!' 'think of the poor starving orphans!'), so they get taught to ignore the feeling of being full and continue eating.

I was told that when trying to loose weight, it is helpful for some people to always leave some food uneaten, especially when eating out or when eating a preprepared meal - so you are eating slightly less than one portion, and so you never are forcing yourself to eat.

Taliahmai

Ive never really thought about the sausage rolls etc, he doesnt have them every day but like today for example he had ready break for his breakfast then a ham sandwich with a sausage roll (i dont mean a big one just the picnic size ones) and a picnic egg then for his dinner we had a chicken breast (not a whole one) with cous cous and roasted butternut squash and sweet potato. He also had a twirl after his dinner and has 'snacked' on 2 apples and a handfull of grapes.

In all honesty after reading your replies i think i have a lot to learn about a 'healthy' diet....i do cook all my meals from scratch and buy no frozen meals, not even pizzas. But yes i did just cut out most of the sweet stuff he eats and increased his fruit/veg intake

Im overweight myself (by 3st) so yes i think i need to educate myself too...

thank you everyone! I think im going to rignt he dr in the morning and see if i can get an appointment.

Re the exercise etc, i also have a 4 year old and a 1 year old and im on my own with them,so it can be difficult finding something we can all do together, ive tried going for a walk to the park (about a half hour walk away) but my 4 year old struggles and just complains and cries that her legs hurt!. We do have a trampoline in the garden that he goes on a lot when the weather isnt bad tho...

Taliahmai

ringo_24601 wrote: »

Sausage rolls and pork pies are SOO bad for you. There is an unbelievable amount of saturate fat in those things (look at the 'ring of death on those things, its all red normally)- you'd be better off eating a mars bars

How about substituting something with a strong savoury taste for them, like twiglets? These small snacks could easily be throwing in unnecessary fats and calories that will prevent weight loss

He wont eat crips, he never has liked them

And also them suggesting swimming...i cant as i cant take the other two in aswell....and also weekends are harder as they go to their dads, so i only really have the time after school, which once dinner etc is out of the way doesnt leave much time before my 1 year old goes to bed