Hi, Please can anyone help? SOA and current situation

Mike_parsonnage

rhubarbarella wrote: »

me again...Hi...






Oh, thats a bit depressing really. Poo.
I haven't told my partner this yet, don't want to upset him again. Today I managed to get him to eat a pork sandwich (which, unfortunately cost me £2.20, but he suddenly said "I could maybe eat a pork sarnie", so I went out in the rain and found a sandwich shop, its virtually all he had eaten in 3 days). He also ate 5 grapes, a milky coffee with sugar, and 5 bites of a ready meal. This is the most he has eaten in almost a week. Sorry to bore you with his dietary habits. But basically, I don't want to upset him again now by telling hm the numbers still do not work.


PS how do I get rid of that spam post?

It is very important that your OH eats or gets nourrishment . Just before I jumped I had hardley eaten or sleept for days. Heavy meals are really difficult to digest when he is feeling like he is ( the stomack just closes up ) Milk is very good for you . Try and get him to drink as much of this as possible . Even drinking lots of tea with plenty of milk in it would help. If he does not like milkey tea , add another tea bag to counter act the amount of milk in the cup . This all might sound a bit silly but nourrishment is very impotant .

rhubarbarella

Some more useful comments from people, and something else to look into, so thanks again to you wonderful people.

Mike - I am doing my best to get him to eat. He did drink a glass of milk earlier, and 2 cups of milky coffee, so thats something.

Went to the advice drop-in this morning. Was less useful than I had hoped. The woman even suggested that I take out a loan since the debt is in his name and that we live off that - surely thats a recipe for disaster??!!
Anyway, we have a referall to a debt case worker but it is ver 2 weeks away that we see them.

Also contacted thr local business enterprise people who are coming to see us Friday to brainstorm ideas and see if were eligible for any grants.

Im sure there was more but if I said I was exhausted it would not come close to describing how bad I actually feel.

This is starting to take its toll on me now, fibromyalgia and gastric problems are flaring up again and I have had to reort to my uber strong painkillers.

On the plus side - I had my boiler fixed and now have hot water again after a week without, so hoping a hot shower will help me feel better. Also been told that there does seem to be a fault with the gas meter, so thanks to the people who pointed out the gas price was too high. I have been told they would expect it to be half what I am paying. Also learned that when they replaced the meter 2 years ago as I thought it was faulty they replaced it with another old one, not a new one. So I have a lead to follow here too - possibly I can even get a rebate if I can prove we have been paying or gas we didn't use.

Not sure what else as I am exhausted....and this is exhaustion unlke any normal "tired"ness

RachelS

I wanted to offer some support as well. Please, please don't feel ashamed of the situation, or think anyone is going to have a go at you about your cats, etc. We all know what it's like and how you can get into this situation.

I would say, call the GP first thing and explain the situation. They can get mental health nurses in to see your partner every single day...they did that for me when I was suicidal with post-natal depression. If you are firm, the help is there.

Mike_parsonnage

Keep him taking as much as possible . If he is not eating then liquids will have to do. Sounds like he needs to be seen by someone and helped. The tiredness you describe is just like I had they gave me sleeping pills they worked the first night but not after that . So sorry I cannot help any more but hope you get the shower and sleep that you need.

sparklystar_2

if you can't get in at the doctors when you ring tomorrow i would go straight to a&e - if you are worried about him in the night ring the out of hours GP service to arrange an apt. i know it can be difficult discussing concerns with a receptionist but as others have said if others realise the seriousness of the situation he is likely to be seen sooner.

rhubarbarella

Thanks again people.

I seriously feel Like I am running out of steam now. I ache all over, got an upset tummy, constant headache, broken out in spots, dry skin..I must say I have felt sexier.
OH seems a little better today. Less suicidal and more just angry...which is hard to cope with but at the minute I do not feel that he will harm himself.

I am appalled by the lack of help from the Drs, whatever I say when I ring up the receptionist just bleats out the same nonsense. I am keeping a close eye on him, he did eat a whole pizza though today, and managed a few hours sleep last night.

In some ways I am starting to find it harder. The first few days I was just constantly busy busy, researching and reading and phoning etc. Now I have done all I can for the time being and thats hard, I want to be doing something. But I can feel the toll it is taking on me.

I will keep people updated though, you have been so wonderful. To receive such kindness from strangers is overwhelming. I hope when we have got ourselves sorted I will have the strength to help and support others as you have helped me.

I still don't know what will happen to us, whether the business will go under, whether we will lose our home etc but I feel reassured that the people on here will be on hand with support and advice.

Tomorrow the business enterprise people are coming to see if theres anyway they can help. Depending on the outcome of that I will be phoning business debt line. I probably should have already but I am reaching my limits I think. My depression is rearing its ugly head and all I want to do is climb into bed and pull the quilt over my head and hide. Yet even when I do go to bed I just lay there tense and awake. How can I be so tired and yet not sleep? And if I do sleep I jump awake again in the early hours with mind and heart racing?

Sorry to kep on whingeing

confused76

hi there
i just caught your thread before logging off, i had to post before i went!

do you think the doctors surgery have realised how low your partner is feeling? the surgery i am with don't tell you about the appointments they have kept to one side for emergencies unless you specifically ask for one.

i'm a regular on the bankruptcy board and just wanted to say hi and please pop over if you have bankruptcy related questions, we don't bite. most of us have been at rock bottom and people have been in similar situations to you. taking advice is key, so good luck with the business enterprise and business debtline tomorrow.

i'll keep an eye on this thread in case i can help in any way. even if bankruptcy is the way forward (it is a last resort and has its drawbacks), then we will support you through the process as the DFW people are.

take care, i hope you both get a decent nights sleep
xxx

rhubarbarella

Well, finally managed to get my OH to the bank today, to open a basic account, so after I try and force some food down my neck I am going to help him transfer all his DDs and SOs over to the new account, which is unconnected to any of his debts.

Had the enterprise people out today, they said I had done everything they could think of and more, although they are going to go away and have a think if there is anything else that may help.
It doesn't really help us any, but in some ways knowing I have done all I can is somewhat reassuring in the sense of if it does all fall apart it is not for lack of trying, if tht makes sense.

I managed to sleep 6 hours straight last night and do feel better for it. Getting tired again now, and stressing at all the payments due to go out over the next few days. It doesn't help that it is so cold, yet when I put the heating on I feel as though I may as well sit here burning 5 pound notes.

I will update you all as things progress. I must be an optimist deep down as I keep thinking how i would love to be able to come back next week and tell you all something amazing has happened and everything will be Ok. Well, either an optimist or totally delusional! maybe a close friend or relative will win the lottery or something!

As an aside, my partner paid into the NHS pension scheme for 8 years while he worked there, does anyone know if a) there is any way to access that money to pay off some debts/live off or b) if he did go bankrupt, would his pension be seized as part of the process?

Thanks again x

RAS

For info on the BR situation, do go over to the BR forum. The regulars are a wonderful bunch but they do attract the odd really nasty troll. If anything kicks off, report it to abuse and go off line for an hour or two.

Friday night tends to be a bit of a troll-time, so maybe sleep tonight and go on tomorrow?

or look round and then post tomorrow?

And keep feeding that man,

Have you been able to get him out and make him do a stiff walk?

rhubarbarella

RAS wrote: »

For info on the BR situation, do go over to the BR forum. The regulars are a wonderful bunch but they do attract the odd really nasty troll. If anything kicks off, report it to abuse and go off line for an hour or two.

Friday night tends to be a bit of a troll-time, so maybe sleep tonight and go on tomorrow?

or look round and then post tomorrow?

And keep feeding that man,

Have you been able to get him out and make him do a stiff walk?

ah, wish I had seen this before I went and started a thread on the br boards. Am bracing myself for some nasty trolls now .
I feel like my brain is swimming in all the new info I have had to take in this last week and a bit. Wouldn't it be lovely to go to sleep and wake up tomorrow and find it was all a bad dream?