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annoyed at myself

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just posted on another thread on this forum about not lending money, but have just made that very same mistake myself...

housemate asked to borrow £5 bus fare. I only had £10, and left this out for her before I dashed out the door myself. She's gone to give me back the money, but has only given me £5 without bringing up the fact I gave her £10. I'm now going to have to raise the issue tommorrow, but even though I've known her for nearly 10 years, it's still going to be an awkward conversation. In the great scheme of things, £5 isn't a huge amount, but thinking about it, she owes me £100's for groceries and bills. I've no doubt she will pay me back, it's just when (and the fact I have to chase her up about it)...still, I guess I should be grateful that I'll more likely than not get the money back. Just a matter of when!

Note to self - practice what you preach! lol.
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Comments

  • whitewing
    whitewing Posts: 11,852 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Combo Breaker
    How can you be so certain that she will pay you back when

    a. you will need to remind her?
    b. she owes you hundreds anyway?

    Sounds more like she will pay you just enough to keep you quiet and conveniently forget about the rest. (Not in a nasty way, just in a lovely, dreamy, oopsadaisy kind of way). It would niggle me to be honest.
    :heartsmil When you find people who not only tolerate your quirks but celebrate them with glad cries of "Me too!" be sure to cherish them. Because these weirdos are your true family.
  • rustyboy21
    rustyboy21 Posts: 2,565 Forumite
    hold her upside down and shake rapidly, she might get the message and you might get your fiver back, out of her pockets.

    I am soft too, been too soft in the past, hardening up now being 45 you know!

    I am still owed £200 from when I was 16 in college off my best mate at the time. Havent seen him in 25 years, no chance of getting it back now
  • After lending out a few hundred over a number of years to my so called 'best friend' plus after buying him gig tickets, groceries, meals and looking after his pets whilst he was on holiday and never seeing any return then him dropping me as a friend out of the blue after 12 years of friendship I've become very good at pulling up people who owe me anything.

    Just say it plainly, no attitude or anything, just "hey, remember I lent you that tenner the other day for your bus fare, well you only gave me £5 back and I was wondering if I could get the other fiver back now please?". If it can't be had now then either state when you want it by or ask when you can expect to get it back from them. It might come across as blunt to some people but at least that way there is no hinting or grudges building up in the background.
    Debt: Started at £4780, now at £4190 :)
    Comp Wins 2014: None yet :(
  • I would just ask her for it,you are not her charity it seems like she is preying on your kind nature.
    people like this annoy me as they seem to have no guilt about borrowing whatsoever.
    Like Rustyboy21 I no longer lend money to anyone as I have hardened with age!Due to been owed money in the past.
    Also to Rustyboy see if your ex-mate is on Facebook and publicly remind him he still owes you £200! with interest if you are feeling wicked!!
  • I've known her for £10 years and I'd be very surprised if she's doing it deliberately...she does pay, like I said, just a pain having to chase her up. Also need to get off my own backside and work out how much she owes me (I do all the grocery shopping on the understanding she will pay me back half...just haven't gotten round to totting it all up yet, so can't blame that on her).

    I always stand by the rule (no matter what) that I wont lend what I can't afford to lose, but I will admit to being shocked at how many people will try and work it so they pay you back less than they owe, either deliberately or not. I tend to be fairly relaxed about it as I do, on occasion, forget if I owe someone a few pounds (rarely, but it does happen), so do appreciate someone reminding me, but I always pay back in full. So many people will say "oh, I've only got X amount now, so I will pay you the rest another time". If they say this I always reply that no they can wait until they have the whole amount to give me, as it's hard for me to keep track of how much I'm then owed, so I usually wont get it. My friend last night didn't do this - she just handed me the £5 and said "here's the money I owe you". I'm going to give her the benefit of the doubt and assume that she thought that I left £5 (Scottish notes, and she's English), but I will have to raise the matter today. Just feel guilty as she's already said she's broke. I'm too soft. lol.
  • shellsuit
    shellsuit Posts: 24,749 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Photogenic Combo Breaker
    Why didn't you say anything last night when she handed you the fiver?
    Tank fly boss walk jam nitty gritty...
  • Pollycat
    Pollycat Posts: 35,763 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 10,000 Posts Name Dropper Savvy Shopper!
    If I were you, I'd tot up what she owes you for groceries and bills and tell her how much it is and ask for her plans to repay you.

    You're not really being fair to her if you just let it all build up to an amount that she may find hard to pay back within a reasonable timescale.

    I hope when you tackle her about the £5 she gives it straight back to you.
    If she doesn't, you know what to do next time.
  • yeah i used to be too soft with people but learnt the hard way
    Wins in 2011 -Pepsi Adventure Day ,Years magazine Subscription ,Dorset Cereals .Rimmel London lasting foundation ,Britney spears goodie bag and launch party tickets,
    Wins in 2012 -Red Letter Days voucher,fortnum and mason hamper, case of Bulmers Cider, ascot tickets, NKOTBSB tickets , jewellery
    2013 and the winning streak continues!
  • VfM4meplse
    VfM4meplse Posts: 34,269 Forumite
    10,000 Posts Combo Breaker I've been Money Tipped!
    I'd be very surprised if she's doing it deliberately...

    I don't think your friend is flaky, but manipulative. She's got away with you subsidising her so many times, this part-payment stategy is her way of keeping this lifeline open. You need to be firm.
    Value-for-money-for-me-puhleeze!

    "No man is worth, crawling on the earth"- adapted from Bob Crewe and Bob Gaudio

    Hope is not a strategy :D...A child is for life, not just 18 years....Don't get me started on the NHS, because you won't win...I love chaz-ing!
  • Freddie would lend her another tenner, then use the remnants to get the locksmiths out.
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