Autistic teenagers

GlasweJen

The scenario in the OP is not typical autistic behaviour, it's just sheer disrespect. I've never ever hit one of my parents during a spat, I have during a full proper melt down but I wouldn't be coherent enough to continue a conversation and then run away to a sensible place.

shellsuit

GlasweJen wrote: »

The scenario in the OP is not typical autistic behaviour, it's just sheer disrespect. I've never ever hit one of my parents during a spat, I have during a full proper melt down but I wouldn't be coherent enough to continue a conversation and then run away to a sensible place.

I haven't hit mine either, but I'm wondering whether the OPs son meant to push her over or he was just being 'protective' of his phone? If she was trying to wrangle it out of his hands and he is holding onto it tightly then I can see how she would have got shoved, but not neccessarily by him on purpose.

delain

GlasweJen wrote: »

The scenario in the OP is not typical autistic behaviour, it's just sheer disrespect. I've never ever hit one of my parents during a spat, I have during a full proper melt down but I wouldn't be coherent enough to continue a conversation and then run away to a sensible place.

This is quite true. Mine is only 6, but when she has a meltdown she is completely lost to it and shattered afterwards to the point where she struggles to stay awake. She certainly isn't being rational like the OP's son was.

OP I hope you are aware that if these assaults and police call outs carry on throughout your pregnancy SS will get involved again and they will seriously consider whether or not you will be allowed to keep your baby with you in a home where s/he is at risk of serious harm at the hands of an older sibling.

I know they will be aware of his difficulties but they have a legal duty not to make excuses for him and make sure your baby is safe.

For goodness sake speak to them and let them find your son a suitable home before he causes you to lose the baby in one way or another.

pollypenny

BCS, you will have to cancel the phone contract. You could get him a Pay as You Go and use a reward system for extra top-ups, perhaps.

Pol

xx

[Deleted User]

pink_princess wrote: »

It is not normal behaviour,my teenagers wouldn t swear let alone hit me.OP I don t know if its linked to his autism ,has he always been aggresive ? Id ring the mobile company and tell them to cancel his sim except for emergency calls.I don t know what your finances are but that would criple me.

What I meant was that it is disrespect, nothing to do with his autism IMO.

natlol

Sorry to hear about your problems with your son. The first thing I would suggest is to telephone the mobile phone provider and ask if there is another plan/tariff that he can be placed on.
Some providers allow you to place a monetary value which if exceeded places an automatic barr on outgoing calls/texts/data etc. It may be worth asking them in this case.
Alternatively you could (for the short term) ask them to block outgoing calls etc until you are given some respect. This also takes away the physical need to "get the phone".

Dealing with people with additional needs is difficult. I am a teacher in a large school and we have staff who are trained to deal with this type of behaviour. Have you contacted the school and perhaps asked them if he can see a "learning/behavioural mentor" it may be called something different in his school. This should involve a weekly meeting (more frequently if needed) with him and someone trained to explore his thought processes.

Savvy_Sue

pink_princess wrote: »

Id ring the mobile company and tell them to cancel his sim except for emergency calls.I don t know what your finances are but that would criple me.

If he's not yet 18, then the contract can't, as far as I know, be in his name, so that's the answer: you don't need the phone, whoever has the contract needs to talk to the provider.

bryanb

As I understand things, a 16 yr old cannot have a contract phone, or a contract of any kind actually.

Snap SS

sock-knitter

bryanb wrote: »

As I understand things, a 16 yr old cannot have a contract phone, or a contract of any kind actually.

Snap SS

you have to be 18 to sign a phone contract,
as a parent you can sign for your son, saying u will pay all the calls
the best bet is to get him a pay as u go phone.

teenagers can be aggressive to their parents even without asd, if u dont press charges, you are letting him know he can get away with hitting you, he needs to learn that it isnt acceptable.

in my area, parents and teens can access a course that teaches the young men how to control themselves, and what is and isnt acceptable, and parents, can learn different ways of dealing with there sons, to avoid confrontation, the course is run between the youth offending team, and the safeguarding at home team

JBD

Breast cancer survivor, I'm sorry to hear what you're going through. My daughter is 10 . She is autistic and regularly assaults me. It definitely isn't normal teenage behaviour, my 2 sons are 22 and 14 ,neither of them have ever assaulted me.
Even at the age of 10 my daughter has already hurt me a few times ,if she carries on into adulthood I will have to find alternative care for her. That is for my own safety, thankfully there are no younger children in the house to protect.
I think you already know that your unborn child must be protected 1st and foremost.
Best wishes to you and your family.I hope you can find [and accept] some help.