unusual one- WEALTH problem

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Like many I have day dreamed about winning £100m on the lottery or even a life changing amount, north of £10m, and what I would do with it. A couple of million barely buys a house these days and each child is a million or so each if you have that sort of money but after those things and a very healthy income were taken care of, I'd drop some on my best mate for sure.

If I got a really big win then he'd get a few million, enough to pay off the mortgage, set the kids up, invest for an income and have some money to spend. I wouldn't want anything from it but I couldn't keep picking up the tab so a once off large chunk of change seems the easiest way to elevate both of us.

Lara44

Me too. If I had such good fortune I'd want to share it with friends. You can't take it with you, after all!

OP, I do think this is something you need to square with yourself. Your friends wanting to pay for things, well it's just that they are nice people - your only problem is that you've chosen lovely people to be your friends! Well done on the last Rolo idea, I loved that :rotfl:

SandC

I do agree that you are over analysing a little. But you are good friends, you have to be honest. If you can't afford the extra things on holiday you have to tell them - and if you are not happy with them paying for these extras then you are going to have to sit down and draw up some ground rules. There is no point going along with all these things they want to do if you are not comfortable. A posh meal once in a while is one thing - the shared hols you've always known changing is perhaps another.

The reason you need to keep communication open is that your friend already realises things have shifted and wants to spare your feelings. Were you really upset about the shopping trip or secretly relieved?

sunshinetours

Some great advice already - just remember they are your best friends - talk to them early and don't let it become somthing it shouldn't be. Sitting there "stewing" won;t help anyone (I know that is over stating it at present but it could become that)

barbiedoll

Just sit and talk to your friend and tell her that the holiday trips are a great idea but as she knows, you won't be able to afford them. If she offers to pay, tell her that it makes you feel uncomfortable being the "poor relation" and if her and her family want to do other things whilst you are away, it's not a problem for you. She clearly wants to share her good fortune with you so maybe let her pay for just one activity on holiday. That way, she will get to spend some money on her friend, you get to do something nice that you wouldn't normally be able to afford and everyone is happy!

And don't forget, as they say, it's the thought that counts. Just because you can't afford to spend money on her like she can on you, doesn't mean that you can't still show her that you care. After the holiday, make sure that you send her a small bunch of flowers or a thank you card. It will mean much more to her than an expensive gift that she knows you cannot afford.

Don't stress out over this, I have a friend who is much better off than me. She has treated me many times over the years, but I have reciprocated, even if my treats were much less expensive. Her husband has given her many items of expensive jewellery over the years but she still has the friendship bracelet that I made for her, which cost around 50p. It's really not about the money!

ailuro2

If it all comes to pass why not say to protect your friendship you're only going to let them pay for one group holiday a year, and it will be one that they choose for everyone... if it's somewhere you don't fancy you won't be going ( but she knows your taste by now, so hopefully she will pick something you all like)

As for the kids, let them pay tuition fees but nothing else, because the greatest gift you can give someone is an education, imho.

By laying down some ground rules you are letting them treat you, but at the same time you are not letting them take over every break / family decision you have.