Too secretive?

Bloomberg

property.advert wrote: »

Better that people don't know where you live either in some circumstances or what you do or which way you turn on entering the plane etc. It only serves to fuel their jealousy.

That makes sense in a very remote way.

glider3560

I'm at uni and always hear people discussing their finances. I just keep quiet and make a small white lie when asked anything (i.e. make my situation worse than it is).

I know (fact) that I have less income than my friends. I don't get any money from my parents (other than the odd bit of shopping) and have to pay for everything myself either from my loan, grant or from work. I manage fine and always have money left over. On the other hand, my friends have their accommodation paid by their parents and get given "allowances" on top of their loan, then still moan about having no money left.

When people ask why I seem to have so much money, I find it very difficult to respond as I've never spoken openly about my money before (except to my parents). Simple answer is that I don't waste it or have things I don't really need.

scottishminnie

I couldn't agree more - I work on a need to know basis only and very few people need to know in my opinion. Unfortunately it's taken a long number of years for my husband to be selective about what he tells his family. Him and I have always been careful with our money, not mean and certainly not going without nice holidays and quality things but we are shrewd about how we spend it and I delight in money saving and creating income.

This was what enabled us to pay off our mortgage 13 years early. Possibly because he was proud of our achievement my husband chose to share this with his father who then discussed it with the rest of his siblings and the jealousy and bile which spewed from them as a result was unbelievable. Comments about how we had it good and how lucky we were and what low lifes we were for choosing to do this rather than sharing spare cash with them.

In our case luck had absolutely nothing to do with it. A focussed plan and self control got us there. Sadly there are too many people who think the world owes them something.


Sorry Bloomberg - your post has prompted a bit of a rant on my part. In response to your original question, I think your approach is very sensible:)

Tupperware_Queen

equally, I have a work colleague who constantly claims she is 'broke' and is really struggling. She shops only in next for her kids clothes, regularly spending £2-300 in the sales, and they have foreign holidays every year (going to Cuba later this year!) We recently had a colleague retire, and she pled poverty and only gave £1. (OK, thats up to her, but this person has been a long and trusted colleague, and we are not a team that have loads of collections - it literally is just weddings and babies and retirements) We work for the NHS, so I know roughly what she earns, and her hubby is in a good job too.


On the other hand, as a result of marriage break up, I have had to leave my family home (it will be repossessed) and declare myself BR due to debts left behind by ex. When I am struggling to put food on the table, and clothe my kids in basic items, with no prospect of any kind of holiday this year, her constant whinging really gets my goat. It's creating an atmosphere at work, as she has annoyed at least one other person who is really in financial dire straights.

Far better that she learnt to keep her financial matters private!!

Sharon87

I think it's good to be open about finances to certain people. Depends on who they are, family and partners and sometimes friends. My family know how much debt I've roughly got and a couple of friends too. I'm always curious about other people's finances though, never ask cause it feels rude, but I always want to know how much my friends earn!

Tupperware_Queen

Sharon87 wrote: »

I'm always curious about other people's finances though, never ask cause it feels rude, but I always want to know how much my friends earn!

why??? does it matter? would it change how you treated them, or your expectations of them?

cmatt

The only people that know my finances is my mother and partner. My mum has been through the mill over the years so know hows to handle the last penny sensibly and my partner is VERY astute with money. Both of which have been fantastic help over the last year or so. With others I either make a joke about it or change the subject.

Sharon87

Tupperware_Queen wrote: »

why??? does it matter? would it change how you treated them, or your expectations of them?

No, it's just a thing. Don't know why, just curious. Doesn't mean I'll treat anyone differently. if I know.

Tupperware_Queen

Sharon87 wrote: »

No, it's just a thing. Don't know why, just curious. Doesn't mean I'll treat anyone differently. if I know.

you know what they say, curiousity killed the cat!!

Lokolo

Sharon87 wrote: »

No, it's just a thing. Don't know why, just curious. Doesn't mean I'll treat anyone differently. if I know.

To be honest, I'm exactly the same, but I do it cause im a nosey so and so.

I also find money interesting, hence my huge post count on this forum!