Too secretive?

Fiddlestick

glider3560 wrote: »

When people ask why I seem to have so much money, I find it very difficult to respond as I've never spoken openly about my money before (except to my parents). Simple answer is that I don't waste it or have things I don't really need.

Why do you find it difficult?

Just tell them what you said here - that you don't waste money or buy things you don't need. That's a perfectly sensible answer

Sharon87

Lokolo wrote: »

To be honest, I'm exactly the same, but I do it cause im a nosey so and so.

I also find money interesting, hence my huge post count on this forum!

Yeah I guess I find money interesting too. Maybe I should have worked with money in my job lol. Well I guess I still could go down a different route working out budgets in my industry.

Bloomberg

scottishminnie wrote: »

I couldn't agree more - I work on a need to know basis only and very few people need to know in my opinion. Unfortunately it's taken a long number of years for my husband to be selective about what he tells his family. Him and I have always been careful with our money, not mean and certainly not going without nice holidays and quality things but we are shrewd about how we spend it and I delight in money saving and creating income.

This was what enabled us to pay off our mortgage 13 years early. Possibly because he was proud of our achievement my husband chose to share this with his father who then discussed it with the rest of his siblings and the jealousy and bile which spewed from them as a result was unbelievable. Comments about how we had it good and how lucky we were and what low lifes we were for choosing to do this rather than sharing spare cash with them.


In our case luck had absolutely nothing to do with it. A focussed plan and self control got us there. Sadly there are too many people who think the world owes them something.


Sorry Bloomberg - your post has prompted a bit of a rant on my part. In response to your original question, I think your approach is very sensible:)

No need to say sorry. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us, jealousy is not restricted to friends by any means. Even your siblings became jealous and resentful which was probably not what you expected from them. There is nothing lucky about your situation, you worked hard and remained focused on your goal.

What you describe is very sad but it does demonstrate the benefits of secrecy so well. Why should you share your cash with them? Such attitudes really do rile me. People really never cease to amaze me with their jealousy - as a result my faith in human nature is at an all time low. All the best.

bendix

I disagree with every sentiment on this thread, and can't understand why us Brits are so squeamish and sensitive about money. I lived in Asia for many years and they are much more open. One of the first quesitions you get asked by people you meet is how much you earn. They don't consider it rude at all; in fact, if you are evasive when asked such a question, they will think you are the one being rude.

As for being asked for loans . . simple. Say yes, or no. Up to you.

FatVonD

I gave up telling my mother how much I earned years ago because she delights in telling everyone she knows (it's the only thing she's proud of me for.)

I however delight in not telling her to deny her the pleasure

Bloomberg

bendix wrote: »

I disagree with every sentiment on this thread, and can't understand why us Brits are so squeamish and sensitive about money. I lived in Asia for many years and they are much more open. One of the first quesitions you get asked by people you meet is how much you earn. They don't consider it rude at all; in fact, if you are evasive when asked such a question, they will think you are the one being rude.

As for being asked for loans . . simple. Say yes, or no. Up to you.

How much do you earn?:think:

How much cash have you got saved up?:think:

What is the total value of any shares you own?:think:

Bloomberg

Sharon87 wrote: »

I think it's good to be open about finances to certain people. Depends on who they are, family and partners and sometimes friends. My family know how much debt I've roughly got and a couple of friends too. I'm always curious about other people's finances though, never ask cause it feels rude, but I always want to know how much my friends earn!

I guess that you are just curious about other people's money to maybe gauge how well you are doing. Either way I do not think that your wanting to know is unhealthy, nor I detect any malice. You are also well mannered enough not to put people on the spot by asking them how much they earn. All the best.

Abbafan1972

I don't discuss my finances with anyone other than who I need to. And I don't ask other people about theirs.

It annoys me people say they can't afford this etc and quite openly waste money on other things.

My Mom for example wants to buy a laptop (she has never used one and never had the internet), also she "promised" my dd's she would buy a Wii for her house ages ago and it hasn't materialised because she "can't afford it". Although she can afford to waste money on cigarettes it seems. :mad:

Bloomberg

Abbafan1972 wrote: »

I don't discuss my finances with anyone other than who I need to. And I don't ask other people about theirs.

It annoys me people say they can't afford this etc and quite openly waste money on other things.

My Mom for example wants to buy a laptop (she has never used one and never had the internet), also she "promised" my dd's she would buy a Wii for her house ages ago and it hasn't materialised because she "can't afford it". Although she can afford to waste money on cigarettes it seems. :mad:

A lot of people say they are hard up but they still have the latest iPhone and the full SKY package.

'Don't tell me what your priorities are, show me where you spend your money and I will tell you what your priorities are.'

Lokolo

To be fair, even people on MSE are like that when they first come, post their SOAs and it shows £30 a month for TV and Broadband... yet they are £x in debt paying 20% APR!