How much have you told people/the children?

lou_lou_skinty_poos

Xbigman wrote:

I told everyone when I had money problems. When I went bankrupt I only told family and a select few friends, only to go to work and someone had cut out my bankruptcy notice from the paper and stuck it on the notice board. At the time I was pretty hacked off but looking back I think it was a good thing. For instance, how do you hide your house being repossessed?
Regards



X

was shocked by that sticking your bankrupcy details on the board bit!!!!:eek: i cant believe people would be that nasty

anyway to the original point my friends know my oh and some people in work my mum knows i owe money but not how much id never tell my dad!!!

i dont think its a particularily shameful thing to be in debt i find everyone is in some form of debt that i speak too im of the opinion that ive learnt my lesson and once am debt free (long way off yet!!!!) that i wont be gettin any credit ever again so as im in my early twentys i think ive learnt my lesson at the right time. Im sure your kids can handle it and would appreciate your honesty it'll be a load off your mind to not have to worry about all the secrecy of being in debt good luck

davethecue

Xbigman wrote:

I told everyone when I had money problems. When I went bankrupt I only told family and a select few friends, only to go to work and someone had cut out my bankruptcy notice from the paper and stuck it on the notice board. At the time I was pretty hacked off but looking back I think it was a good thing. For instance, how do you hide your house being repossessed?
Regards



X

What a nasty thing to do. Hope you believe in Karma and they get theirs

I have told my Ex and my 2 kids(both grown up) but no one else. I have told my family I have had to change my job to explain cash flow shortage
I live at the other end of the country from them so hopefully there is no reason they should find out
It is strange how we keep secrets from our nearest and dearest. i guess that's how some of us got into this mess in the first place
good luck

immoral_angeluk

We've told friends and close family because we're proud of how well we're doing and want to set an example to everyone else, because if we can do it, anyone can! Especially as we're on a low income with a toddler and another on the way!

Gemmzie

I am the child sorting my parents debts so they've told me, except my dad's single accounts which he won't speak to anyone about even my mother.

No-one else knows though, it's no-one's business

misfire

xbigman - WOW what an awful person at your work - i think many people love to revel in others problems and dont realise who close they are to the same situation.

My son knows that there are limits to what he can have - if we dont have the pennies he cant have it or he has to save or use the money my nan gives him when he goes to see her. (he calls it his dosh! but when its gone its gone... so he does spend it wisely) he is 7.

BUT i dont want my son worrying about money - my friends son has an allowance and when it is gone its gone (if he wants a drink in a cafe when they are out he pays out of his money if he doesnt have any he doesnt get a drink) and he worries excessively about money. I know they want him to know the value of things and not get in debt but i feel it is blighting his life as he is one of lifes worriers.

I am honest with my best friend - no one else needs to know! being able to post on here helps as i can talk about debt without feeling people are discussing me or looking at my life and making incorrect judgements.

livinginhope

I have told my parents (well they forced it out of me) who in turn told my brother and probably the rest of my family,although they haven't said.
Only 1 of my friends know,I have only known her a very short while,but she has problems too and told me hers,so I felt the urge to come clean,she was amazing and is very supportive.
Regarding the kids,my DS who's 8,knows we are short of money,but wouldn't understand,DD just knows we have to be careful with electricity and heating,she's only 5.
I have put 2 names to people on here,who are very good friends of mine,don't know if they have recognised me ,but if they have,hi!,I'm dying to tell them,but if they wanted me to know their debt they would have told me.
LIH

Serialdieter

Real chord with me too. I haven't told a living soul, except you lot.

Jx

goonergirl

My son is 9 and I have been debating whether to tell him or not?
a) Just incase anyone ever comes to the house/phone calls
b) cos he is quite smart and may see forms etc
he asked the other night if I could open a bank account for him but as OH is going BR beginning of next year we can't he said "is that because your bank account is broken and daddy owes lots of money?" (he had looked over my shoulder when I was checking accounts online banking!! see they take in so much!)
but like me he is a worrier (not quite as bad as me cos I have olympic medals for worrying!!)
but Im not sure how to put things to him and how much detail to explain, My OH just says no one needs to know. (but secretly I have told my Best friend)

any ideas on what others have said would be good!

a
x

pudding06

I wouldnt tell my elderly parents or parents in law becasue it would worry them sick - and theyre already in very poor health.

I have told my kids were in debt, and explained that we have a tight budget but as everything is left up to me I havent sat down and given details of how much - in fact even my OH doesnt know exactly how much we owe. Its not hidden from him, as there are unlocked spreadsheets with all the totals on - he just trusts me to deal with it in the best way.

I wouldnt tell anyone esle.

In your case I would keep to the fact that youve lost a major client for the business, which means that things are bad at the moment regariding clash flow in the business but that you hope it will improve. That way you can reassure the kids but make them realise that things will be very difficult in the meantime. If things look like theyre getting worse then they will be better prepared than if they knew nothing.

I would be careful though not to burden them too much with 'adult worries' as obviouly theres a lot else going on in their lives at the moment.

I hope this helps. I work with teenagers, and sometimes they really worry about parents and faimly stuff, becasue they talk to us about it. THey will know something is wrong, and with furtile teenage imaginations, may think its something much worse than it is!!!!

good luck with whatever you decide - only you know how mature they are and how much they can be told,

pudds

pudding06

I

have put 2 names to people on here,who are very good friends of mine,don't know if they have recognised me ,but if they have,hi!,I'm dying to tell them,but if they wanted me to know their debt they would have told me.

ooh intriging. (sp) I dont know how i'd react. I quite like the fact that I 'think' im annonymous on here lol