Please help - Now her 'incapactity benefits' have stopped she wants me to pay!

shellsuit

You should be paying anyway, regardless of whether her incapacity benefits have stopped or not.

Your child can't live off fresh air and It's not fair to expect her Mum to pay for everything, so I can only suggest you get your priorities right.

Stop trying to wriggle out of your responsibilities and do the right thing by your daughter.

ohdamnit

FBaby wrote: »

My ex doesn't pay me any maintenance either and doesn't think there is anything wrong with it. His view is that his money should go towards his new family (which includes a girlfriend who has never worked, her two boys and the baby they have on the way), and only if he has a bit left over should this go towards our two children. He sees them every week, so not like I am stopping contact. At the moment, he is doing temporary work, but I guess he thinks he is not earning enough to give me a penny towards our children. Yes he feeds them when they are there, but I buy their uniforms and shoes, pay for their lunches, pay for their childcare (£200 a month after school clubs), pay for their transport, the presents for when they are invited to parties (even when it takes place whilst they are with him), their school trips and day out, their orthodontic treatments, etc... and that comes to a LOT MORE than what he pays for a few meals.

You need to open your eyes to the reality, that is that you are putting your youngest children above your eldest. It won't be long until she realises this and if your wife can't see that what you are doing is very wrong, she is a very selfish person.

Agreed I have my daughter 4 days in 14 ( I would have more but PWC won't), pay for clothes, uniforms, etc, and paid 23% of my income. As well as having a new baby with NRPP, my partner is fine about it and accepts I support my LO, although feels unfair when ex is going on holiday three times this year and we can't afford a week in a caravan!

Your ex is an !!!!!!, and the kind of person that annoys me too.

duchy

Did I read this right....You stopped paying child support in 2006 and haven't paid anything since ?????????

You (and your current wife) CHOSE to have children knowing that you already had responsibility for one -if you choose to have children -you support them. They aren't disposable. You need to stop taking your anger at your ex out on your child by depriving her .

As for the food at work-take sandwiches

nickdj wrote: »

What would you say if I said I'd rather have my daughter living with me and we get her benefits. I think my daughter would probably like that but not sure about the wife.

Oh I don't think you'd like what I had to say at all-She's your DAUGHTER not a benefits enabler !!!!!!
How would you feel about having your daughter live with you -and NOT getting " her benefits" ?

ohdamnit

duchy wrote: »

Did I read this right....You stopped paying child support in 2006 and haven't paid anything since ?????????

You (and your current wife) CHOSE to have children knowing that you already had responsibility for one -if you choose to have children -you support them. They aren't disposable. You need to stop taking your anger at your ex out on your child by depriving her .

As for the food at work-take sandwiches

As for sandwiches I thought this, though i expect even if you have cheap bread, and cheap cheese/ham/tuna might work out similar cost?

AnxiousMum

ohdamnit wrote: »

I accept I will have annoyed some people with the first rant, and really isnt an attack an all people. I, like other people who rant about !!!!!! NRPs, some times need a rant too.

Rant away As for your first part of your post, to me, there is absolutely no difference in a person who refuses to financially support their child, nor the parent who refuses to let the child have a relationship with the absent parent (unless of course, there is a safety issue involved for the child - and can be substantiated). However, in this thread, we are responding to one situation in particular as posted by the OP. If his ex came on asking how she could get away with not letting the OP see his daughter - I'd lambaste her as well

Loopy_Girl

ohdamnit wrote: »

Just want To make a couple of points as an nrp, firstly not all nrp are hateful people despite the prevailing view round here

I think you will find that most people on here only find parents 'hateful' (what an ugly word) when they

a - try to dodge CS....or are triumphant about 'only' paying £5pw
b - contact blockers...and this covers both NRPs and PWC

Loopy_Girl

ohdamnit wrote: »

As for sandwiches I thought this, though i expect even if you have cheap bread, and cheap cheese/ham/tuna might work out similar cost?

Don't be fooled....on 12Kpa plus wife's wages, plus WTC/CTC and plus any other benefits we are unaware of - I am pretty sure they can eat better than chips and beans.

After all, he hasn't paid CS for years.

Perhaps if his missus looked at the small print before signing for new cars and if took the advice doled out in Oct about contacting CCCS for debt help then he wouldn't be in this situ.

This is nothing to do with paying CS and all to do with having a grudge paying it after being scot free for so long.

ohdamnit

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

Don't be fooled....on 12Kpa plus wife's wages, plus WTC/CTC and plus any other benefits we are unaware of - I am pretty sure they can eat better than chips and beans.

After all, he hasn't paid CS for years.

Perhaps if his missus looked at the small print before signing for new cars and if took the advice doled out in Oct about contacting CCCS for debt help then he wouldn't be in this situ.

This is nothing to do with paying CS and all to do with having a grudge paying it after being scot free for so long.

By no means am I fooled , as per my previous post I don't believe the figures either.

gratefulforhelp_2

ohdamnit wrote: »

I accept I will have annoyed some people with the first rant, and really isnt an attack an all people. I, like other people who rant about !!!!!! NRPs, some times need a rant too.

Not annoyed, just don't agree.;)

AnxiousMum

Loopy_Girl wrote: »

I think you will find that most people on here only find parents 'hateful' (what an ugly word) when they

a - try to dodge CS....or are triumphant about 'only' paying £5pw
b - contact blockers...and this covers both NRPs and PWC

You put it so much better than me