Health advice for my 8 year old overweight son please...

Taliahmai

Evening all...

Just after some advice about my lad really, he is 8 years old and weighs 8st 9lbs!! Now i know and more importantly he knows he is overweight, i either have to buy age 13 or small mens clothes!! Now i know all about the dissadvantaged about been overweight etc and believe me we are trying to help him loose it...but its just not working!

He is really self concious about his weight and does get really upset about it too.

We have changed his...well all of our..diets, he has always had a lot fruit and veg anyway and we have cut his sweet stuff right down, he does have 1 sweet or treat size bar of choc a day, if he has eaten all his dinner. but he loes his savory treats like sausage rolls and pork pies etc, which he usually has with a sandwhich for his lunch (followed by fruit)

We changed his diet back in Nov and he has only managed to lose 2 lb!! He also does a judo lesson (only started 2 weeks ago) which is for an hour on a friday night, but apart from walking home from school and playing out some nights, this is the only exercise he gets.

Is he too young to join a gym?? Can anyone else offer any advice about how he can lose the weight? I hate seeing him crying cause someone has been mean to him, or he has seen an advert/tv program about overweight people...he is convinced he is going to die soon because he is so overweight. Today in asda he asked if he could go to the toilet and when he didnt come straight back i went to look for him and found him where all the diet shakes and things are....he wanted me to put him on the biggest looser shake diet

Its heartbreaking

faithcecilia

Have you been to the gp? I would suggest that is the best place to start, and then maybe get referred to a dietitian if necessary. Personally, I would think he would be better with either a sausage roll or a sandwich for lunch, with some veg sticks or cherry tomatoes etc.

I think also, with young children, they tend to focus on changing the diet and stopping to put on weight more than losing it, so it gradually gets to a healthy weight whilst recognising that children are growing - so he may have only lost 2lb, but that is great because a child his age should be growing.

And I would definately try to stop beating yourself up, it won't change what has already happened, and guilt over food (even if its the food your son is eating) is a potential problem. It has happened, he is overweight, that can't be undone. But you can, together, make sure he isn't overweight in the future. Well done fro recognising it and deciding to do something about it.

cte1111

Couple of points:

1. Rewarding children for eating up all their food is teaching them to overeat, you need to teach him how to learn when he is full and stop eating at that point.

2. Having a chocolate or sweet snack every day may well be too many, consider limiting this to once a week.

I'm overweight BTW and am working very hard to ensure my kids aren't, although my 8 year old DD absolutely loves food so it is hard work. But sounds like you are on the right track. Maybe think about reducing his portion sizes and having fruit only for puddings. My kids moan about this occasionally but if there is nothing else available then that is that!

ellay864

I do sympathise as it must be hard seeing your son upset. I'm a bit confused as you say you've changed his diet but do you mean you've just cut sweets down? The sausage rolls and pork pies will also be just as bad in terms of the fat he'll be taking in - nothing wrong with the odd treat but from what you've said it sounds like he's having them (plural) every day.
What are his main meals like? Presumably you're avoiding fried foods, and trying healthier options like grilled chicken (minus skin) or fish. Low fat mince in home made meals and avoiding processed ready meals. If you have pasta, try wholemal and cook in a tomato based sauce rather than a creamy one.
I know when my son walks to school it's at a snail's pace, stopping to call for his mates every other house...he really should be doing brisk walking that'll get his heart rate up - sorry but a casual stroll won't make that much difference if he hasn't improved his diet that much.
Can you do more exercise as a family, but make it more like regular activity rather a focussed regime. How about the family all go out for walks together at weekends, maybe evenings when the clocks change and the evenings are lighter. Or take up some sport you can play with him like tennis or badminton. Does he like football? Many leisure centres will do football fun sessins, not competitive teams but just a session where the kids can run and have a kick around.
You'll all have to support him and make it become fun for him, and look at bringing in a healthier lifestyle generally rather than thinking of it as a diet now. I really hope you can help him as it must be so sad seeing him as upset as he seems

cte1111

re joining a gym, there are lots of different activities available for children, but IMHO a gym isn't the best option. I've read that 90% of weight loss is due to diet rather than exercise, although the media don't seem to agree with this currently. But I would think that increasing your son's activities towards a few more active ones - maybe swimming lessons or a sport he enjoys at school - would be more approachable for a young boy.

meritaten

hun if I read your post right - he not only has a sandwich but also a pork pie or sausage roll for lunch EVERY day? sorry, but that is WAY too much! I assume he is having a packed lunch? then YOU are in control of his diet.
I am also assuming that the pork pies/sausage rolls are shop bought? even if they are home made you are not doing him any favours by including those in his daily diet! Pastry is very high in fats and carbohydrates and shop bought ones can also be high in salt............then you give him a sandwich ...........bread is also high in carbohydrates!
its good that you include fruit. I do realise that you are trying your best, and its not easy to pack a healthy lunchbox for a child ...........but his lunchbox isnt healthy! or will help him lose weight!
Please dont let him try the diet shakes - they arent designed for growing children for a start!

I dont want to sound harsh but hun, you really need to learn what constitutes a healthy diet!

I dont disaprove of a treat during the day - but ONLY if he eats ALL his dinner? hmmmmm - what size portions do you give him hun? he should eat until his hunger is satisfied - cleaning his plate may mean he is eating more than he NEEDS! do you serve a main meal AND a dessert?
I really dont mean to have a go at you - but I have heard so many overwieght people who moan they cant lose weight and when you see the amount they actually eat during the day - you just have to wonder why they cant work out they are just eating too much and of the wrong things!

Iris_Blue

I agree about the GP , just to get him checked out.

This isn't a criticism, just my view.

I was surprised when you said about the sandwich and sausage roll, it should be one or the other. My lads wouldn't eat both, they couldn't if they wanted to. Another thing was you said if he eats all his dinner he gets a reward. I feel that is encouraging him to eat more..just to get some chocolate.

What is his potion size like? - Have you tried giving him a smaller plate to eat off, so he still feels like he's getting a decent meal. ( works for me!)

I don't think it's right for a child to join a gym..there's more fun things to do ..maybe family walks, a kick about in the park maybe.

faithcecilia

cte1111 wrote: »

Couple of points:

1. Rewarding children for eating up all their food is teaching them to overeat, you need to teach him how to learn when he is full and stop eating at that point.

2. Having a chocolate or sweet snack every day may well be too many, consider limiting this to once a week.

I had missed this. I think cte1111 is right here. My parents were the sort who always went on about 'starving children in Africa' and I was made to feel very quilty is I didn't eat everything on my plate. I am 31 now and only managed to get rid of that guilt about 4yrs ago. I'm not saying you do this to your son, but I feel quite strongly that food should be used as neither reward nor punishment. Rather, I think it should just be seen as fuel.

What about making sweet treats a weekend thing, say, a bar of chocolate on a Saturday and a pudding on a Sunday? I'm sure he would actually enjoy them far more if they were special rather than a part of his everyday diet.

squoog

Have you been to your GP? you should ask for a referral to a dietician in the first instance. also, the GP may want to do some health checks.
you say you have Changed his diet, but then mention he has pork pie and sandwiches for his lunCh, which may mean overall he is still having too many calories.
Do you have bikes? Can you get out at the weekend and eXercise, walk together.

Well done for recognising the problem and trying to change. I have been over weight since childhood. I wish I had got to grips with it as a child.
Do you know why he is overeating, it may be good to ask for a referral also to your local CAMHS (child and adolescent mental health service).
Good luck!

Spendless

How tall is he? We had an issue with my eldest (nearly) 11 last summer, when he put on a lot of weight quickly. As well as watching what he ate, he started doing more sport, swimming/ice-skating. When he was weighed recently he was back within guidlines, albeit at the top end.

Becles

Could you use the sausage rolls and pork pies as a treat? Say if he had a sandwich Mon-Thurs, he could have a sausage roll instead of the sandwich on a Friday? It does seem a lot having both as I'd send mine with just a sandwich or a sausage roll.

Have you tried going for walks? Start off slow and gradually increase the pace as he gets fitter. Alternating the tempo works the cadio system well, so you could walk fast to the first lamp post, slow to the second, fast to the third and so on.

We have dogs so mine have been brought up with regular walking from since they learned to walk, and it's free! Depending on where you live, it could be a nature lesson too. We just spotted some snowdrops in the woods today as my lot like looking out for things as the seasons change.

Have you got a Wii? The sports games and things like Just Dance are great fun to play and they are a form of exercise too. He might enjoy playing games like that, rather than sitting doing something.