would you want to know?

heartbroken1

Hi all!

Im a regular poster on here but have gone anon for this!

Just after new year my boyfriend and I decided to take a break for a bit – he suffers with depression and said he was having a tough time with things and wanted some time on his own while he sorted himself out. While I was gutted about this I agreed to the break.

Over the weeks we have spoken occasionally by text but not actually sat and talked

Anyway, last week we bumped into each and had a really good talk – he said he still needed more time on his own (which I said I would give him) but things were starting to look better…
As they do, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together – I then found out the following day that he has being seeing someone while we have been on this break.

I am absolutely devastated – Im also really hurt and angry!! I have found out who the girl is and am really tempted to email her and let her know what has happened as I know I would want to know if someone was cheating on me.

Obviously I don’t want to go making anymore rash choices so thought I would get others opinions first – would you want to know???

donnaessex

heartbroken1 wrote: »

Hi all!

Im a regular poster on here but have gone anon for this!

Just after new year my boyfriend and I decided to take a break for a bit – he suffers with depression and said he was having a tough time with things and wanted some time on his own while he sorted himself out. While I was gutted about this I agreed to the break.

Over the weeks we have spoken occasionally by text but not actually sat and talked

Anyway, last week we bumped into each and had a really good talk – he said he still needed more time on his own (which I said I would give him) but things were starting to look better…
As they do, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together – I then found out the following day that he has being seeing someone while we have been on this break.

I am absolutely devastated – Im also really hurt and angry!! I have found out who the girl is and am really tempted to email her and let her know what has happened as I know I would want to know if someone was cheating on me.

Obviously I don’t want to go making anymore rash choices so thought I would get others opinions first – would you want to know???

Probably not, no. He's only been seeing her a couple of weeks - its not the romance of the century.

And I certainly wouldnt want to hear it out of the blue from his obviously pining ex girlfriend.

go_cat

Im really sorry to say this but his idea of a break was probably his way of getting out the relationship.

At the min he is having the best of both worlds you plus new girl

I would leave him to it and don't sleep with him again until he makes a decision if he wants you full time or not

Good luck hun

Apricot

I wouldn't tell her - you don't know her and it could come across that you are telling for a jealousy reason rather than because you actually care about her feelings.
IMO leave well alone and she will soon realise what he is like.

cgk1

Get checked for the clap - if he's willing to sleep with multiple partners then you could have picked up something.

cheepskate_2

Why are you bothered, will do you no good telling the new girlfriend. . He's now an ex of yours , so treat him that way and stay well clear of him.

balletshoes

I wouldn't tell her, you're not seeing him, she's only been seeing him a very short while, and if you tell her (especially right now when you're feeling devastated, hurt and angry) thats how you will come across - as the jealous woman who's only aim is to destroy her ex's social life.

Just don't allow one thing to lead to another again, if you want to stay undevastated (is that a word?).

WastingMyTime

IMO:
Please don't email the other girl. Shes not the problem. The problem is you were hurt and deceived by a man you love.
I wouldn't wait to see what he wants because this puts you in a weak position. Make your own decisions about what types of people you want to attract into your life. Be honest, is a man that is willing to bed hop between girls the type You deserve? No. There are tons of great guys out there who will treat you like a queen, so believe that you deserve the best.
You can stop his behaviour by withdrawing yourself from the situation and move onto pastures better and new.
Stay strong and assertive, you will come through this very tough time.

heartbroken1

thanks for the replies - I know you are all right - I just wish he'd been honest with me rather than stringing me along with the promise of us getting back together when he had got himself sorted.

gjs6385

Anyway, last week we bumped into each and had a really good talk – he said he still needed more time on his own (which I said I would give him) but things were starting to look better…
As they do, one thing led to another and we ended up in bed together

This happened between the two of you so what's to say the same thing didn't happen with them?

I would leave well alone and it sounds like he doesn't know what he wants.

If you care about this guy just be there for him as a friend for now and who knows what will happen....

Heart_Shaped_Diamond

I always thought the concept of having a 'break' was having space without the burden of a relationship for whatever reason at the time, but with the possibility that the relationship will soon rekindle after said break.

It's different from splitting up with said person. So she was under the impression that sooner or later things would go back to norm, am I wrong? The whole point is to have ''time by yourself'' not ''sleep around with others''... I'm pretty sure that wasn't part of the deal he spoke about with OP when discussing his depression.

What a weasel OP. You don't need him.