Autistic teenagers

Breast_Cancer_Survivor

I have 2 sons whe are 16 & 14, the older one has asperger's the younger one had asd.

So far this year they have both assulted me & i've had enough.

I don't think it's fair that I should be treated this way especially seeing as i'm 3 months pregnant.

The latest incident happened yesterday as I tried to take my 16 yr old son's phone off of him as he has run up £1000.00 worth of bills in the 2 months he has had the phone.

When I tried to take it from him after he had refused to hand it over he pushed me over saying you can't have it i'm stronger than you mummy.

He than ran away & I haven't seen or heard from him since.

Is this normal teenage behaviour or is it down to the autism?

I have asperger's myself & i've never so much as sworn at either of my parents let alone hit them.

I've been crying all weekend & feel such a failure.

The thing is even though my kids are horrible to me I still love them & wouldn't press charged yesterday as the police said it would go on his record & might prevent him from getting his dream job as a forensic scientist with the police.

I'm sorry for the depressiong post but I feel I have no one to talk to about any of this as I don't know anyone else with autistic kid.

[Deleted User]

That is nothing to do with his autism, it normal teenager behaviour. What I would do next time is ask him to hand you over the phone rather than trying to get it off him (is that what you meant?) and explainthat if he doesn't there will be consequences. That way there is no physical confrontation.
When your son comes back and is hopefully calmer, try talking to him and explain that he can't talk to you that way.
Btw my son has ASC, I know it is difficult to figure out if they behave in a particular way because of their autism or because of their age/personality.

delain

Mine are younger and so are all the other autistic kids I know. What you could do is find out if there are charities in your local area there is one here who run supported housing hostels for 'homeless' young people under 25. I lived there and so did people a lot more 'troubled' than I was and the workers really go all out to help people.

It sounds like you just can't live together anymore, imagine what if he does this to the baby when the baby is born?

McKneff

Assaulting your parent is not normal teenage behaviour.

When he comes back, tell him youve bought him a nice new phone, make it a £5.00 pay as you go.

While I have every sympathy do yu not think it was highly irresponsible to give an autistic or otherwise teenager a mobile phone with the capacity to run up this sort of debt.

pink_princess

Van1971 wrote: »

That is nothing to do with his autism, it normal teenager behaviour.

It is not normal behaviour,my teenagers wouldn t swear let alone hit me.OP I don t know if its linked to his autism ,has he always been aggresive ? Id ring the mobile company and tell them to cancel his sim except for emergency calls.I don t know what your finances are but that would criple me.

shellsuit

A teenager doesn't need a phone/plan which is capable of running upto a thousand pounds in debt. Did you get the phone and plan for him?

Did he mean to push you over, or is it a case of him not knowing his own strength?

If he ran away yesterday and you haven't heard from him since then, what have you done to try to get in touch with him?

I'd be on pins if one of mine walked out and went missed overnight, let alone if they were autistic too!

I know you are pregnant but if you think things are bad now, what on earth are you going to do once the baby arrives?

squirrelchops

Breast_Cancer_Survivor wrote: »

I have 2 sons whe are 16 & 14, the older one has asperger's the younger one had asd.

So far this year they have both assulted me & i've had enough.

I don't think it's fair that I should be treated this way especially seeing as i'm 3 months pregnant.

The latest incident happened yesterday as I tried to take my 16 yr old son's phone off of him as he has run up £1000.00 worth of bills in the 2 months he has had the phone.

When I tried to take it from him after he had refused to hand it over he pushed me over saying you can't have it i'm stronger than you mummy.

He than ran away & I haven't seen or heard from him since.

Is this normal teenage behaviour or is it down to the autism?

I have asperger's myself & i've never so much as sworn at either of my parents let alone hit them.

I've been crying all weekend & feel such a failure.

The thing is even though my kids are horrible to me I still love them & wouldn't press charged yesterday as the police said it would go on his record & might prevent him from getting his dream job as a forensic scientist with the police.

I'm sorry for the depressiong post but I feel I have no one to talk to about any of this as I don't know anyone else with autistic kid.

So where is he??? I would be most concerned not to have had contact with him since yesterday - are you not worried about his wherabouts?

shellsuit

squirrelchops wrote: »

So where is he??? I would be most concerned not to have had contact with him since yesterday - are you not worried about his wherabouts?

OP failed to point out he is with his stepdad :cool:


http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showpost.php?p=40753388&postcount=445

Fang_3

OP - it might be an idea to re-read the many, many responses that you've been given by posters previously. Whether he's trying to kill your baby and attacking you, or trying to punch you and get out of the house - the advice is going to be the same.

I don't know what you want - you've been given advice and you don't act upon it, and then you come back again and repeat the cycle.

squirrelchops

Oh right well that's good then!

Lance

How a 16 year old can be given a phone where they can rack up thousands of pounds a month is quite beyond me. :eek: