Hi, Please can anyone help? SOA and current situation

rhubarbarella

RAS wrote: »

Thanks so much for the update.

If BR is the only option do go over to the BR forum http://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/forumdisplay.php?s=&daysprune=&f=136 again.

They can help you sort out the BR papaerwork and SOA if he wants to do it whilst the caseworker is away.

If there are any accounts that are not priority and only in your OH's name, stop paying them to save up for the BR fees.

If you have any joint accounts, they will end up as your responsibility, so it may be a good idea to split accounts into his and hers; but be careful of being seen to transfer liability.

If you have any joint bank accounts take his name off them, or close them and open new ones separately.

have you had any luck claiming benefits?

thanks, I will ask about the actual BR on that forum in the next couple of days.
Thankfully other than the mortgage we have always kept all our money seperate. The caseworker advised gettting my name taken off the utility bills so that any missed payments only go against my partner. he doesn't have any money left reallly now, only about £60 in the bank so payments are going to be missed, but so far we haven't had any letters or anything - I was expecting lots of angry red bills by now, but I guess its only been a week or two. The calm before the storm??

Had a phone call today from the DWP or DSS or whoever it is, asking me some more questions but they said the think we should definitely be eligible for income support and mortgage interest support plus council tax benefit. Plus they said they should be able to back date it a couple of weeks to the date I made the claim too which was an unexoected bonus. lets hope it actually happens.

I'm not sure if my OH would be entitled to any DLA or anything, with being so unwell? I feel like I am having to keep an eye on him 24/7 as his mental state is so fragile but unsure if that counts.

Next step is to see what house valuation comes in at as that will determine whether we will be staying put or having to move. I think I will feel better once I know, the uncertainty is stressing me out.

rhubarbarella

Hi, I wondered if some of you good people could offer further help/insight for me...

We have had a valuation of the house done by a local estate agent, who valued the house as being in equity, they reckoned that we should probably be able to sell it for between 12k to 17k above the amount we currently owe to the bank on the mortgage. Obviously I was quite surprised as I wasn't expecting there to be any equity. I have another local agent from a different company coming next week to do an additional valuation, just to double check and see if they value it at about the same.

Now, my question is this...

My partners total debts (excluding the ongoing lease of the retail property) stand at around £23000. If we were to sell the house and achieved 12k from it, after fees etc this would leave us about 10k I reckon.
A relative of mine has said they MAY be able to do me (not him) a loan, interest free, long term of about £10-12k by releasing equity and partially remortgaging their second property.
If I was to give my partner my share of any proceeds from the house, plus the potential loan from the relative, this would give him around £20k to pay off his debts. This would leave, as it currently stands, debts to him of around £4000. Of course the HP car will still have to go back, so I think he would owe half the cost of the car even though we'd terminated the agreement, so add to that another £3500.

Now obviously there would still be the business lease.
If I explain the current situation to the landlord, and that the alternative is bankruptcy, if he agreed, could he legally repossess the property and thus break the tenancy and free my partner from the retail unit lease (£10k/year for 4.5 more years)?

What I am trying to work out is whether he can avoid going bankrput.

outstanding debts of £7500 are far more manageable than debts above £20k and could possibly be paid off with an agreement from benefit money, if we were able to get a council house/cheap rental property to live in.

Now, I would also have to be repaying my relative, but this would be a long term thing, and no interest, so I could pay small amounts until one of us is healthy enough to find work and make more substantial repayments.
However I am wary of borrowing from a relative as there seem to be many ways this could go wrong!

what do you people think?
My brain is so addled that I just cannot make sense of things these days anymore.

thoughts please, help me work this mess out!

thanks

Clarie_2

I'm so sorry so many of those questions I don't know about! With regards to DLA (now ESA) it might be worth investigating as a short term option - and it might give your partner more support back in to work later. Maybe get the form and have a read through or ask your GP?

We similarly borrowed money off a relative. With us, it helped that I had previously borrowed money from this relative years before to buy a car - very different amount, but I'd paid them back and I knew it would work out.
Have you or anyone else in your family borrowed from them before? How did it go?
And be as clear with the terms as you would from a bank - what is the repayment rate? how often? What happens if they need the money? Can you overpay or renegotiate payment later?
Also, our lender wanted to see our budget and tried to tell me what I could or couldn't spend money on - thankfully I was assertive enough to say 'trust me or don't lend it to me' and they agreed to lend it without strings. Will you feel guilty if you later on can afford a bottle of wine / holiday / give money to charity and your relative knows about it?

Clarie

katsu

I can't offer you any helpful advice but I just wanted to say good luck. You are having great advice from people like Claire and RAS and it is lovely that someone from the bankrupcy boards has popped in too.

All I can say is keep posting here to get the advice and support - you will come through this.

rhubarbarella

I have no idea if any of you wonderful people who commented last year will see my update if I post it here, but I hope some of you do, and that if you have read through the whole thread and are struggling yourselves that it might help you in some way.
This time last year I thought my life was over.
I thought I would be homeless
I thought my partner would commit suicide.
Well...none of that happened.
My OH is now receiving care and support from the GP practice, who also support me as a carer. He still has a very long way to go, but it is not presently felt that he is in immediate danger. He manages to sleep about 5 hours a night, and eats at least one small meal a day. This is actually a vast improvement!
My health is still not great but I am getting far more support from my GP now, and have better painkillers and more frequent appointments - plus we're on the priority list in case anything flares up.
My Partner is undischarged bankrupt at present but in the final quarter of it now, and the end is in sight.
We didn't lose our home. It came terrifyingly close but to thanks the recesion (I never knew I'd be glad of negative equity) and to a whip-around by friends and family I managed to raise the amount needed to buy out his interest in the property.
My cats are all still happily living with me, covering everything in fur, learning to "sing" at 4am and trying to steal every bit of food I try to eat.
Things are still going to eb hard for a while. We don't have much money and we both have some battles with our health to face, but somehow we are coming through this. A year ago I could not see how it would be possible to survive, but we have.
We are still in love, still together and still strong.
I have found that I have friends and family who will go out of their way to help me and the love and support from people online and irl has been incredible, humbling and at times overwhelming.
I know this is mushy and soppy but I hope that if anyone reads this and it helps them realise that however bleak it seems you will get through it then thats a good thing.

determined_new_ms

rhubarbarella wrote: »

I have no idea if any of you wonderful people who commented last year will see my update if I post it here, but I hope some of you do, and that if you have read through the whole thread and are struggling yourselves that it might help you in some way.
This time last year I thought my life was over.
I thought I would be homeless
I thought my partner would commit suicide.
Well...none of that happened.
My OH is now receiving care and support from the GP practice, who also support me as a carer. He still has a very long way to go, but it is not presently felt that he is in immediate danger. He manages to sleep about 5 hours a night, and eats at least one small meal a day. This is actually a vast improvement!
My health is still not great but I am getting far more support from my GP now, and have better painkillers and more frequent appointments - plus we're on the priority list in case anything flares up.
My Partner is undischarged bankrupt at present but in the final quarter of it now, and the end is in sight.
We didn't lose our home. It came terrifyingly close but to thanks the recesion (I never knew I'd be glad of negative equity) and to a whip-around by friends and family I managed to raise the amount needed to buy out his interest in the property.
My cats are all still happily living with me, covering everything in fur, learning to "sing" at 4am and trying to steal every bit of food I try to eat.
Things are still going to eb hard for a while. We don't have much money and we both have some battles with our health to face, but somehow we are coming through this. A year ago I could not see how it would be possible to survive, but we have.
We are still in love, still together and still strong.
I have found that I have friends and family who will go out of their way to help me and the love and support from people online and irl has been incredible, humbling and at times overwhelming.
I know this is mushy and soppy but I hope that if anyone reads this and it helps them realise that however bleak it seems you will get through it then thats a good thing.

wow u've reduced me to tears again! :T so happy that you both are in a better place x

FinallyLearnt

I hadn't read your thread before today, but have just read it all and am so pleased it's all working out for you. x

Matt2012_2

Amazing post. Well done! x

miggy

So good to hear this - thank you for updating us.

Re: possibly selling the house, I hope you can get some more experienced advice than mine. I can see it would ease the financial situation a lot to be able to pay off a big chunk of debt, but bear in mind the relative security of having your home and consider if moving would have a stressful effect on you and your partner.

JMO - I hope there's someone who understands all the ins and outs of these things and can give you some detailed advice.

LondonGirl252

I have read through all this today and just wanted to post to say how pleased I was to read your last post so positive, you did so well in the circumstances, many wouldn't have coped so well. Well done and best wishes to improved health for both of you