Feeling Very SAD

butterflylady

Evening all,

I'm hoping that you wise people out there will help me out with some words of advice.

I have 2 children DS 3 and DD 9 months, I am due to return to work in 3 weeks with my children starting childminders next week to give them time to settle in.

I have spent a lot of the last few days crying, I will miss them so much, including the dreaded school run.

I have to go back to work even though all my money will go on childcare and bills. I think this makes it worse as there will be nothing left for treats afterwards.

Butterfly

Turtle

Hi I didn't want to not reply as your post has had a few views and no response. Although I don't have children myself I can imagine how you must be feeling about leaving them behind. I have a few friends who've been upset for the first couple of days but soon got used to it and now really enjoy their 'adult time'. I hope you'll not find it hard for too long and that someone with some proper advice will be along soon.

staffiecat

I don't have any kids either but I do understand that it must be very tough to go back to work because your going to miss the time with them. All I can say is just give it time, you may find that once you settle back in you enjoy the adult time as Turtle suggests and equally both DS and DD may enjoy their 'play time' and cherish the time with you even more

Let us know how you get on

nearlyrich

I have got children and I went back to work when they were 3 and 18 months so I know how you feel you just have to make the most of every moment that you are with them, treats don't have to be expensive you can go to the park, bake etc etc

Ms_Magnetite

Why do you have to go back to work, if every penny is going to be swallowed up by childcare costs?

Is there no way you could cut back so that you can stay at home at least part time?

SkintGypsy

I went back this week and it has been wonderful. Try to think of the positives. You can get dressed up and not be puked/snotted/ready-breked on, you can go to the loo, drink a cup of tea, and god forbid actually have time to think without kids wittering in your ear. I love my kids more than anything, but I love my personal space too, and work is giving me that. And if you miss them, you will enjoy them that much more when you have them. It really isn't all bad. Good luck with it.

nearlyrich

Ms_Magnetite wrote: »

Why do you have to go back to work, if every penny is going to be swallowed up by childcare costs?

Is there no way you could cut back so that you can stay at home at least part time?

She said bills and childcare....my first thoughts were why bother working just to pay a childminder then I re read it;)

Guinea_2

I really feel for you. ((((HUGS)))) I can't really offer any advise but didn't want to read and run. I go back to work on Tuesday after being on maternity leave for a year and am dreading it. I really don't want to leave my son, although we have had practice runs. I think it will be good for both of us to have some time with others and for me it'll be nice to have some adult conversation!! It'll be wonderful for my son to spend more time with his Daddy and also my parents (who will be sharing childcare when I go back). I will only be working three days a week, although as a teacher this will be full time anyway!!
All I can say is GOOD LUCK and I'm sure it'll all be okay.

LL_cool_mum

Did it myself last year, so really understand how you feel, good luck to you x

barbiedoll

Yes, it's horrible when you have to go back to work and leave your kids. I was lucky enough to be able to stay at home for a couple of years before I went back to work and I missed being with my son terribly.

But.......on the positive side....it did my son the world of good to spend time with other children, after the first few days of crying at the door when I left (the worst feeling ever ) he had a blast and it really improved his social skills and made him so much more independant.

And it was good for me too, although I missed him and our time together, working did give me a sense of purpose and it was nice to be able to contribute to the bills. It's hard to keep up with the chores at first, I wonder how I ever filled my days when I was at home, but the house WAS a lot tidier I guess!

Sadly, we live in a world where being a SAHM is something of a luxury for most families. It was always our plan for me to be at home and then work part-time until our son was a teenager but after redundancies, debt problems and so on and so on, it just wasn't practical for us. At least my kid knows that if you want money, you have to work for it. I'm lucky enough to enjoy my job for the most part and even though I feel guilty at times, ultimately, I don't have a choice. Don't feel bad about it, you will all adjust in time. Hope all goes well.

DancerSupreme

I went back to work when my son was 9 months old and it was the best thing I ever did.

I struggled to get out of the house each day as there was not real "purpose" to leave so to then have a reason to get up, dressed and in the car was amazing. Having conversation that didn't centre around my son was great and it made me appreciate him so much more. My husband got a fantastic response from our son after being at work all day and I was so jealous he didn't show that "love" to me. Thing was if he didn't have time to miss me, he couldn't get excited to see me.

My son went to a nursery as I wanted home rules and nursery rules so the boundaries were not blurred for him. I never had tears when I dropped him off he just went in and went to play. There are very different toys there too which he gets excited about playing with and I am very careful not to have too many of the same things at home.

I love my son so dearly. His skills from being at nursery are dumbfounding. He walked before he turned one and is so caring towards babies and other children that we are glad to be having our next child this summer.

Since my son and I have a "break" from each other every day our relationship has improved. We value our time together and have things to talk about. I get kisses and cuddles all the time and he tells me he loves me every day as it forms part of our life. I couldn't spend all day every day with my husband and I wouldn't want to with my children either.

I must add that I work part time - full day Monday, Tuesday Morning then Wed, Thurs, Fri afternoons.

Good luck and the first day is always the worst

xxx