Worried about 6 yr old fussy eater

peachyprice

Quenastoise wrote: »

Having problems with authority is not the sign of emotional problems. Being too clumsy to juggle balls is not a major handicap in life. Being able to express oneself in writing at age 6 is probably good enough, even though the writing is not joined up yet. And not everyone has a large circle of friends, what's wrong with having a smaller circle ? Those are the issues the teacher mentioned.

Too clumsy to juggle? Just how many 6yo's can juggle?
Joined up writing? They don't even need to be able to do that yet
Small circle of friends? Some children are more selective and prefer to have a few good friends than dozens of aquaintances, it's normal.

Sweetheart, this is all normal for a 6yo and certainly not an indication of any 'syndrome'. Seems to me that it's the teacher who has a problem understanding 6yo children, is the a NQT?

pupsicola

Put it this way. I am heading towards my 40s. I cant juggle. I didn't start doing joined up writing neatly till I was about 9. I have always had what could be classed as a small circle of friends and then lots of aquaintances. That is how I like it. It has certainly never held me back. I have achieved all I want to and will hopefully continue to. The only thing that worries me about what you have written is how quickly and inappropriately this teacher wants to label your son with having problems. Either he/she is an NQT or has very little clue about kids and their normal development.

clairehi

Did your DH feel that the teacher was trying to be helpful in raising the issues, or not?

my kids who are both "normal" (well what passes for normal in boys) would tick all the boxes mentioned above. being a fussy eater and not liking school dinners is not a big deal at this age.

my DS2 was under a child psych for a while with behavioural issues but does NOT have ASD or Aspergers.

up to age 7 he hated crowds, dark places, loud noises (so the school disco was hell, he cried and I had to take him home) he had big problems accepting instructions from teachers. he also had problems with other kids invading his personal space and got very upset/angry thinking people were trying to hurt him if they accidentally bumped into him.

after a few sessions with CAMHS, he was much improved and now age 9 he has grown out of the above behaviours - so dont assume that this kind of thing means your child is autistic.

Quenastoise

I don't think that she is newly qualified. I am not overtly impressed with her from my dealings with her but it's perception and likely to be unfair. DH, who is usually a good judge of character, thinks that she means well. She may be clueless in places but if she is willing to go the extra mile for our child that's something to be said for that. She's probably throwing everything into the equation in order to cover all bases.

If however she is keen to put a label on him because she cannot manage him as a teacher, I would have a BIG problem with that, unless the behaviour really is unreasonable (and I don't think it is but obviously I am biaised)

jenhug

Quenastoise wrote: »

I'm sorry but it doesn't compute. How can a child who went to nursery before school have poor social skills ?

I do think that some of the behaviour relate to poor eating habits/low sugar levels. One one occasion, he seemed close to fainting and I had to rush some food into him. I mentioned it to the doctor and all I got was "wee boys need to eat regularly"

Arran, I am sure you want to help but I am going to reject your suggestion, even though I am no expert of the subject. In many respect, DS is a well-functioning child, who is regarded as intelligent by his teachers, has friends in and outside of school, but is very strong-willed and dominant

my daughter went to the best playgroup and preschool in the area. She was very bright, very caring, but had no interest in mixing with the other children. She is strong willed, dominant, and has Asperger's. Her social skills are pants, she asked her male teacher why his head goes red when he bends down, (he is overweight and bald) She is 12 next week. She can say really offensive things to people because she just doesn't understand why you wouldn't. I could make your toes curl with some of the cringeworthy things she has said!

Food issues can be a huge issue for people with autism. My daughter would vomit up her lunch every day at school because the stress of the lunch time rush and the smells and the pressure to eat within a set time limit. Some people with autism won't eat food if it touches another food group on the plate. Some won't use cutlery, my daughter eats her breakfast on the stairs for example, but she wouldn't dream of eating anything else there as that would be weird!

Get your child tested, its nothing to be ashamed of, or embarrassed about, and its nothing you did wrong.

meritaten

Quenastoise wrote: »

I don't think that she is newly qualified. I am not overtly impressed with her from my dealings with her but it's perception and likely to be unfair. DH, who is usually a good judge of character, thinks that she means well. She may be clueless in places but if she is willing to go the extra mile for our child that's something to be said for that. She's probably throwing everything into the equation in order to cover all bases.

If however she is keen to put a label on him because she cannot manage him as a teacher, I would have a BIG problem with that, unless the behaviour really is unreasonable (and I don't think it is but obviously I am biaised)

on reflection, you say that this teacher has identified certain 'issues' with your son. she may have clarified these with you and you havent shared them on here (fair enough). is it just this teacher who says this or have YOU noticed this or others have hinted at it?

my first thoughts were ADD or mild Aspergers - but, there are conditions which are not so well known, and the ASD spectrum has been redefined in the last few years.
eating disorders can be treated in isolation if no other traits are present. and for that alone I would suggest a visit to the GP. or go through the schools ed psych.
he is obviously struggling - and its up to the adults in his life to find out why.

Quenastoise

Meritaten,

What I get from my husband is that she has mentioned poor motor skils (can't juggle balls), poor social skills (restricted social circle and can be possessive of friends), poor standard in his writing (he can express himself in words but the letters are untidy, uneven and the spelling is erratic) and naughtiness at times. Naughtiness was an issue in reception too but the reception teacher was firm and had strategies for dealing with misbehaviour. This teacher initially said that she had no issues with him misbehaving when I met her at the autumn parents' meeting. The next minute DH is being pulled into school for a meeting without warning.

What I can see in him (by reference to "The difficult child" by Dr Stanley Turecki (Piatkus) is that he has irregular eating patterns, is stubborn, has sensory issues (the way that food smells and looks) and has trouble with transitions. I am finding that book helpful because it explains some things: for instance if you are not hungry at the same time every day you are more likely to refuse food. And if I know he doesn't like to be disturbed when engaged in an activity, I give him repeated warnings when we need to move on. This book is about character traits rather than medical conditions.

I think that as parents, we all manage our children to various degrees because we want to instill our values into them whilst respecting their individualities. Some of DS's friends seem more compliant and agreeable on the face of it but I am friendly with enough parents to know that all of DH's friends have devilish moments at times too. I do believe that he's very strong-willed, which makes the managing bit a bit harder perhaps.

We'll ride though the not eating at school phase with strategies (involving DS in the making of his pack lunch) and patience, and when things are properly settled, we'll move on to the next challenge (proper eating at home) - not looking forward to the teenage years either

happy35

I was a very fussy eater as a child and would never eat a school dinner, packed lunches weren't really approved of in my infant school so I used to come home forlunch - beans and sausage, mushroom soup or ham sandwich

I am still quite fussy and like what I like, I would rather go without than eat something i don't like. I also eat when I am hungry and don't do mealtimes as am more of a grazer.

Would it be possible for your son to get involved in an out of school activity as this would help his social skills because he would have to interact with others.

Quenastoise

Yes, Happy35, he has been going to Beavers since before Christmas and he likes it here. He doesn't have a problem with the authority figure there but maybe it's because the lady has a loud voice and doesn't hesitate to use it to tell the children off !