Worried about 6 yr old fussy eater

Quenastoise

DH went to a meeting with DS's teacher today on his own (I was out of town all day with meetings) and he was told that, in addition to other problems, DS was not eating in school (he is now in year 1 and has been getting school dinners since starting reception).

So prompto, DH wisks DS to Sainsbury and into the new school bag go hoola hoops, a peperoni, a pot of chocolate mousse and for healthy food some grapes and a ham sandwich

I have found the sticky about packed lunches and will see later if I can improve on the contents of the packed lunch.

I feel we are taking a step back as far as nutrition is concerned: DS has a very narrow menu he will eat from: meat and bread only basically, grapes and sweetcorn as only fruit and veg, with most meals being burgers, pizza, sausage, chicken dippers and sausage rolls.

He is otherwise healthy and growing well so I have learned to live with his fussiness, assuming that at least in school he was getting a more balanced diet. DS himself said that he was eating things like jacket potatoes in school. I tried to replicate some of the meals he has in school but he refuses them, saying that they don't look the same.

I need a strategy for getting DS to eat a normal diet. As DS is getting older, he's getting progressively worse with his eating habits. DH thinks that he is being pragmatic by letting DS have packed lunches but I feel that DH is just avoiding the issue.

Would appreciate some perspective please. Not feeling too good at the moment, especially as the teacher added that DS had poor social skills, poor motor skills, poor writing and poor behaviour at times as well for good measure

meritaten

hmmm - its not just his poor diet - although that COULD be contributing to the poor social skills etc.
I would ask that your DS is assessed by the psych ed - its often easier to get this through the school, but if they refuse then do see your GP. If he is physically healthy, then I have an inkling of what may be wrong - but we are not supposed to diagnose on here!
can I ask???????????? does he sleep well?

coco1277_2

Hi , I didnt want to read and run but I do feel for you as I am in same situation as you . My son is 8 and lives on chicken nuggets , pizza and potato smilies same things day in day out. Up until he was age 2 he would eat absolutley anything then just seemed to change overnight . I have tried everything to get him to try different foods but he either wont touch them or retches when he puts a tiny bit in his mouth. You wouldnt think that he didnt eat though as he is well built . I just dont know where to go for help and advice as it cant be doing his body any good . I have also been told that his fine motor skills are lacking . Good luck in you quest xx

Quenastoise

Yes, he sleeps well, no, he hasn't got problems with hyper-activity, he concentrates well, he's clever, he's a funny, creative little boy.

He does have poor adaptability (doesn't like to change from an activity to another), very strong-willed, and low sensory tolerance.

wornoutmumoftwo

Is he given time to eat his meal? I think schools can be a little pushed for time and he may be feeling the effects of that?
His behaviour and social skills may be related it may be completely separate. Has your son been assessed if the school are concerned?

My son (7) was assessed at 4 as having global development delay (delays in all areas). He has a limited diet, very shy, poor social skills but with support he has come so far.

Rikki

What meals do you eat together as a family?

I found this was the best time to introduce new foods when everyone was sat around a table eating as social occasion.

Vaila

Hi, I dont want to jump to conclusions,but I think getting your child tested for Aspergers syndrome might be helpful,as they show a lot of traits associated with it

Quenastoise

I'm sorry but it doesn't compute. How can a child who went to nursery before school have poor social skills ?

I do think that some of the behaviour relate to poor eating habits/low sugar levels. One one occasion, he seemed close to fainting and I had to rush some food into him. I mentioned it to the doctor and all I got was "wee boys need to eat regularly"

Arran, I am sure you want to help but I am going to reject your suggestion, even though I am no expert of the subject. In many respect, DS is a well-functioning child, who is regarded as intelligent by his teachers, has friends in and outside of school, but is very strong-willed and dominant

wornoutmumoftwo

Quenastoise wrote: »

I'm sorry but it doesn't compute. How can a child who went to nursery before school have poor social skills ?

I do think that some of the behaviour relate to poor eating habits/low sugar levels. One one occasion, he seemed close to fainting and I had to rush some food into him. I mentioned it to the doctor and all I got was "wee boys need to eat regularly"

Both my children's problems were picked up in nursery and I was lucky. I know someone whose son has just had a diagnoses now in P2 as the signs weren't as obvious as they were in my children.

It won't harm to have a meeting with the teacher, discuss their concerns and in the meantime obviously look at your son's diet, but if he's anything like my little darling he won't even consider the prospect of new food.

My son eats the same set of food in a week, but it's healthy and he eats. We used to have 'trying' days, where he would have a mouthful of a new food and he often said he didn't like it before giving it a chance, and in three months only fish fingers have been added to the food he eats but it's still a step forward.

My older boy who has Aspergers eats like a horse - can't stop him eating so I have the opposite problem and he's like a stick insect:)

Counting_Pennies_2

There are two things that spring to mind.

The first one is the sensory issues and the adapatability. These can be seen on the autistic spectrum and I wonder if it might be worth getting him tested. If these do find he is on the spectrum that needs assistance, you can fight for him to have additional support in school.

In terms of the food. My son is shocking with his food, has been from the age of 2 also. I found over a period of a couple of years even lasagne was refused. We have taken time, but insisted that as he gets older he has to be willing to eat other foods, if nothing else to be invited to tea at other people's house and eat what is given.

I have managed to get him on to chicken, breaded fish white and salmon, pasta, and back on to lasagne. Plus all the usual kids foods that I detest appearing in the freezer, but the only other thing that can bring variety. I am slowly getting him in to honey'd pork, and will slowly build up to stews as I am desperate for us all to eat balanced meals together.

My son is nearly 7.

What I would say has worked is being very firm and saying if you eat this small portion of the food we want you to have, we will then give you a portion of pizza, or some other dream food of his.

Then later on after a few goes of a very tiny portion, I have then brought out the meal as a whole and said there is no need for the pizza as well, because he eats this so well. This has worked for us.

It is however two steps forward and one back, and other times one forward and two back.

Stick with it.

In terms of the meal at school, it sounds like he is telling you he is eating it, but he is not. Then he is going hungry in the school. So I do think it is a good idea for a packed lunch instead, however I do wonder if it is worth while going through the healthy options with your son, minus the treats. My son has a cheese sandwich, yoghurt, smoothie and a humzinger (dried fruit) every day. No variety but he will at least eat it and there is a balance there.

hth

meritaten

Quenastoise wrote: »

I'm sorry but it doesn't compute. How can a child who went to nursery before school have poor social skills ?

I do think that some of the behaviour relate to poor eating habits/low sugar levels. One one occasion, he seemed close to fainting and I had to rush some food into him. I mentioned it to the doctor and all I got was "wee boys need to eat regularly"

Arran, I am sure you want to help but I am going to reject your suggestion, even though I am no expert of the subject. In many respect, DS is a well-functioning child, who is regarded as intelligent by his teachers, has friends in and outside of school, but is very strong-willed and dominant

actually hun, I was thinking ADD or Aspergers, as your son does display many of the symptoms. they dont HAVE to be hyperactive though this is common too.
Many ADD and Aspergers kids are highly intelligent, and are creative can focus fantastically well on things that interest THEM, can spot a kindred spirit a mile away and will make friends, they can also be creative and funny, loving and kind and have an acute sense of fair play.
I know you dont think that this is the case - but for parents and grandparents who have kids with these conditions - your post sounds alarm bells!
I would have the tests however, just to rule it out!
I believe the Connors test is available online - the scores on that will give an indication if further testing is needed.