Advice needed, who is next of kin and responsible for the funeral?

margaretclare

PS: The hospital almoner is nowadays called the medical social worker.

Errata

carolan78 wrote: »

Friend B is going to the hospital today, they told her this morning on the phone they had given his mother (I hate using that word) an excuse yesterday (the hospital are well aware of the situation). So I am hoping this means they are giving all the legal bits of paper to Friend B. Fingers crossed x

It sounds a bit of a sticky situation. My guess, and it is only a guess, is that if there is any argy bargy the hospital is aware of between the legal NOK and a non-relation, the hospital may take the legal route and give primacy to the NOK.

carolan78

I think from what she said this morning the hospital are treating her as NOK as he had put her as NOK whist still lucid a few weeks ago. It was Friend B that had the reposibility of deciding to turn off the machine as the mother didn't want to know. I am just hoping all goes well at the hospital today then everything else should be quiet simple (I hope).

I'd like to thank all that have posted you have made me feel much more positive to the outcome. I was really concerned that regardless of who held the legal paperwork the "mother" could stroll on in and override Friend B just because she so hppened to donate her body 40 odd years ago. As long as Friend B gets the paper work today and gets funeral arrangements moving along then all should be ok x

Errata

I hope it all turns out well for all of you.

margaretclare

Errata wrote: »

I hope it all turns out well for all of you.

I second that.

If the deceased had put down Friend B as NOK then that's how it should stay, AFAIK.

Mojisola

margaretclare wrote: »

I second that.

If the deceased had put down Friend B as NOK then that's how it should stay, AFAIK.

This is true for medical matters - GPs and hospitals - but when it comes to inheritance or the DWP only spouses or blood relations count.

I don't think a friend could apply for a funeral grant if there is a blood relation who could apply for it. His mother is mistaken if she thinks she will get the money paid to her. As I understand it, unless you have paid for the funeral and are being reinbursed, it is paid directly to the undertakers.

coco1980

Dont know if this helps and I am in Scotland so dont know if that makes a difference either, I was listed as my fathers NOK as I was oldest child, he passed away 2 years ago and although there was no disputing my uncle and youngest brother automatically took over everything, there was no question of NOK at the time being responsible for the funeralbasically the person who went to the funeral home and made arrangements was responsible for paying, although I understand this situation is very different , i hope it all goes well for yous, this is a distressing time as it is without this womans dispicable behaviour making matters worse.

Mely

My deepest condolences to you.
Im sorry i dont have anymore advice that hasnt already been offered. This thread has really moved me, and shocked me too, tbh.
I hope all goes well, and please let us know what happens.
Mel x

carolan78

I'm still waiting on news, I will let you know how today has gone as soon as I know x

pupsicola

Im really hoping things go smoothly. It must have been a horrible time for you and it sounds like friend B has been through so much recently. How awful that when you are all just needing to grieve a very special person you are dealing with all this.

Take comfort that what really counts is how we treat someone when they are alive. Your friend chose to be with you all and you are who mattered to him.

The hospital must be aware of how this very sick man was spoken to and treated by his mum. Has anyone made them aware of what this woman is planning to do with him. If I were the decision maker and could legally do it, I would release the body to someone who would lay it to rest with respect.