What would you do?

messysituation

Hi,


I'm posting this under a different user name as i know people who use mse and don't want this linked with my normal user name and as it's such a delicate situation I don't want people to guess anyone whose involved.


Ok here goes.


Child A accuses Child B of sexual abuse.

We had a visit from the police and a social worker to interview my child as Child B used my childs name as a way to get child A to go along with it - e.g Child B says to Child A "well me and C did it so it's fine".

Now thankfully for my child (and with great praise to the police and their handling of the whole thing ) all that had happened with my child was Child B asked to see my childs "privates", they said no and nothing else happened. I spoke to my child after the police had gone and im convinced it's the truth (ive never been so scared to ask my child some questions).

I know another child's name came up and that they were interviewed as well.

I know Child A's mum a little bit and she phoned after the police had been to apologise for bringing my child into the situation but felt she had to because of what was said which now means i know more about the whole thing than i would've normally.

She then phoned a few weeks later to let me know that the police had done all they could and the case had been passed onto a particular childs service( i cant remember which one) and that she would not be told anything further unless they wanted to talk to Child A.


All 4 children mentioned (mine included) are in the same class at school and the police said they would have to inform the teacher etc of the situation because of this.

Now here comes the part I'm really getting stressed over.

Their class is going on a school trip soon and it means a night away from home and I'm freaking out that my child will end up sharing a room with Child B.

I don't know Child A or B well enough to know if the accusations are
true.
I would like to think a child wouldn't lie about abuse but i think that would be naive but i also know that child to child abuse happens.

Because it's sexual abuse i'm finding it really hard to look at it with a clear head.

Do you think its ok for me to phone the school and say that I do not want my child sharing a room with Child B?


Hope you can give me some honest opinions on what you would do.


Thanks

Money_maker

Difficult situation. What age band are we talking?

Plans_all_plans

In this situation, I would not be sending my child on the school trip.

Caroline_a

Oh my goodness, you poor thing. I think that in your shoes, I'd probably speak to the head at the school.

meritaten

if no action is being taken - then normal childhood curiosity about another childs 'bits' may well be the cause...........or it may be that not enough evidence is there for prosecution.
as your child has been investigated then you would be perfectly within your rights to insist that they werent roomed together.
but personally, I would just keep my child at home hun! I wouldnt want to chance being investigated again!

messysituation

Plans_all_plans wrote: »

In this situation, I would not be sending my child on the school trip.

I don't want to stop my child from doing something they would really enjoy because of something their not involved in.
My child knows nothing about the accusations made about Child B because of the way the police phrased the questions and I'm not worried about my child accept in the situation (it all happened outside of school) of the sleeping arrangements.


The age band is 8 to 10.

Plans_all_plans

Do the school not know about these accusations at all then? I can't see how they'll be able to room anyone else with the other child once they find out, if the investigation has not been resolved.

soupdragon10

Could you have a quiet word with teacher/head and ask if they have carried out a risk assessment for Child B going on this trip and staying overnight? The school do have a duty of care while the children are on these trips surely.

messysituation

meritaten wrote: »

if no action is being taken - then normal childhood curiosity about another childs 'bits' may well be the cause...........or it may be that not enough evidence is there for prosecution.

This is what i feel makes it tricky as the police have passed it on to a child services so i take that to mean that there are more investigations taking place just not by the police.

as your child has been investigated then you would be perfectly within your rights to insist that they werent roomed together.
but personally, I would just keep my child at home hun! I wouldnt want to chance being investigated again!

My child was just interviewed to see if they had been abused also - Im so thankfull they were'nt.

What worries me is my child being in the same room as B.

messysituation

soupdragon10 wrote: »

Could you have a quiet word with teacher/head and ask if they have carried out a risk assessment for Child B going on this trip and staying overnight? The school do have a duty of care while the children are on these trips surely.

Am I allowed to do this?

As this has also been worrying me as i feel they really shouldn't be allowing Child B to go on a trip if they are being investigated for abuse as what would happen if they then did it to another child?

I also know other parents of children who occasionaly play with Child B and feel I'm doing something wrong by not informing them.

And then i think but what if the accusations arent true.

I cant really talk to anyone i would normally as i live in a small town where everyone knows everyone.


Honestly my head is in knots about the whole thing.

Ms_Chocaholic

The Headteacher of the school will be aware of what has been going on and will be involved in any meetings involving the Police/Children's Services etc. If I were in your shoes, I'd ask to meet with the Headteacher and explain that you know the situation involving Child B and ask what the school are intending to do on the trip to ensure your own child is protected.