Hi, Please can anyone help? SOA and current situation

clairehi

well done, so pleased for you that the GP was on the ball.

dont let worries about side effects stop OH from giving the tablets a go, the drug co.s are obliged to list them all but it is probably very unlikely he will actually get them. hopefully the tablets will help OH break out of this bad spell.

all the best and good luck for the future.

goodgirl80

Hi there - only just started reading your thread, so sorry if I'm barging in, just wanted to let you know that I have been on Citalopram for a long time and not had any bad side effects. They certainly don't work for everyone, and apparently can make you worse at the beginning, but I have been fine.

afoolandhermoney77

Well done on all you are doing so far trying to sort out the situation! Your list is impressive on what you ahve achieved so far - you seem a really practical person - as you have already sought some solutions to problems that may arise - pro-active not reactive I like your style

Just with reference to your partner and suicidal thoughts etc. You do not have to wait for a doctors appointment next week if you genuinely fear he will take his own life then (and you probably don't want to do this and it will require his co-operation) make your way down to your local A&E no matter what time of day or night it is.

They have an on call psych/crisis team who will assess him - he may be prescribed some short term meds to help him sleep or relax until the doctors appointment is due. You can then point out to the doctors when you ring again requesting earlier appointment that he had been seen in A& E such was the concern for his wellbeing.

Just to allay your fears - There are very specific things that are taken into account when sectioning people.

Initially, an approved social worker, or nearest relative, can make an application to have the patient detained for assessment, based on two medical recommendations (i.e. doctor). The grounds for the application are set out under different sections of the Mental Health Act 1983.

Section Two is most often called upon to secure a hospital assessment. To qualify, it must be agreed that you're suffering from a mental disorder to a degree that warrants medical care and attention. Under Section Two, you can be detained for up to 28 days.
If a longer stay is deemed necessary for treatment, (initially for six months)
an application under Section Three of the Mental Health Act 1983 will be required. Under this section, the mental disorder that you're suffering from must be specified, as well as any treatment proposed.
Section Four covers emergency cases, and enables one doctor to order you to 'rest' in hospital for 72 hours.

I have had lots of experience of taking patients into A&E with mental health problems, thoughts of suicide, attempted suicide, psychotic episodes, overdoses, self harm etc and only a handful have ever been sectioned - and none of them were because they just felt suicidal. And by that I don't mean "just" as in its minor. I mean it was the more extreme cases, severe self harming, hallucinating etc.

If you really fear for him and you think he is going to make an attempt on his own life them dial 999 - an ambulance will then come, this is all hypothetical of course but just want to put you in the picture - if he had taken an overdose and refused to attend hospital then the paramedics will request police to attend and he will be removed to hospital against his will - this is not a section but preservation of life in the eyes of ambulance & police.

So despite you being told that he can't really see anyone till next week - just wanted you to know in an emergency there is help to be had - even if its the weekend, in the early hours or whatever, so please try not to worry.

Keep us posted - hope you can get things sorted xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

rhubarbarella

thanks to everyone. I seem to have hit my limits now. OH is having horrible side effects, but on the other hand hasn't metioned suidide for a couple of days
am totally wiped out. feel like everything is beyond me now. dont know what to do anymore. everything aches, everything hurts, i can't think straight i just want thi to all go away

RAS

Hi

Your GP asked to see you later this week. Have you made the appointment?

In the meantime, I suggest that you need to try and get some rest and sleep.

Is OH sleeping? And has he contacted the GP to tell them, about the siode effects?

KiKi

Hi OP

Butting in here with a few thoughts on your business; apologies if you've covered this already somewhere.

You mentioned that your business plan still stands, except for the level of customers, and I noticed you mentioned FB and local newspaper advertising. In my experience, neither of these are that effective in getting this sort of business. People want to know immediately where to go, which means they ask someone for a recommendation, or they think back to the last time they heard about anywhere like this.

Can I suggest that you do a leaflet drop? Print out 1000 leaflets or similar, 2 or 3 to an A4 page, from your own computer at home (don't pay for it). Identify three or four areas that are likely to have customers using your services, and blast them with leaflets this weekend. All it takes is one or two people to book and recommend you to someone else.

Your selling point is the tattoo removal in particular; I don't know many places that do this that are well advertised. You could even advertise for a half-price (or 20% off or something) on a second treatment, something to get them back through the door.

If your plan has been as accurate as you say, then this really could just be a case of getting customers through the door. You can only do this by telling them you're there and letting them know. Advertise ALL YOU CAN without paying for it.

You've only been in business since November - this is only your fourth month of trading. It takes time for 'service' businesses to pick up because you rely on word of mouth. Whilst you do, of course, have to concentrate on other issues and your other finances (and your partner's health comes first, of course), don't neglect to try and make the business work by getting people through the door. If all you need is 5 customers a week to break even, it could make all the difference for you.

Best of luck, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now.
KiKi

rhubarbarella

RAS wrote: »

Hi

Your GP asked to see you later this week. Have you made the appointment?

In the meantime, I suggest that you need to try and get some rest and sleep.

Is OH sleeping? And has he contacted the GP to tell them, about the siode effects?

I went to see the GP, but she couldn't really do much. She has referred me for counselling. Am going to ring in morning about OH side effects and try and bring his appt forward from tuesday.

I just can't think anymore. it is too much now. Feel bleak.
sorry.

rhubarbarella

KiKi wrote: »

Hi OP

Butting in here with a few thoughts on your business; apologies if you've covered this already somewhere.

You mentioned that your business plan still stands, except for the level of customers, and I noticed you mentioned FB and local newspaper advertising. In my experience, neither of these are that effective in getting this sort of business. People want to know immediately where to go, which means they ask someone for a recommendation, or they think back to the last time they heard about anywhere like this.

Can I suggest that you do a leaflet drop? Print out 1000 leaflets or similar, 2 or 3 to an A4 page, from your own computer at home (don't pay for it). Identify three or four areas that are likely to have customers using your services, and blast them with leaflets this weekend. All it takes is one or two people to book and recommend you to someone else.

Your selling point is the tattoo removal in particular; I don't know many places that do this that are well advertised. You could even advertise for a half-price (or 20% off or something) on a second treatment, something to get them back through the door.

If your plan has been as accurate as you say, then this really could just be a case of getting customers through the door. You can only do this by telling them you're there and letting them know. Advertise ALL YOU CAN without paying for it.

You've only been in business since November - this is only your fourth month of trading. It takes time for 'service' businesses to pick up because you rely on word of mouth. Whilst you do, of course, have to concentrate on other issues and your other finances (and your partner's health comes first, of course), don't neglect to try and make the business work by getting people through the door. If all you need is 5 customers a week to break even, it could make all the difference for you.

Best of luck, I'm sorry for what you're going through right now.
KiKi

Hi, thanks for the suggestion. I have been out doing this almost everyday, have given out over 3000 flyers ths last 2 weeks alone. including 1200 delivered through letterboxes in target areas
I think the whole economic situation has changed since we first set out with the reaseacrh and everything, the market has bottomed out. everyday when I go to the shop there seems to be another business en-route thats gone under, more and more empty and baorded up units every day. In some ways at least it isn't just that we were rubbish and got it wrong, but ut doesn't really help matters.

I feel so low

RAS

rhubarbarella wrote: »

Hi, thanks for the suggestion. I have been out doing this almost everyday, have given out over 3000 flyers ths last 2 weeks alone. including 1200 delivered through letterboxes in target areas
I think the whole economic situation has changed since we first set out with the reaseacrh and everything, the market has bottomed out. everyday when I go to the shop there seems to be another business en-route thats gone under, more and more empty and baorded up units every day. In some ways at least it isn't just that we were rubbish and got it wrong, but ut doesn't really help matters.

I agree totally, I have seen several local businesses fold in recent weeks.

No-one could have seen quite how hard things would be hit in the last 6 months.

Please please, take time out. Even if you cannot sleep, get a bath or a shower, wrap up warm and chill out. If he will let you and you want to give OH a cuddle.

You have taken an awful hammering in the last two weeks and it is important that you look after yourself rather than just looking after the business and OH.

You must rest or you will burn out and then things will be harder. So stop now when your body and your mind tell you.

There is a really good thread on the old style forum of five pleasures a day. Some peopel there have difficult lives but trying to find something that gives them pleasure helps them cope.

Even if it is only the sun shining or a child laugh, it is worth finding pleasure.
https://forums.moneysavingexpert.com/discussion/2039611

rhubarbarella

Hi again,

had a rough estimate valuation of house, which valued it at £138000. we currently owe £139800. so we are in negative equity. which may be a good thing if OH goes BR I think?

I also hoped someone could answer a query for me?
My OH has a credit card with a credit limit of £3000, which currently has no debt on it. If it looks like he is going to go under, can he withdraw that limit as cash in order to pay essential bills if he goes BR as we have no income and then put that debt into the BR? or is that stupid and/or illegal? I just have no idea anymore, but don't want to break the law as well as being bankrupted and I am not sure where we stand on that one?

bad day today, feel utterly shocking.