Private / Independent schools

Milky_Mocha

Hello

I have a child who is nowhere near school going age but I'd like to get it clear in my mind whether to go private or state school.

I have dug up all the threads I could about this topic but they are now old and I just really wanted more opinions given my thoughts on the matter.

4 of my friends with children (I have about 7 friends who have children) have sent their kid(s) to a private school and all of them insist that there is no comparison to the state school, i.e. they would definitely go private. These people are not rich and 1 of them I know has made huge sacrifices, i.e. lives a very modest lifestyle to invest heavily in his 3 children's private schooling.

One thing I've noticed is that many parents who go private have tried state school, found it unacceptable, withdrawn the child and then found private to be 'the best option.' However parents I spoke to who say state schools are just as good have not even tried the private schools for their children.

My parents educated me and my siblings privately and I believe that is largely the reason I'm in a successful career today. Therefore I'd feel guilty if I didn't do the same for my child. One of my friends said, "all other things being equal, private education is better than state education in this country" all other things I presume are child's personality, level of encourgement given by parents, etc.

Now I am not a snob by any means but one of the reasons I'd like a private education for my child is to influence the way she speaks when she grows/is growing up. Honestly I'd despair if she speaks with the words 'innit' and such. I don't intend for her to talk 'posh' at all. Just to speak properly. Does anyone else feel this way? Another thing I can't stand is pronouncing the letter 'h' as 'hech' instead of 'ech' (you know what I mean).

Anyway, I better get some work done. I'd be glad to read your thoughts.

moneyman4u

My friend is a teacher in a Independant school and he seems to think that whether the school will be better or not is dependant on the child, clever kids tend to do well where ever they go, kids who find learning difficult and are not academic or simply dont wish to learn will tend to do badly where ever they go. The children who benefit are the ones in between who can maintain a better standard of work because they recieve more attention in a smaller class, that they would not get in state school.

So if you think your child is an average sort of kid, not that quick, but not that thick, then I would go Independant.

hobo28

A lot will depend upon what you earn, how secure your income is, future prospects and the state of local schools.

For me, I didn't think that private school at primary school age was really worth the money. The local school was one of the best in the area.

At secondary school then I think it definately is. Other things being equal that is.

That said, my daughter's class has 28 pupils in it. My neighbour's son is the same age and goes to a private school. His class has 8. I think that speaks volumes myself.

Mrs_pbradley936

It all depends where you live. Move to parts of Hertfordshire or parts of Redbridge and you need not worry about finding money for school fees.

When we lived in London we paid school fees because State schools were awful when we moved we let the children try a couple of weeks at a State School (in July, private school had broken up) they loved it. One son passed all GCSEs A* or A then got 3 A grade and 1 B grade at A level then a 2:1 degree in Mathematics. Other son did not enjoy school but got good GCSEs then left.

monty100

Milky_Mocha wrote:

but one of the reasons I'd like a private education for my child is to influence the way she speaks when she grows/is growing up. Honestly I'd despair if she speaks with the words 'innit' and such. I don't intend for her to talk 'posh' at all. Just to speak properly. Does anyone else feel this way? Another thing I can't stand is pronouncing the letter 'h' as 'hech' instead of 'ech' (you know what I mean).

Don't think going to private school is going to help them avoid speaking poorly - having met several privately educated teenagers their speech is no better than our kids - and they seem to swear a lot more!!

More alarmingly we have also noticed that there is a tendency towards a sort of arrogance amongst them that kids that I teach (secondary school) and friends of my kids do not have. They tend to look down on others as oiks!

There also seems to be an alarming culture amongst them (aged 15) of all-night parties which the so-called 'sophisticated' parents allow with the minimum of supervision.

As another poster said, if your kids are academic they will do well in state education given a half-way decent secondary school. And if they are middle of the roaders who would benefit from smaller classes, then you have to make the judgement about whether it is that sort of lifestyle you want for your kids and whether you want them to mix with kids who may come from much richer backgrounds than yours, with all the problems of keeping-up and aspirtation that that brings.

pozalina

As a former teacher and an educational psychologist I agree that kids who are bright can do equally well in state as in private schools. Personally I would not see it as necessary to send my child to a private primary school, as state primaries are generally good. State schools are closely monitred by OFSTED for standards and perfomance data is publicly available, and they must follow the National curriculum. There is no onus on private schools to do this.

However you have to consider what the behaviour is like in your local secondary state schools, because even if your child is well motivated and bright it will be very difficult for them to learn if there are disruptive students in their class.

bristol_pilot

I think young children are primarily influenced by their parents whereas older children are mostly influenced by their peers. So state school should be OK for primary education, independent school for secondary.

Milky_Mocha

Thanks for all your helpful replies.

I think my next step is to find out what the surrounding state schools are like. There doesn't seem to be any private schools in Grays anyway. The nearest one is in Hornchurch and I have no idea how good it is. There does seem to be one well talked about primary school which is supposed to be very good. I believe my child is very intelligent but then I suppose all parents think that when the children are babies. In about 2 years I should know for certain. If she is indeed very bright then we might send her to the state school for primary and then a private secondary school. If I notice any undesirable behaviour (or speech LOL) in the first few months then I'll throw my hands up and withdraw her in favour of a private primary.

nuttywoman

If i`d had the money when my 2 were at school i would have sent them to a private one, specially my son, who struggled with dyslexia all the way through with no help whats so ever.The schools used every excuse to dismiss it, but he went onto college - were he was finally diagnosed- and now he`s just started uni and getting help there as well.
My 2 great nephews are at a private school and you can tell they getting a good education.
val

moneyman4u

If I notice any undesirable behaviour (or speech LOL) in the first few months then I'll throw my hands up and withdraw her

My mother corrected my speech from the time I was born until I left home, I used to find it very annoying as I child, but in hindsight I am very glad that she did. My point is speech comes from the home, and can be corrected by parents without a school influence, innit.

Mrs_pbradley936

My sons both alter their speech depending on who they are with at the time.
Thankfully they can speak properly when it matters but they will insist on calling me Mrs Bucket!