Not Really Sure What To Call This Post

helphelphelphelp

Sorry this post isnt really money saving but dont know where else to post.

Have just had some devastating news - my brother has just comitted suicide. He is my only sibling and at the moment I am feeling torn between feeling shell shocked and angry. Numb in that I will never see him or speak to him again, and angry in that he felt this was the only way out of what ever problems he had. Problems that he felt he couldnt confide with us about.

Over the past couple of years he lost his only child to still birth and I lost my son at 10 months, so knowing what grief can do to a person I feel angry that he is putting us through it all again by taking his own life. But also sad that he felt his problems were so bad that he wasnt able to deal with them.

And if I feel this bad now, dreading how much worse it is going to be when it hits me for real. Also have to tell my 10 year old daughter that her uncle who she idolises is no longer here, and worse still, how he died, and she has been through so much.

Sometimes life really is hard.

Cara79

Gosh I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. I don't know what I can say that would help but I just wanted to send you lots of hugs & to know that I am so sorry.

xxx

BitterAndTwisted

You're right, it is sometimes. I cannot conceive how you must be feeling right now and can't find any words to offer as solace. I hope you can find a way to get some sense out of this and perhaps some peace. I wish you well and offer my sincere condolences to you and your family.

Bennifred

Extremely sorry for your loss.:(

escortg3

I am so sorry to hear your news. A bereavement effects people in different ways and its okay to be angry. Please ask for help from a doctor for your self or your daughter if you are finding it difficult.

faithcecilia

I am so, so sorry to hear this. In the next few days, weeks, months and even years you will go through every emotion imagineable (I have done when my mother almost suceeded) and you need to allow yourself to feel it.

I would try to be honest with your daughter but assure her he loved her and she is in no way responsible for what happened. Let her know its okay to talk about him, and about what has happened - you may find it hard but she may need to do it to come to terms with.

I agree with seeing the doctor too if you need it, at least to get you through the first few weeks.

Take care of yourself too xx.

squoog

I am so, so sorry. You are right, life can be so hard and so unfair.
I hope you have some support around you. Take each day or even each hour at a time, in this awful place you have found yourself in.
Be easy on yourself, your feelings will be all over the place.

I could ramble on, but sadly I know that nothing can take away the pain you must be in right now. Please know that you are in my thoughts and I wish you strength to cope and courage to go on. I'm glad you felt able to express yourself on here.

soupdragon10

So very sorry to hear of your devestating loss. I hope you and your family find the strength to support one another through such an awful time. My thoughts are with you and your family.

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

I'm sorry.

Perhaps you need to take a period to just let the anger out before you speak to your DD. Not long, but just some time so you can cope better with your daughter's reaction. And I second the suggestion to get help from your GP for both of you sooner rather than later. Even a drive to somewhere out of the way where you can scream as loud as you need, might help.

Does his partner have any support? If not, and you aren't able to do so, it might be a good thing to direct her to her GP for help as well - it would appear that there hasn't been enough support for their first loss, and she must also be under almost unbearable strain now.

I hope you all are able to help each other and am so sorry for your losses.

zzzLazyDaisy

I am so sorry for your loss. I lost my sister in similar circumstances, 10 years ago. There is nothing anyone can say that will make things any easier, but eventually you will come to some form of acceptance of what has happened. For now, you are in shock, so be kind to yourself, and gentle with your daughter.

Sending you hugs

Daisy

dark_lady

I am so sorry to hear of your loss. My deepest sympathies to you and the rest of your family.