Getting married...with no guests

32kickstart

We did this 10 years ago. OH 2nd marriage and I've always said I've never wanted a big wedding. My mum was very upset - but I've 5 other siblings so shes had her fair share of weddings to attend. It was perfect for us and still look back at it being the best time we've had together. We had a party afterwards back home....best of both worlds. Do what you want to do.

runnerbean17

Speaking from experience - me and my husband went away and got married and told no-one until we returned. We'd been together for a few years and decided to save our money for a bigger house and not spend it on a big wedding. We still wouldn't have done it any other way. Most people were surprised but happy for us - only 1 seemed a bit miffed (to put it politely). In fact she still acts a bit strange when I mention our wedding day and pretty much changes the subject!!! Even if you stayed at home had a massive wedding etc etc there would still be problems or issues with somethings or some people. Do what feels right for the both of you and whatever you decide have a fantastic time. For me it was all about the marriage NOT the wedding it's our 10th wedding anniversary this year.

DUKE

It's your wedding day & you can do what you like on it. If anything I think other people are being selfish expecting you do what they want rather than what you want. People really shouldn't expect. If you don't want to face family just don't tell them. Big weddings are for other people, & me personally I prefer a quieter affair with just the people involved & maybe the odd one of two very close relatives. Remember marriage is for two people without the inclusion of others or something like that. Good luck!

melancholly

runnerbean17 wrote: »

Even if you stayed at home had a massive wedding etc etc there would still be problems or issues with somethings or some people.

now there's a complete truth! whatever people do, someone will have an opinion about it and say it wasn't right.

personally, i think a wedding should be about the couple and what suits them. not everyone wants to be the centre of attention and organise seating plans and worry about menus and all of that. for some people, a big wedding is important and deciding all of those details makes it personal and special and that's great, for others, that's not what they want, and that should be great too!

grey_lady

Sadly in some families it seems the couple can't always choose to have the wedding that they want, we've already had one poster saying how hurt she would feel to be excluded from her Childs wedding day and I'm sure most people wouldn't want the guilt of hurting their relatives. So what should they do, live with the guilt and potentially fall out with close family if they go off on their own and have the wedding they want? Or compromise and have the wedding their family want and possibly always regret not having the wedding they wanted?


Even just who to invite can cause fallouts with bad feelings after so many divorces and second marriages, I know from my own family that when someone hasn't been invited to a wedding then other family members refuse to go and likewise some people refuse to go if they hear so and so has been invited. Considering the stress and the cost of the day and the 50/50 chance of divorce I do sometimes wonder why people bother getting married at all.

csh_2

grey_lady wrote: »

I do sometimes wonder why people bother getting married at all.

Crazy little thing called Love?

melancholly

csh wrote: »

Crazy little thing called Love?

and now i have that song stuck in my head!!! argh!

scooterpig

I would seriously rethink driving to Orlando from Las Vegas too.

I've done a big road trip in the western USA (4000+ miles) and it was fantastic. There's some great stuff to see in Utah, Arizona, Wyoming, Colorado etc. However, once you get out into the midwest you're onto the plains and there's an awful lot of nothing.

I now live in the USA and don't know anyone here who'd consider that drive for a holiday. It's a long, long, way. Driving the interstate here is not like driving the motorways in the UK - the interstates are much longer, straighter, and tend to be pretty monotonous. Fine if you're only going an hour or two but pretty dull if you're looking at several days (which is what it would take you). If you're planning a summer trip, it'll be hot, and in the winter, it could be VERY snowy. You'd need to plan ahead accommodation-wise too.

Alyssa.C

Hi,
Thanks everyone for your advice, its been helpful. We have gotten rid of the idea of driving from las vegas to orlando but still hoping to fly over to orlando so we can take our son to disneyland. We are planning on just inviting our parents now. I know if i dont do things the way my partner and i want, i will regret it (my partner wont as much as me) but i am always changing my ideas because other people dont approve/agree, and i will regret it forever if i dont do our wedding how we want. Thanx guys

ailuro2

Alyssa, I'd seriously think of travelling to the California Disney instead of going to the Orlando one... they still have Mickey and all his friends, big and small rollercoasters etc... and as someone else said there's Universal there too.;)

You could go to California Disney while your parents do a side trip to San Francisco, if theme parks aren't their thing.:D