How do you find someone..?

hieveryone

I've just finished with someone (my choice) because I felt like there was no 'spark' and no real passion to the relationship.

It got me thinking though, how will I meet someone? I am 26 years old, and work in a female dominated profession. I have moved around a bit for work and don't have many 'true' friends, and those that I do have are coupled up or younger than me and just want to go out and party.

I work my backside off Mon-Fri and come the weekend I am knackered to do anything. And even if I did want to do anything, I wouldn't know what because of lack of friends issue.

I have tried internet dating before but couldn't quite handle coming home to 150 mental messages in my inbox :rotfl::rotfl:

Any suggestions?

Edited to add: I'm also at uni part time, so go one evening a week and some Saturdays.

GlasweJen

Same situation, no advice but just wanted to wish you luck.

sjc3

If you can muster the energy and time join a gym. Mine has a fab social apsect to it, they arrange all kinds of things. Met my oh through it a few years back. If its any consolation I believe the saying goes "love comes along when you least expect it". Dont try to hard to find it and it will come along at some point.

Edited as I wanted to say sorry if last couple of sentences make me sound like a right smug married mare - not meant that way honestly.

hieveryone

GlasweJen wrote: »

Same situation, no advice but just wanted to wish you luck.

GlasweJen, I'm a smart cookie it has been said, and I *think* you may be from Glasgow, same as me? :-/

sjc3, I honestly couldn't think of anything worse than joining a gym to be honest I literally am on my feet all day running around like a blue @rsed fly, so then going on to pounding a treadmill is my idea of hell.

Unless Gerard Butler is a regular at my local gym. Then I would consider walking on it at a slight incline. :rotfl::rotfl:

GlasweJen

Yup, I'm a weegie. I know there's lots to do in Glasgow but I don't have the energy after work and family commitments!

Tropez

Perhaps you could think of things that interest you and then look for local social clubs catering to those interests?

If, for example, you're into film then join a film club, or if you like photography, a photography club. That sort of thing. Social clubs of the more intellectual or academic variety (say a book club or creative writing club) will often advertise at main libraries, so if that is your thing perhaps take a look there?

As you're on a part time uni course then you can perhaps see if the university themselves offer any clubs that might cater towards your interests.

If you're into the theatre, some of them offer various special days, or memberships, that grant you access to more socially minded events.

Yoga classes might be a good place to make some new friends, although I gather that you're not likely to meet many men there - but it is still an opportunity, if it appealed to you.

Bloomin_Freezing2

I have felt like you in the past, I think it's only natural when a relationship ends to wonder if and how you will meet anyone else. I used to go out every weekend, remember thinking that all the blokes in the pubs in my town were either friends of an ex or just not my type. I thought I would never meet anyone. It happens though.

I first met my now hubby when we were both sent on the same 3 day first aid course by our employers. I liked the look of him and it made the 3 day course fun, and worth dressing up for a little bit! I did not dare approach him, I was far too scared to ask him out. (probably due to no dutch courage!!) Anyway, after a bad day at work and thinking *od it I will go out with girlfriends I bumped into him (about 3 weeks after the course). He approached me, took my number and we went out. He came back to mine (naughty I know!) and never went home. We have 2 girls and have been together 7 years. It was meant to be, I was drinking at my usual club, but it was not his usual, he and his friend were looking for their mates, not planning on staying the night. I just happened to be facing the direction of the dance floor having just got a drink. Had I still been waiting to get served we would not have seen each other.

What i'm trying to say is it will happen. I didn't believe in all this 'fate' business really but now I do. You may meet your dream man next time you are doing your weekly shop!

Nottoobadyet

First of all, chill out a bit! You're only days / weeks out of a relationship and theres no need to jump right back in. Be independent and enjoy singledom for at least a few weeks before throwing your hat back in.

Is there anything you are passionate about you could volunteer for a few hours on a weekend? I've met some lovely blokes (as friends, not dates as I'm not on the market) through volunteering, even for feminist organizations that you wouldn't think had that many blokes lining up!

Could you start a come dine with me rotation with your friends, and hint that you'd like them to bring a single mate to yours? Most people are sensible enough not to bring someone whose a complete embarrassment to a dinner party.

Check out the Meetup website and see if there are any groups in your area that you fancy.

Personally I don't know how anyone makes friends in a gym... surely those places are for glaring at each other or for grunting at yourself in the mirror!

purplegirluk1

Honestly I think these things happen when you least expect it. As long as you are interacting with people regularly you will meet someone. I have recently started seeing a wonderful man, he is my hairdresser and has been for over 7 years! I know it's so easy to say but when you stop looking it will happen.

hieveryone

Just to clarify, as I realise I do sound like a raving loony in the first post, I was single for about 3 years before I started the relationship that I'm just out of. Incidentally that only lasted 6 months. So, I am ready to be in a relationship, just not the one I was in.

I think the biggest thing is what purplegirl mentioned, I'm not interacting with people on a regular basis really. I spend my days with 5 year olds, and there are no males in my workplace. Things are pretty stressful at work so when I'm not at work I'm sleeping usually!

Will check out the meetup website though, thanks.

balletshoes

How do you find someone? Stop looking!!
Seriously, concentrate on you, please yourself, thats how to come across as content and confident in yourself, and thats very attractive .