unusual one- WEALTH problem

palomine_2

Removed. After much consideration I decided there was too much personal information to remain here. I don't regret posting though, you have helped enormously.

Thank you all so much for for your insights, they have been invaluable.

kazwookie

I would wait till the 'large international deal is done' all sorts of things from a business point of view put a spanner in the works and the deal may not come off. So you would all be back at first base.

If the deal comes off, once the dust has settled down, then I would see how you feel and what the other couple may or may not be offering you, then have your own family talks to see how everyone feels, and how you would like to carry on in the future.

Elle7

I think I'd wait to see what happens...many people get overexcited when they come into money and promise to share it with the World, but when the money actually comes don't want to share it at all.

That said, if they do wish to share it with you, I think I'd try to accept. They have had an amazing thing happen to them, and they want to share it with you...I think I'd do the same if I was them. Your good friends at the bottom are your true friends at the top, you know?

If they do offer monetary gifts to your children that you are not happy with, you can raise that issue at the time, or suggest they put the money into a trust for the children so they can use it when they really need money, for a uni or house or something...

I hope it all works out for you,
E x

lostinrates

palomine wrote: »

I know you are right that it may fall through, but they are already receiving £10,000 a month retention while the deal is finalised, which should be April. My main worry is that the whole friendship will be so off balance it can't survive. Her DH will not even be able to work in is field for 10 years as part of the terms.

Please don't worry about that. We have friends who are international wealthy and famous, its not a factor for us...apart from trying to arrange things when they and DH are busy. We also have friends with very much less than us who I would hate to think feel any imbalance in our friendships with them. Its just another difference...similarities outweigh it.

I personally would not acept any monetary gifts, but would graciously accept other gifts....e.g. if they are used to holidaying with you they might want to upgrade and pay the difference...


Also....its a big deal for their future. 10 years out of a field of wor is a long time....he might not be able to get back into it after that with much success. A financial advisor might advise them to save it not spend it!

onlyroz

If it all works out fine, and they end up super-rich then I would graciously accept if they wanted to (e.g.) pay for your flights so that you could join them on holiday. I personally wouldn't offer cash gifts though.

sueeve

While holidays are one thing, because of limited time span, radical family lifestyle change is fraught with problems. You've onl got to look at the experiences of many big time lottery winners. A trust fund for your children (education/uni savings perhaps) is one thing, but living the high life is not always contributory to happy family realtionships. Be cautious. Money can get in the way of good friendships. It is pleasing for them if it comes off, and i wonder what plans they have for using new found leisure time.

whatatwit

You may find that you will still do the things you do as a group, but your friends may travel more and to different places on their own.

sassyblue

I think it's lovely of them and you should accept gracefully. When l win the lottery* l intend to treat a few people including friends, not because l feel sorry for them but simply because l enjoy their friendship and would like to think we could still have fun together with lots more money.


* No ifs and buts but when

RoxieW

The phrase 'dont look a gift horse in the mouth' springs to mind.
If I became a multimillionaire I would very much enjoy treating the people closest to me. Don't deny them that pleasure. If you have the opportunity to secure your children's future financially then accept what is offered! Life is such a struggle with house prices, uni fees etc that when life gives you an opportunity to make things easier then you should grasp it with both hands!
Think of it as karma for being such a good friend over the years!
If it starts to change your friendship for the worse then you can begin to graciously decline their offers and take a step back but if I had the means to fulfill all my dreams it would be far sweeter if i could also make the dreams of those closest to me come true as well.

kelloggs36

They obviously love you all dearly and feel you are family to them - you have shared lots over the years and it is natural for them to want to share with you. Accept gracefully and enjoy it - don't change! You are all the same people you always were and if a friendship is that strong, money won't change it. Have a wonderful life all of you!

SandC

It would probably feel different if it were a lottery win. But to them, right now, it will feel just like that. Never mind that they worked so hard for it, something has happened suddenly and has/will change their lives just as quickly. They want to share it because of how they see you as family, but also so they aren't just keeping this 'good fortune' to themselves when they can enjoy it more if they share.

In time they will travel more on their own - simply because with your jobs - and your childrens' lifestyles - you won't have the time to up sticks and go away with them as often as they would be able to.

See how it goes as you say and you can have a chat when and if something becomes uncomfortable for you.