Health advice for my 8 year old overweight son please...

Taliahmai

TBagpuss wrote: »

Lots of good advice on here.

A couple of things to add:
- It takes about 20 minutes for the 'I'm full' signal to get from stomach to brain. Consider giving a smaller portion of a meal - if, 20 minutes AFTER he finishes eating he is still hungry, let him have a little more. (And encoruage him to drink more with or before his meals, too)

-focus on fitness as much as, or more than weight. Find physical activities he enjoys - rugby would be great if he likes it (He can see it is possible to be both big & fit) but if he doesn't, explore other options such as swimming, walking, cycling. If he is self-conscious then something like the WiiFit, which he can do in private, may suit him. He is very self concious, ive just bought a fitness game and a dance game for the kinnect for us to play on toghether

- treats and sweets - consider having other types of treat, to help break the link where food=reward, and making the treats conditional - for instance, you only get one chocolate bar a week, but you don't get it if you have nagged for chocolate in the rest of the week; you can chose to have some extra pocket money instead of foodie treats (or 'save up' for bigger treats - e.g. 2 weeks with not sweets = choose a film to rent / 1 trip to the soft play centre/1 extra trip to swimming pool etc. He asked me this morning while we was talking if he could do a sticker chart for his 5 a day and if he eats them all or more during the week can we go to the soft play area after school one day. So i think this is something im definately going to do with him as it was his idea, we are going to make some charts when the other two are in bed tonight

- you mentioned that you eat together, whcih is great - do you ever have the TV or radio on while you're eating? There has been some recent research that if you eat with the TV n you are more likely to snack later on - it has something to do with the fact taht you are distracted while you eat and your brain doesn't 'notice' you've had a meal, so so get signals to say you need food! The tv is never on, i refuse to have a tv in my dining room, but we always have the radio on in the kitchen and you can hear that in the dining room too

-Is your son a member of the cubs or any similar organisation? They tend to be quite active, but it may also give him the opportunity to be with a slightly different group of kids to the ones at school He did actually ask me about this the other night, but the problem we have is the nearst club is quite far away and i dont drive, it also doesnt finish untill 8pm and my youngest daughter is always in bed for 7.30

- you mentioned thet your kids spend their weekend with their dad. Have you spoken to him? I suspect it will help your son if he feels he is getting support from his dad as well as you - does his daddo anything active with him? (Also, would it be possible for him to have any one-on-one time in the week when he & his dad could do something such as swimming, cycling together>? It might help with the issue of you not being able to do things because of the younger children, and also if his self esteem is suffering becasue of the problems at school, good, positive time with his dad, and the chance to exercise adn get fitter awy from possibly unsupportive peers may help, as well. Unfortunately he cant spend any more time with the kids as he works away all week so can only have them from a sat morning till a sunday tea time, he also wont just take my son as he then wouldnt see the others

- have you and his dad separated recently? I wonder whether part of the issue might be comfort eating. No we split up about a year and half ago

He has always ate like this...quite simply, because i have let him I think a lot of it is he sees me doing it so thinks it normal, im overweight too and eat for both comfort and bordem....this is something im trying to change!

margaretclare

Lots of good advice - I especially like what PolishBigSpender has said.

I tend to hark back to my childhood when we were very active just as a matter of course - a 2-mile walk to school. But also, we had NO sweets apart from the 3 ounces a week ration. Consequently, I haven't acquired the 'gotta have treats' mindset.

Broccoli has been described as the 'magic vegetable'. So long as it is bought as soon as possible from the field, and cooked straight away, because it deteriorates very quickly. Why sweet potato and ordinary potato as well?

Why does he take a lunch-box to school, why not stay for school dinners?

For myself, I've found that a lot of processed carbohydrates are bad news, and that includes a lot of the foods I grew up with! Anything with white flour, white sugar is a no-no for me.

Re lunch-boxes, have you tried a hard-boiled egg? Pure protein. That's one thing I haven't seen mentioned. I would get rid of the sausage rolls and white bread sandwiches for a start.

I agree about the length of time the stomach takes to register 'full'. That means: eating more slowly, eating food that takes time to be chewed and swallowed, eat at a table instead of in front of the TV. Eating in a social setting, with conversation, means you eat slower.

Just another few thoughts.

PS: The idea of putting children on to Xenical horrifies me. My DH had this a few weeks ago. Terrible side-effects! Someone told me that they ended up wearing a nappy because of the constant leakage of smelly fatty liquid from the rear end. This happened to DH one night, we ended up having to change the bed, it went right through the mattress cover and the stains were hard to shift. No more!

margaretclare

Eating for comfort and boredom - that seems to happen a lot. Have a look at this site https://www.weightlossresources.co.uk

I've found that a lot of help, but there are threads on the forums there about comfort eating. A lot of it is in a person's head, based on conditioning from way back, still in the subconscious. It is possible to change this yourself, though. Rather like re-programming or reverse brain-washing.

Taliahmai

margaretclare wrote: »

Lots of good advice - I especially like what PolishBigSpender has said.

I tend to hark back to my childhood when we were very active just as a matter of course - a 2-mile walk to school. But also, we had NO sweets apart from the 3 ounces a week ration. Consequently, I haven't acquired the 'gotta have treats' mindset.

Broccoli has been described as the 'magic vegetable'. So long as it is bought as soon as possible from the field, and cooked straight away, because it deteriorates very quickly. Why sweet potato and ordinary potato as well? We dont normally have both together, unless i sometimes do them as part of the sunday lunch...usually if we are having sweet potato its with either pasta or cous cous

Why does he take a lunch-box to school, why not stay for school dinners? Most of the time he does have school dinners, but at his school you can change ona day to day basis, and my son does sometimes ask for pack up for a change

For myself, I've found that a lot of processed carbohydrates are bad news, and that includes a lot of the foods I grew up with! Anything with white flour, white sugar is a no-no for me.

Re lunch-boxes, have you tried a hard-boiled egg? Pure protein. That's one thing I haven't seen mentioned. I would get rid of the sausage rolls and white bread sandwiches for a start. Egg is one of the things he doesnt like, he refuses to eat it no matter how it is cooked, unless it is in a picnic egg

I agree about the length of time the stomach takes to register 'full'. That means: eating more slowly, eating food that takes time to be chewed and swallowed, eat at a table instead of in front of the TV. Eating in a social setting, with conversation, means you eat slower. We do alays eat toghether at the table with no tv

Just another few thoughts.

PS: The idea of putting children on to Xenical horrifies me. My DH had this a few weeks ago. Terrible side-effects! Someone told me that they ended up wearing a nappy because of the constant leakage of fatty liquid from the rear end. This happened to DH one night, we ended up having to change the bed, it went right through the mattress cover. No more! blimey!, yes that is something i definatly refuse to put him through

Phil thank you!, geocashing has been mentioned to me before, i will have a look into that this afternoon

Taliahmai

I also had a look on ebay for a tredmill last night, and am currently bidding on one and a cross trainer...so fingers crossed

rozmister

The man I sit opposite at work has two sons around the age of your boy and they LOVE geocaching. They only started last week and all I hear atm is geocaching this and geocaching that. It's good because as well as getting them out it can involves puzzles and numbers which helps them to learn.

Xenical isn't an easy option and I would be VERY surprised if the Dr prescribed this for an 8 year old child. I was offered it recently by my Dr (I'm nearly 3st over a healthy weight for my height) but he warned me very seriously about it and all the side effects and basically told me that he didn't think it was suitable for me because I wasn't at a place in my life where all the extreme side effects were outweighed by the health implications of my body weight (I have none except I can't run far and I hate looking in mirrors!).

Maybe when you're bringing in food changes if you think there will be some resistance you could say to your DS that you want him to show his younger siblings how to be grown up and try new things. Make it sound like you are sure he is so grown up and mature he will try the things anyway but say you just want to be sure because he sets an example. This will make him feel valued and might mean he tries more new things.

Do you know about the proportions of each food group you should be putting on his plate? I find visualising a Diet Plate is good for this. Half the plate should be veg, a quarter should be protein and a quarter should be carbs. Carbs include sweet potato, BNS, peas, sweetcorn and parsnips so although they're one of your 5 a day you can't put them in that category!

It sounds like you really want to help your son, you must be a really good Mum. Good luck!

mountainofdebt

You mentioned a few posts back that your son wanted a fitness game for his xbox and you said no well.........

why not offer him a choice.

Give the treat bar a monetary value - can be the cost of the packet divided by the number of bars in the packet - and every day he forgoes the bar that money is put into a jar. When the jar contains the required amount he can buy the game.

Not only will you make sure that he wants the game and it isn't a passing fad (:D) he will be giving up the treat bar but feeling that he is in control

The other thing that strikes me is that whilst action is needed, you will need to have a think about how quickly these changes can be made so that they can be realistically kept to.

margaretclare

Taliahmai, thanks for your response. It's a pity about his dislike of eggs. I don't know what on earth we'd do without eggs! Most mornings, breakfast is a boiled egg and wholemeal toast. An omelette is the quickest, easiest, most nutritious and healthiest meal there is. However...

I wonder why you're cooking sweet potato AND cous-cous or pasta? All carbohydrates - do you need so many carbs in one meal?

I would recommend that you look at another of the boards on Martin's site, the 'I wanna...' and look at the 'Lose Weight 32' thread. A man who posts on there named Eric Pisch is extremely knowledgeable about carbs and the fact that, in terms of our evolutionary history, we just do not need them to the extent that is considered normal now. https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/3018332

HTH

ellay864

Please don't even think of the Xenical route....drugs should be a last resort, not an option for a young child where you've already established there are plenty of other things in terms of diet and exercise behaviours you can try.
I must say that when this thread first started, before I read it properly, I had visions of a lazy mum who just let her son eat all the junk he liked, but I am so impressed by your attitude. I do appreciate how hard it must be when you've got 2 other little ones, and things like swimming which many of us take for granted as a family activity aren't an option for you if you have nobody to support you. But it's so nice to see somebody come on here, ask for advice and then actually listen to whats said and be grateful, not just spitting the dummy out if someobdy suggests things you don't like or feel you can't do. You sound like a great mum who really wants to help her son, and it's good to see that you've already been able to get him involved in helping him with solutions

red_devil

my son was fairly big around age 11 but he got slimmer then and lost alot of weight.