How do you 'teach' initiative?

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Initiative can be overrated.

It is what results in finding your 10 year old has taken a screwdriver and dismantled the lamp because it stopped working and changing the bulb didn't work.

Or a 4 year old taking her wardrobe door off its hinges because it doesn't quite close properly.

It gets you a child in the process of sticking a wire coathanger down the dishwasher hose, having already cleaned the filter and disconnected the drain pipe in an effort to hide the fact that she didn't bother scraping her plates off when she loaded it.

Or climbing up an 8 foot wall to let herself via the bedroom window as she forgot her keys.


It ages you prematurely in a way that asking someone to do something doesn't.

gratefulforhelp_2

Errata wrote: »

Males and dogs need very clear verbal instructions. They only use their initiative when they're doing something they shouldn't be.

:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

Kaz2904

Jojo_the_Tightfisted wrote: »

Initiative can be overrated.

It is what results in finding your 10 year old has taken a screwdriver and dismantled the lamp because it stopped working and changing the bulb didn't work.

Or a 4 year old taking her wardrobe door off its hinges because it doesn't quite close properly.

It gets you a child in the process of sticking a wire coathanger down the dishwasher hose, having already cleaned the filter and disconnected the drain pipe in an effort to hide the fact that she didn't bother scraping her plates off when she loaded it.

Or climbing up an 8 foot wall to let herself via the bedroom window as she forgot her keys.


It ages you prematurely in a way that asking someone to do something doesn't.

Hmm, there speaks a voice of experience? :rotfl:

Plans_all_plans

You can't teach initiative. It comes when someone HAS to do something for themselves e.g. I was never a help to my mother around the house (to my shame now I'm older), even if she asked, I never did things because she would always do them if I didn't. I was able to be lazy and took advantage. Once I had a family of my own I HAD to do things, so now they get done.

I think there have to be consequences for NOT doing things, otherwise people won't do them unless they have to.

Spendless

As my husband puts it 'It's not obvious to me' (he's 45!)

skintchick

*Louise* wrote: »

You can't.

You just congratulate yourself on having a son who will do the ironing and be content with that You are very lucky.

Expecting him to think about doing it himself just aint going to happen....give up now before it turns you grey :rotfl:

Would you say the same if it were a daughter?

I hate the idea that men can;t be expected to remember to do chores, bless them, and we women can clear up after them. No! They can blooking well learn to do it! I'd just do a list of chores for everyone and make them get on with it. Worked for my OH when we got married :cool:

tanith

My sons idea of initiative now he is a big boy (35 & head honcho of his department) is to hire someone to pick up and clean after him and take his dirty stuff to the cleaners... I gave up trying to teach him long ago

moggylover

LMAO! Seems that we all suffer from the same thing (and I don't think it is only men/boys tbh, a friend complains the same thing with her daughters: they will do the things but only if it is pointed out that they need doing).

I'll fess up that I was hopeless at doing things for my mum unless she had pointed them out to me (and I feel bad about that even now I am 52:o) I think it is just "being a kid/teenager", oh, and the male ones seldom grow out of it;):)

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Kaz2904 wrote: »

Hmm, there speaks a voice of experience? :rotfl:

Does it show?

(Mind you, the other DD could put some bread under the grill and wander off to watch TV at the age of 16 and not notice her 10 year old sister dashing over her through clouds of toasty smoke billowing through the hallway, switch off the grill, get an oven glove, remove the flaming toast and dump it in the sink under running water, open the windows, get a stool and disarm the screeching smoke alarm until she would come back in and yell to her -

'I think your toast is a little overdone'

and then all the younger one would get is 'Huh? How do you know it's not OK?')


:wall: :wall: :wall:

*Louise*

skintchick wrote: »

Would you say the same if it were a daughter?

I hate the idea that men can;t be expected to remember to do chores, bless them, and we women can clear up after them. No! They can blooking well learn to do it! I'd just do a list of chores for everyone and make them get on with it. Worked for my OH when we got married :cool:

Of course I would have - the OP referred to a son so I merely said she is lucky her 'son' does that.

If someone has a teenage daughter who does the ironing then they should obviously count themselves lucky as well....should I also perhaps mention the same goes for husbands, uncles, brothers, sisters, mothers, grannies, grandads and aunties just in case anyone else gets irritated because I only referred to a 'son' in reponse to the OP.....I thought that would be a rather lengthy post tbh but y'know.....if you're going to suggest that there's any sexism involved I will include everyone....:cool: