How much have you told people/the children?

pollyanna24

Everyone seems to think we're made of money for some strange reason. BF doesn't like people thinking we're poor and tries to flash cash as much as poss which annoys me, cos then family think they can ask for handouts!

We bought and sold a house and made £30K on it and that's one reason think we're loaded! But our new mortgage is miles higher, so we're a lot poorer (if that makes sense).

My parents esp think we have money as they know roughly how much we earn and it is quite a bit more than them. But they don't have our mortgage and their rent is loads lower than ours, so they should have more disposable income, but they are just not sensible with their money.

jillie1974

i told my mum as i asked for help first. but havent told his parents the full story. in hindgiht i should have done as his mum is always passing on money tips and try doing this and that. which we already have done! but i think seeing as things have gotten desperate again we're going t have to tell them!
not looking forward to it...

livinginhope

pudding06 wrote:

I


ooh intriging. (sp) I dont know how i'd react. I quite like the fact that I 'think' im annonymous on here lol

Don't worry puds,you're not one of them I would never let on who they are,but I have to say,I think one of them knows I'm here because she said to me the other day 'we are always living in hope' and winked :eek: ,does that say to you that she knows me on here? it does to me,unless I'm being overly sensitive
Problem with me is,we live in such a remote,tight knit community everybody knows everybody and with my story it's VERY hard to remain annonymous,there surely can't be another who has such a disastrous life :rotfl:

OneSpike

We all seem quite similar. I know one reason I'm sheepish about mentioning it to my parents is that I don't want to lose their respect - other than this I've always been a capable, intelligent person who copes with stuff and makes shrewd decisions. The other thing is that Nathaniel has been married twice before and even though he and I were friends for years before we got together (in fact before he married his second wife!) and my parents really like him and tell me they've never seen me happier, I'm worried they'll think I've made a bad choice for a husband and father of their granddaughter, even though he's not single-handedly responsible for the mess we're in.

This really is the emotional side of it all, isn't it? On the upside Nathaniel has had a huge sniff from an existing client who's interested in upgrading the service they buy from him, they want to arrange a meeting and have even said they've budgetted for the increased costs from January, so fingers crossed it comes off. We're counting no yellow fluffies though! It wouldn't transform our situation, but it would offset losing the other client.

Sorry - also meant to say I was horrified about the person posting the bankrupcy notice, that really sucks. What goes around etc.

PercyPig

Serialdieter wrote:

Real chord with me too. I haven't told a living soul, except you lot.

Jx

I haven't told anyone either, except the good people on here. I am lucky in that my repayments are manageable (with some belt tightening admittedly) so as far as I am concerned, no one else needs to know. I also know it would upset my parents and they would worry and I don't want that.

I am glad there are other people on here who haven't told anyone. I haven't told my OH because the debts are mine - had most before we even met - and I wouldn't want him to feel he had to help me out financially as he earns quite a bit less than me.

cathybird

goonergirl wrote:

My son is 9 and I have been debating whether to tell him or not?... he asked the other night if I could open a bank account for him but as OH is going BR beginning of next year we can't he said "is that because your bank account is broken and daddy owes lots of money?"

this is sad ...

Psykicpup

I had no choice my daughter who was around 18-19 at the time managed to walk in on me crying having just found out the bank were reccalling my debit card......she has been wonderfull & very supportive
Now I'm near enough debt free & working on rebuilding my credit I actually found my self explaining what I had been through to my bro at a family party with everyone looking on in amazement - I was kinda proud at that mo to show them all just what I can do - & to think they hadnt noticed I had stopped borrowing from them lol!

pms

I had no choice but to tell my ex flat mate as I was living there when things were extremely bad. My Boyfriend was next then my brother and sister in law. My boss at work as it was affecting me at work, she was fantastic and someone I can talk to about alot of things. I also told 3 work mates who have been great and extremely supportive. Several other work collegues know I have money problems but not the full extent of it. Finally my parents who I told with lots of encouragement from people on the DFW board and they have been so supportive after their initial bawl out.

chevalier

If you are worried about what acquaintances think, then you could say that you are saving up to overpay your mortgage, so that you pay less interest. As for the children, then yes you should tell them as then MAYBE you won't have the big arguements about why they can't do this or that, ie because they know it is because you can't afford it.

Not sure if we have seen a Statement of Accounts yet, would it help to put one up, you never know where we might find some potential savings!

best of luck
chev

bajanwoman

I always think that there is a limit to who you tell. For instance, my children who are teenagers have always known that I am struggling as I have told them. I recently told my dad, who was shocked at the amount of debt I was in. He has tried to help, which I appreciate but I do not wish him to put himself in any debts by taking out loans for me, as he is retiring soon and needs the money himself. A few close friends and my partner is aware of my position also and they are fine with it, especially when I am unable to go out with them.